Girls want to grasp the initiative of the relationship, but also rely on this key ability

*Title Source: Question 3 of this issue

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Question 1

Keywords: sister-brother love

Hello baby sister ~

I was in graduate school in 94, graduated next year, boyfriend 99 years, junior college sophomore year, together for 8 months, currently neither of them are paid, his family downtown a suite, my family downtown also has a set.

He could be upgraded to military service during college, but he would have to wait for two more years after graduating from the college.

The current situation I am almost 27, was urged to marry, he has a stable personality, he must do what he says, considering our age difference, he is also willing to get engaged next year, two years after graduating from undergraduate and marrying me, I am still a little moved, after all, his age peers are still playing hi, he is willing to make these choices for me.

But recently went to his house for dinner, he mentioned to his mother that he wanted to marry me, asked his parents if they could support the house, his mother's reaction was to let him find his father, but his father's money was also handed over to his mother in charge...

And before chatting with his mother, occasionally mentioning that others get married and buy a house, the mother said son, you have to earn money to buy a house, or what acquaintances she knows, five suites under her, is not unhappy... I felt a little embarrassed and just walked around the topic.

But now combined with all her mother's reactions, is he married, the family house is not ready to produce a set, his father has been doing business outside for many years, there is a suite in the city that their family lives, it feels like not even a suite can not afford to buy people, I don't know if they think I am too easy to deal with

So even if I don't mind that we have such a big disparity in academic qualifications, how do I communicate this with my boyfriend next?

Thank you for the guidance of the baby sister, the photo is hidden.

answer

You have not only stepped on the minefield of sister-brother love, but also have a considerable difference in choice.

Your boyfriend's appearance is exactly like a Korean star, you have to look good, you have to have muscles. And your appearance is too hard, the apple muscle is severely sagging, the mouth is convex and the chin is retracted, and the bone phase of the whole face is very problematic. Even if you dress very carefully, you are still very old. General sister-brother love is also a year or two old, girls by engaging in face, do anti-aging, wait until the boy is intoxicated with male appearance to become ugly, two or three children in the middle, there may be a stable relationship, but the age and choice gap of your relationship is so large that you can't see the possibility of relationship stability at all.

Therefore, your boyfriend's parents are not unwilling to provide a house for their son's marriage, but they oppose this family affair from the bottom of their hearts. They don't want to talk straight to you, so they find reasons to shirk rejection. They also do this not because you are "too easy to deal with", but because you have climbed too high in the relationship too much, and they want their son to match a younger and more beautiful girl. If you have a son in the future and encounter such a thing, I am afraid that you will react the same way.

From your question, you can see that you are very unconvinced. You think that you and your boyfriend have "such a big difference in education", you should have "minded" about it, but you raised your hand high and did not dislike each other. You think that your boyfriend's parents have no eyes, do not look up at you, and give you preferential treatment. But the reality is that your boyfriend is just in his early twenties, still in the process of promotion, the family has money, the right to choose is high, there is no need to find a non-good-looking graduate student daughter-in-law now, isn't it better to find a young and beautiful graduate student daughter-in-law in a few years?

That is to say, as long as he works hard, his competition has the opportunity to be on par with you, or even surpass you. But even if you try harder, can you become younger than him, better looking than him? Your longboard is temporary and transcendable, but your shortcomings are eternal and difficult to make up. The truth of this is that even if you refuse to admit it, you can't stop the essence of this relationship is Gao Pan, that is, you take advantage of it and don't recognize it, so your boyfriend's parents are unwilling to support your marriage, which is a very normal reaction.

You ask me "how do I communicate this with my boyfriend next", and all I can say is that not all problems can be solved through communication. The money is in the pockets of your boyfriend's parents, they don't approve of you, they don't want to pay you, this can be solved through words? What's more, you are now maliciously speculating about your boyfriend's parents and making a tit-for-tat gesture. Your mind is wrong, and no matter how right you say it is, it is useless.

With the difference between the MVs between the two of you, you simply can't get parenting investment in this marriage, and your degree of choice gap is reasonable for your family to provide the house.

If you still want to marry him, do not hesitate to gamble with your own youth for a few years, then accept all the conditions of the man's family, and the treatment and time of marriage depend on the man's meaning;

If the house is the bottom line of your marriage, then changing people early is more suitable for you.

I support your substitution, your boyfriend is too young, and it will take several years for him to graduate and make money. Even if you can reluctantly enter into marriage with him, you will be thirty years old, and if you are married, don't you have to consider the problem of childbearing? There are many more areas where financial support is needed, are you sure that you two can handle this series of expenses?

Breaking up early and finding the right other half is king. After the breakup, consider hooping your teeth, do another anti-aging project, and bring up the MV. In the feelings, backwardness will be beaten, and talents with the right to choose have the right to speak, seize the time.

Question 2

Keywords: spit leadership

Sister Doll, please ask the leader to be known by the leader, is there a good way to save it?

Because there was no opportunity to enter the department of a female leader, and saw the department recruitment, and the boyfriend acid "the department is so idle and recruits people", the hand was mistakenly sent to the leader, and the leader mistakenly believed that she was spitting on her own idleness.

