I just wanted him to coax me, why did he really break up?

*Title Source: Question 1 of this issue

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Question 1

(Source of the title of this issue)

Keywords: The right to choose

I've been with my boyfriend for almost eight years, from the first year of high school to now, his family is relatively well-off, and he is an undergraduate, I am a specialist, I have been in a relatively low state, before I was better at high school, and then college off-site is not so good

There were many breakups, all of which I mentioned, but the next day it will be reconciled, when he was a junior, his dad sent him a big g, and since then it has changed, all kinds of clubbing are outside, people around him will remind me of his cheating from time to time, and I have never seen my parents in the past eight years

Last month because I sent him a message he did not reply for a long time, he was very angry to mention the breakup, he agreed, said that there is no feeling or split it, but I just want him to coax me, and did not really want to divide, and then I went to him, he also liked to answer

I am still reluctant to have this relationship, after all these years, all my youth, should I continue in the end

answer

I haven't seen your parents in eight years, and people around you have been reminding you that he cheated, sent messages and did not return, and broke up without redemption... All this shows that he really does not want to continue with you, you have broken up.

This boy's right to choose is much higher than you, you can find a girlfriend in high school, your family is better than you, your education is higher than yours, and your junior home has also sent a big G. You can be together only because you are high school classmates, you know each other when you are micro, your PU is low and the other party has not really entered the mate market. And now, as you're both getting married, the real choices between the two parties are exposed, and his true matching partner appears, so you're out. In the end, the choice is too big.

Or pack up your mood and prepare to enter a peaceful relationship. When you break up, it is more painful to choose the party with the lower right to choose, and you may not be able to accept it for a while, but it is better than forcibly getting married and making a big room. Fortunately, you are still young, leaving such a mismatched relationship is not a bad thing, and if you want to get good treatment, you can improve yourself from now on. Remember, feelings rely on attraction, and seeking truth does not change your mind.

Question 2

Keywords: divorced with children and then choose a mate

35-year-old divorced with a 7-year-old boy, the youngest son returned to her ex-husband at the age of 4, stable work, annual salary of 30W, graduate degree, I have a general appearance, makeup is not bad, height 160 weight 50 kg, C cup.

I want to find a condition similar to mine, don't mind the other party with a baby. Is my request too unrealistic? The men I met before, either the conditions are much worse than mine, or the conditions are OK and don't like me very much, what should I do? Is there no hope? Should I give up and find someone else?

The difference between boys and girls is holistic, and this is called gender duality, that is to say, the two sexes are completely different. For example, you said that you want to find a boy with similar conditions to you, then in the marriage market, the boy who has the same choice as you is about one meter six and weighs 50 kilograms. The high probability is not acceptable.

You hope that boys can have some male traits, but the female traits you have, that is, the conditions of reproductive resources, there is no way to match such people well at this stage.

So first of all, you have to recognize that there are differences between men and women.

Secondly, you have to recognize that you do not have a particularly large advantage in the competitiveness of female mate selection, so that you can find men who do not have a particularly large advantage in the competitiveness of male mate selection, rather than the men you think have similar conditions to him.

If you ask the other party to have similar hardware to you, and want to find an annual salary of about 35, about 30W, and a graduate degree, it is very unrealistic. Because boys with this condition are not only in the golden mate selection period, but also can give a lot of parenting value, the choice is quite high. But for girls, 35 has passed the golden mate selection period, and the fertility period will pass for a few more years. Whether income can be used as a mate advantage for girls depends on whether you plan to share it with your partner, if you don't plan, it can't be counted as a mate advantage (after all, the boy's income is to spend on the partner by default). These are the objective laws of the marriage market.

Girls who remarry should be more sober-minded than girls who are newly married. Because the choice of mate is the right to choose in the end, if you can figure out that the men who are much worse than you want are the ones who match you, you can take a lot of detours.

Question 3

Keywords: ex-goddess

Hello doll goddesses and little helpers, love you guys! Read the perfect and don't take it, harvest the male god boyfriend.

I'm 93 years high 165 weight 93, alone, 4500 months

He was 92 years tall, 176 and weighed 110, alone, 7000 per month

His family conditions are better than mine, he looks very handsome personality is very good, very protective, the circle of friends are me, housework initiative to do, I am more stable in mood do not make a sweet mouth to worship him, did not quarrel, occasionally a small friction I coaxed him to be good, mobile phone casually look, festivals have gifts or red envelopes, half a year of interaction when both parents meet after living together, now dating for more than a year, he promotes next year to get married, his parents are also very good, feel that they are so lucky.

There is an existing question I would like to ask:

Just met him quite a good chat but like a friend, after knowing more than half a year he actively promoted to be together, recently found that when he just met when he and his friend WeChat chat about the heart or the girl, like her for two years, very beautiful thin young 98 years, she can't look up to my boyfriend, think he is old, not handsome, not the type she likes (the male god is so disgusted with my good heartache)

Although he was active and public after being with me, never contacted her, and never mentioned her to a friend, I still had a sense of crisis, and he used to tell his friend that she was the only person who made him very excited at first sight, and the slightest hope would jump on it. In case she later finds out his good come back to kick the gym I will be out?

