Text/Shadow
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In July 2018, Kan Qingzi and Ji Lingchen, who had been in love for 8 years, officially broke up, and this sensational "sister-brother love" finally ended in an undignified way.
It is said that when the news of their breakup became a household name, Ji Lingchen's parents were still reluctant to move out of Kan Qingzi's house.
Eight years of love, eight years of youth, Kan Qingzi once hinted in the show to let Ji Lingchen marry her, but she did not wait for his marriage proposal after all.
In this relationship, what we see from Kan Qingzi is "gambling and losing", while what we see from Ji Lingchen is "not losing".
This is probably the true portrayal of "sister-brother love".
An emotional blogger once said: "Men often have conditions attached to choosing women older than themselves." ”
He talks about liking mature and attractive women, but his mind is full of weighing the pros and cons.
Men like "sisters", stemming from the "profit mentality"
French writer Romain Rolland once said: "In marriage, everyone has to pay a price, but also to take back something, this is the law of supply and demand." ”
In fact, not only marriage, any relationship should follow this law, but it does not include "sister-brother love".
In the "sister-brother love" relationship, it is usually the woman who pays and the man who benefits.
A man who is willing to accept a woman who is older than himself is often looking at the benefits.
Emotional aspect: pay less, gain more
Zhu Hao in the TV series "Fog Capital" likes to call his wife the eldest sister, and she is both a wife and a sister to him.
And his wife really spoiled him like a big sister, not only taking care of him meticulously, but also helping him take care of those aunts and wives, and he only needed to be a mischievous teenager in front of his eldest sister.
The same is true of most of the "sister-brother love" in life, women because of their age, always take care of and let men everywhere, and men are often takers.
A man can get the most rewards with the least amount of effort, what reason does he have to refuse this relationship that is already beneficial to him?
Economically: you can struggle for a few years less
There is a very hot sentence on the Internet: "Auntie, I don't want to try anymore." ”
Although this is a joke, it also speaks to the hearts of many men.
In this stressful contemporary society, many men also hope that someone will pull him and make him struggle for many years less.
So when they meet a woman with superior financial conditions and a few years older than him, they often use this as an opportunity to change their fate.
Psychological aspect: a sense of superiority can be obtained
Chinese has a very deep traditional thinking, because from ancient times to the present, most of the marriages and loves are composed of "men and women small", women will have an inexplicable sense of inferiority in their hearts when they are older than the other half, and men will also have a corresponding sense of superiority.
Peter Farre once said, "A sense of superiority is just a state of affairs, and it does not mean that you are really good." ”
However, this mentality often has a powerful impact on real life.
Women think that they are not worthy of him when they are old, he thinks that women should let him everywhere when they are old, and the inexplicable sense of superiority will make him feel that women should do everything.
And the reality is that many women do have low self-esteem in this relationship, and thus humble themselves to the dust.
"Sister-brother love" stability conditions: women pay, men benefit
In one program, someone asked Chen Xiaoyun: "What does it feel like for a sister and brother to love, is it the same as taking a son?" ”
She replied with a wry smile, "You'll know it when you try it." ”
Chen Xiaoyun has been with Yu Xiaotong for many years, and they have also been on variety shows together, but their mode of getting along in the show has made countless viewers can't stand it.
The man is not only naïve, but also will make a fool of himself, and Chen Xiaolun often has to coax him like a child.
In everyone's view, the relationship itself is distorted, so when they announced the breakup, many people were happy for Chen Xiaolun.
The law of "sister-brother love": women are on the giveer side, and men are profiteers. If this state is broken, the relationship will also become unstable.
In the "sister-brother love" relationship, the man will naturally enjoy everything that the woman has paid because of the age difference, and it is precisely because the woman pays more that he balances his heart.
If one day a woman is no longer willing to give, and is dissatisfied with the current life, and even asks the man to take on the corresponding responsibilities, he will feel unbalanced inside.
He found a woman who was older than himself, so that he could get more care and live a little easier.
If he had to share the responsibilities equally, he might as well find a woman of similar age.
Women talk about "sister-brother love": it starts with joy and ends with exhaustion
The process and ending of "sister-brother love" are often similar.
Momentary joy.
A girl who is chased by a man who is several years younger than herself will get emotional pleasure in herself, because she feels that this is a man's affirmation of her charm.
When you are not so young, you can make a young and handsome boyfriend, and your vanity can also be satisfied, after all, it will be very faceful to take out.
At this time she was rejoicing, but this joy was only short-lived.
Chronic exhaustion
After a brief period of joy, the woman will face a long feeling of exhaustion.
First, physical tiredness
Because in life it is usually a woman who takes care of a man, her body will bear unprecedented exhaustion.
Doing housework, taking care of people itself is a hard thing, in a short period of time can still be competent, a long time who will feel tired.
Second, psychological tiredness
Psychological torture is the most important than physical torture.
The most worrying people in the "sister-brother love" relationship are usually women, and men tend to act as hand-throwing treasurers in life, coupled with some men's immature thinking, women tend to work hard in this relationship.
What's more, there is no way for people to escape the laws of nature, and due to the age difference, the age gap on the face will also follow.
The passage of time can make women feel anxious, and they will often feel insecure, which is also a kind of psychological pressure.
Third, mental tiredness
The so-called mental tiredness mostly comes from the opinions of others.
People habitually accept "big men and women small" marriage and love, and once they encounter the opposite case, they will inevitably quietly discuss it behind their backs.
Although everyone says to go their own way and let others say it, people are social animals after all, and no one can really care about other people's opinions.
When you become the talk of others after dinner, when your other half shows superiority in front of you, your spirit will be tortured.
Whether it is love or marriage, short-term joy cannot replace long-term feelings.
Women can accept "sister-brother love", but do not act impulsively, you must recognize the essence of this matter from the beginning and prepare accordingly.
I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.