Although I explained it at the first time, I still failed to eliminate the misunderstanding, let a good colleague test the leader, and learned that I had a lot of opinions. The leader has good prospects for development in the company, and I am recognized as a favorite, I just jumped ship for a year, and I also want to settle in the company, so there is no plan to jump jobs again.

I myself am very bad at saving a relationship, currently planning to go to the annual meeting to toast alone, but how to say or no ideas, wisdom of the doll sister, can you give some advice?

This behavior of yours, placed in the feelings, is equivalent to "big bang PU".

The "PU" here can be understood as the level of trust that the leader has in you. Your hand slipped and the wrong hair, causing her to complain to her face, and it is normal for her to have an opinion about you, which is not solved. Now the key is to see, your position in the team, can not let the leader pay attention to you to a certain extent, such as you are the C position of the team, some business must be you. Without your team, you can't play, then even if you scold her in person, she will endure it, and it is important to keep her job.

But the question is, are you that capable? A person who feels that the department is very idle in his daily life must not have much work to do in his eyes, and he will spit on the leader behind his back, and his emotional intelligence should be average. You also said that you "just jumped over for a year, but also want to settle in the company, so there is no job hopping plan again", which means that there is no ability to jump again, not to be held everywhere by people, then why do you think that the leader here "exploded THE PU", but also vainly try to toast alone, say a few good words, this matter can pass, what do you think? Toasting can only express an attitude of admitting mistakes, which can reduce the anger value of the other party by one percent, and if you want the other party not to be angry at all, you still have ninety-nine percent to work hard.

There are only two paths that work for you, the first of which is squinting. The leader puts on small shoes for you, pinches you everywhere, you endure, this is all you deserve, in two or three years, you work hard and complain, no mistakes, the leader may change his mind about you, and your life will be a little better by then. However, it is also possible that the economy will not be good in the next few years, the company will lay off employees, and the leader may hand over your name at the first time, which is what you need to bear.

The second is that you don't have the ability to jump ship and jump hard, and change a leader who has not been offended by you.

This question tells us that we must be cautious and cautious, and do not say bad things about others behind our backs. There is no "hand mistakenly sent to the leader" in this world, some just often walk by the river, where there are shoes that are not wet. If no one knows, unless they do nothing about it.

Old powder advanced

Question 3

(Source of the title of this issue)

Keywords: anti-instinctive charm

Doll sister little assistant good ~ after the introduction of girlfriends to pay attention, after joining the knowledge planet. The previous question was not selected, and it would be very lucky if it could be drawn this time.

Male god little brother 90 height 178, weight 157 looks like? After y love, I lost a lot of weight haha, but the little brother is very strong and super secure

I am 93 tall 165 and weigh 101. While working out and researching how to make a good fat-loss meal. The family is well-off and works overseas.

We were together for two years, and after half a year we took me back to meet the parents. Last year's New Year male god proposed marriage, and then picked a date to get a license, and the wedding is expected to be next year, and it is necessary to wait for parents to come after love. Planet test male god is more stone, and then cloth also has a little. But I think the male god is very good at dealing with people and feels that there is also some cut sex. A little bit of a quasi-male god attribute.

Recently, the male god changed jobs, the salary was basically twice that of me, and then it was very hard to work overtime every night, and the male god was slowly deploying.

Then I think I still have a little temper, and the male god will not speak when he is angry. But there has never been a quarrel between more male gods. It's all five minutes or I take the initiative to reconcile, or the male god says that the baby is the best, and then I'm fine. I should pay attention to keeping my MV more or learning to lower some PU is better to use.

Just began to contact medical beauty, the male god does not oppose cutting double eyelids and hitting slimming face injections and other micro-finishing, but feels that it is not necessary to make a net red face. Want to help the doll sister to see what I still have to work in the direction, Figure 45 is a recent photo, the photo to hide.

Judging from the photos, your appearance is really old, and the facial muscles show a sagging trend; the figure is inexplicably strong, especially the calf muscles are too developed;

The dressing style is very strange, especially in the photo with the fountain as the background, you are wearing a red knee-length skirt with a knee-length autumn pants textured gray stockings on your legs, which looks different.

On the other hand, your husband is tall and handsome, young and energetic, and well-dressed, and the overall choice is much higher than yours.

Now your husband's state is indeed gradually developing in the direction of cloth, which makes you uneasy, but unfortunately, it is difficult for girls to prevent the other half from competing for promotion, which is against instinct, or let the other half reverse instinct, it is more difficult.

In addition to the MV, your PU also has problems. You have climbed the boyfriend, and now his competition has begun to take off again, but you can't control your temper, and you will use the "non-talk" way to fight with the other party, which is very dangerous to demand emotional value.

We human instincts like stability, even if you "take the initiative to reconcile" afterwards, it is difficult to reduce the damage of tantrums and cold war to each other, the best solution is not to lose your temper, do not cold war. I can understand your uneasy feelings in the face of your other half's competitive ascension in this relationship, but tantrums can make the problem worse and worse.