Before asking him if he had a girl who was impressed, he said no, mentioned this girl, he only said that the appearance can be, but there is a generation gap can not talk, I completely believed at that time, what should I do? Sister Wa and the little assistant worked hard

In our opinion, you and the 98-year-old girl MV are not much different, and have not reached the gap between one is a "goddess" and the other is a "female fan". At the end of the day, it's just that she's dressed up a little more foreign than you, and her expression and demeanor are more agile.

Considering that your relationship with your boyfriend has always been very good, and your boyfriend has not been in contact with her since he was with you, he probably only used her as a first-glance goddess for a while, but after getting along, he still found that you are better. Boyfriend to promote next year's marriage, you are also very protective, the circle of friends are you, mobile phone casually look, these all show that your feelings are more stable, he is also a long choice for you, so you do not need to worry too much because of a few words from more than a year ago.

Plus, you're also in a good state of mind about the relationship. Like you mentioned that "the male god is so disgusted with my good heartache", it also reflects your low PU. You will say this to us outsiders, and I think it is also the same way to treat our boyfriends. Since this girl has not appeared, you do not need to mention this matter to your boyfriend again, so as not to strengthen his impression of this girl again, you can delete this girl, and then observe your boyfriend's reaction.

If the boyfriend doesn't have any reaction, and there is no other channel to pay attention to this girl in secret, then you can relax your mind and get along with him. Even if this girl really comes back to kick the gym one day, you can completely blow up her PU and tell your boyfriend how you feel sorry for your boyfriend.

For example, you can say to your boyfriend: You are obviously so young and so handsome, how can she slander you like this? As soon as I think of her evaluation of you, I feel very sad and aggrieved for the male god. She really doesn't understand your goodness, even if she meets such a good person as a male god, she can abandon you.

But if he finds out that you deleted this girl, he still looks for your theory. That shows that this girl still has a place in his heart, you haven't fully held this boy, if one day she comes back to you will be a big threat, then you have to reconsider the relationship.

In addition, you may as well in your future life, "master Yi to control Yi". Since your boyfriend thinks she's pretty, you might as well learn her strengths. For example, you can find some tutorials to train your eyes to practice well, or you can learn to dress well and make your appearance more flavorful. Especially don't wear the strange T-shirt in the library that looks well on top and leaks a triangular belly underneath.

Other aspects can continue to maintain, I am still very optimistic about your relationship.

Old powder advanced

Question 4

Keywords: love questions

Hello Sister Doll, in the past six months, in your micro-questions and answers, I have really realized many problems that I have never been aware of before. According to the past emotional experience of a series of situations encountered by themselves, it can be said that the points of the core cloth have been stepped on almost over and over again, including emotional black holes, grabbing love that cannot be obtained, bargaining before marriage, and so on.

After thinking about it for a long time, or hoping to have a single-minded boy who really likes me in the future, about improving mv and quitting emotional dependence, I know that I can only rely on my own efforts and time to slowly change, this part of myself to refuel, but there are still places that I don't understand, so with a glimmer of expectation that I may be drawn, I want to ask you the following two questions, if you can answer, I am grateful.

1. How to define what is good for you out of liking and kneeling?

2. What is the difference between really hating you after falling in love and the suspect is the buyer?

1. It's not hard to define whether the other person is "out of liking it to you" or "kneeling.".

First of all, are there any other guys with similar conditions who are willing to do these things he does for you? If there are many boys who have been equal to him before and have given you the same preferential treatment, then the boy's behavior is normal, not exceeding your expectations, that is, normal like you, good to you. If no other boy has ever treated you so well, it is most likely to be on your knees. You have to think about kneeling down, and he wants to do something from you.

Secondly, whether "good for you" or "kneeling" depends on whether he has set aside his dignity. Old fans who are familiar with us all know that there are three treasures on their knees, crying and kneeling and washing their feet. If the guy is good to you, but he still has the bottom line and dignity, he will not do anything for you that damages your self-esteem. But if he completely abandons his dignity to you like his father-in-law treats Lafayette, and flatters you without a bottom line, then he is most likely kneeling down to you in humiliation, and sooner or later one day he will make you return tenfold and a hundredfold.

2. As for the difference between "really disgusting you after falling in love and the suspect is the buyer", the question is also very simple.

If he is a "buyer", then the premise of all his opinions is for the good of the two of you. He will be a long choice for you, and he will also give you the treatment of long choice. For example, he is trying to promote the marriage process, take you to meet parents and relatives and friends, discuss the issue of buying a house and the details of marriage, and be willing to take you on any occasion. If you are not willing to make changes and propose to break up, he will most likely make some concessions and show sincerity to keep you.