In addition to controlling negative emotions and maintaining emotional stability, you do need to boost your MV. But cutting double eyelids is not the most suitable way for you to enhance the MV, what you should do most is to lose weight, anti-aging, maintain the lightness and tightness of the body, while wearing the right clothes, decent clothes are more suitable for you, you send photos, the seaside one is good, you can dress up more towards the feeling of that photo.

Men start to compete, and women feel uneasy because women don't know how far the other person will be promoted. Women start to compete, will also change the situation of a relationship, this is the charm of the reverse instinct, as long as you start, continue to insist, it is beneficial to the result, come on, you can not change the pace of the other party, but can keep up with the pace of the other party.

Question 4

Keywords: be small three

Hello Sister Baby, Planet Diving is concerned about you, thank you Sister Baby for letting me wake up at this juncture age!

This year 26, the average urban family only child female non-virgin, height 168, weight 100, male scissors female cloth industry, because of graduation on the wind outlet good luck annual salary million.

Self-rated rough cloth became a shear cloth because of "the courage to go to the operating table with its bulging belt and countless teeth clenched." At that time, I did not pay attention to the doll sister, did not understand the theory of cutting stone cloth, and broke up in two consecutive loves because I found that I was third (seamless)

The ex was 4 years younger, and my high-pitched face and love price half a year ago broke up very bloody:

I slept at my ex's house when his girlfriend suddenly knocked on the door, opened the door and saw me, she had an emotional breakdown on the spot, threw everything that could be dropped, and even hit people. The predecessor was cold-blooded, directly called the police and threatened. During their negotiations I went downstairs and went home (the girl said when she dropped something, "Didn't I rent your house?"). Didn't I buy your clothes, and what I dropped wasn't mine? ）

Thinking back to the scene of that day, I had mixed feelings, because I saw his girlfriend's gaffe and collapse, the look of the ex's cold disgust, I thought of my former self, and felt empathy for her collapse and pain. Confused about the future of marriage, he met a lover who was even more terrifying than when he was in Shibu.

I want to ask the doll sister, my current situation, want to choose a single pair of stone-cutting men for a long time, the other party's income is not required. Is this a high climb?

If so, what should I cultivate to have the marriage I want?

I really hope to be flopped, and thank you very much for the planet of The Doll Sister, which made me awaken! (Many friends pay attention to photos to hide)

"Two consecutive love breakups before, both because of finding themselves by the little three (seamless)"

This is a very frightening thing to think about.

Because it is not common to be a little three, it usually happens to girls with extremely low perception. But you not only met, but also twice, indicating that the problem is not necessarily all in the other person's body. Instead of scolding "horrible lovers", think about why scumbags always line up to plague you.

The answer is:

The other half you like is often someone far beyond your ability. You can't hold on to his wholeness, you can only make his half choice.

And the attributes of your ex-boyfriend, houses, clothes, and objects are all bought by his ex-girlfriend, that is to say, he is a person who lives by taking advantage of his girlfriend, the attribute must be scissors, and can deceive two girls, making people lower their guard, and the possibility of stone scissors is relatively large.

Although your MV has improved now, it is not as high as you think. You say that if you want to choose a single-minded stone-cutting man, then at least you have to be a cloth cutter woman who matches it, but you are a cloth cut woman. You said that there are no requirements for the other party's economy, and you emphasize that the long choice is single," which is equivalent to turning a circle, and then running to the stone scissor man who "can best package the long choice of one". Only they can tolerate your desire and sucking for emotional value, as well as tolerate your temperament and perception.

With your 26-year-old annual salary in this industry, it is no accident that there will still be one stone shear after another around you. Your perception of feelings and marriage is only to this extent, and you can't resist the emotional offensive of the scissor men, what you want, they can show you. For example, if you like to be single-minded, then they will appear as loyal dogs around you, more single-minded than you want, until you let your guard down. This is a curse that you as the cloth cutter cannot escape.

If you want to change the physique of sucking slag, you can only change yourself. Your current ability to choose a mate is like a few students at the end of a class crane, and if you want to improve, the first thing you do is to make up the basics. You have to improve your perception. At least fish yourself up from the bottom level, don't be a little three again. Secondly, improve the ability to distinguish, read more micro-questions and answers, read more books, know what men say is true, what words are false, and learn to get around the trap of bad men. Finally, you can take a course with the marriage lawyer, and the next time is this fall.

In short, a bite can not become a fat person, you can not become a "cloth scissors" for a long time, let alone get the real singleness and long choice. Only by constantly cultivating, going through the process of upgrading other fairies, and then relying on their true ability to choose the people they can hold in the mate market, can they get closer to happiness.

Knowledge Planet Quiz

Keywords: emotional value after drinking

#来源于2022年3月5日在知识星球的问答 #

Dear baby sister, I have a doubt, after drinking, men like to say good things to their wives, praise their wives, offer hospitality, and hug and kiss, why is this? Does this illustrate a man's attributes?

(I'm quite disgusted by this, because it's normal, it feels like this after drinking too much, it feels very fake, and I don't like men's sudden emotional value, it always feels wrong.) ）

It should be to take advantage of the wine to imagine the wife as someone else, or to recall the meaning of when they were first married.

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