But if he really dislikes you, then his pickiness about you is to suppress you, and even if you change the question he asks, he will continue to dislike you in other ways. He will hit your confidence and make you feel like you are a bad person in all directions. Not only that, but he will also make you do some harmful behaviors, such as some girls who are suppressed before marriage and lose their contraceptive rights. In this case, he simply looks down on you, no matter what you do is wrong, it is impossible to choose you for a long time. If you propose to break up, he will only provide you with some emotional value, and will not be able to show real sincerity to keep you.

I hope that my babies will not encounter these bad encounters, if it is really unfortunate to encounter, then the other party will not be a good match, must be as soon as possible away from the stop loss.

Question 5

Keywords: minefields

Hello sister doll, I am only in this period to start a systematic understanding of the theory, about the minefield this I have some doubts.

Does the minefield of male chu female non refer to having a romantic relationship? I'm a chu girl, but when I was a student, I had that kind of hand-holding date. The current boyfriend is the first love, want to ask this is a minefield?

Sometimes I will read everyone's message in the message area, and find that people often ask what the abbreviations such as "male chu female non-chu" or "female single male non-exclusive" are meanings, so today I will use this question to explain it to you uniformly.

First of all, male Chu female non-chu means that the boy is chu male case, the girlfriend is not chu female. The key to its definition is whether there has been any behavior that could theoretically make a woman pregnant in the ancestral environment. Note that we are not talking about modern environments, because there are also contraceptive methods in modern times.

Secondly, the female single male is not the only child, which means that the female student is the only child, and the boy is not the only child, in this case we summarize it as the female only male non-exclusive.

In addition, common minefields include "sister-brother love" and "female wealth and male appearance". "Sister-brother love" means that in the emotional relationship, the woman's age is greater than the man's, in this case, the two sides are disconnected in the rhythm of marriage and childbirth, in terms of economic strength, it is likely that the woman is stronger than the man, so such a relationship to cultivate a positive result, it will be more difficult than the conventional relationship.

And "female wealth male appearance" means that in a relationship, the girl's advantage is wealth, and the boy's advantage is appearance, and this relationship can be achieved because the girl pays for the "exchange" of the boy's face. In this case, the man's choice in the marriage market is not low, and in the future, the male competition will fly together, and the feelings will be very prone to problems.

Stepping on thunder is an endless disaster, want to enter a happy and stable, quiet and good relationship, these thunder is definitely not stepping on the most secure. But if you have encountered such problems and entered the marriage, then you need to pay extra attention to managing the relationship. Usually, you can pay more attention to our micro-Q&A, I have answered many similar questions, you can search for keywords in historical articles to learn from.

Knowledge Planet Quiz

Keyword: emotional black hole

#来源于2022年1月4日在知识星球的问答 #

Beautiful fairy baby teacher, hello, a few years ago someone introduced your public account to me, I read a little knowledge of the teacher, a lot of it is quite reasonable, and what is said is how to actively change that state. But I should just know a little bit of fur, I guess I should be an emotional black hole? Seems like a stone cloth? Or is it the cloth that everyone says? Anyway, I feel as if I don't have any scissors? Don't know where to test?

My troubles now are:

Always controlled by the black hole of their own emotions, they feel that they are not handling well in any relationship. I couldn't calm down. May I ask the doll fairy teacher, how exactly do I have to cultivate so that I don't let myself fall into the black hole? How can you calm yourself down and think about what to do, instead of constantly falling into emotions and losing your rationality.

Watching the little fairies here actively learn to change, I feel like I'm in a mess.

After an acute anxiety attack the year before, after medication, I started psychological counseling this year, as if the road was long, and I continued to oscillate between giving up my life and continuing to live. Teacher, a person who has so much demand for emotional value, how should he or she change himself or herself?

I've tried my luck and maybe won't be able to answer questions, which I appreciate, and it doesn't matter if I don't. I wish you a happy family, a happy life, and all the sisters here find their own happiness.

All people who need too much emotional value are essentially irresponsible, ungrateful, feel that they are special, and have no one else in their eyes.

If you can write a 500-word gratitude journal every day and stick to it for a month, it will be much better. The first few days will be difficult, and the later will be easy.

High Praise Popular Comments:

Little Fairy: After writing for two months, I really feel so happy and lucky every day, starting today to increase the number of words

Little Fairy: I am also such a person, I am through distraction + diary + talk to friends (provided that the real good friend Ha, slowly getting better

Little Fairy: Every day when you only have yourself in your eyes, you will amplify your emotions, think about the universe is so big, we are just a grain of sand in a grain of sand, and our negative emotions are not so important

Little Fairy: Look at the major galaxies in the universe, the earth is just a grain of sand in the dust, why do small humans still demand so much? How good it is to eat, drink, and be happy.

Little Fairy: Physiologically organic anxiety and depression still need to be treated. The others are exercise, and developing hobbies that need to calm you down, such as cooking, handbooks, reading, and anything else you have a little interest in spending time generating flow. If you really have no hobbies, simply put the cloth on the competition, see that there are people outside the sky, every day is very busy, will not be around their own emotions to complain about themselves. If your temper hasn't changed but your competitiveness has improved, you can hold on financially even if you really want to find scissors that provide emotional value