If you change this habit of speaking, it will be easier to enter the heart of the male god

*Title Source: Question 1 of this issue

Get started with new powder

Question 1

(Source of the title of this issue)

Keywords: expression

Hello dear doll sister, I look forward to seeing your public account push every day, thank you for helping me and everyone make a little progress. This letter is a troublesome problem to ask you: I am in love to speak in the way of expression is very lacking, I want to ask the doll sister to click it, not very grateful ~ ~

For example, the boyfriend was busy with business for a few days and did not take the initiative to find me, I called him, many times after the heart will be lost, (he said in advance that the back is not too busy and played in the past to play cards with relatives and friends, but then explained that he is very tired but has to accompany the fight) How to express it will make him not feel wronged and disgusted?

I thought it was OKAY to control my emotions very peacefully and say, "You've been ignoring me a little lately," but I didn't expect him to be very grumpy when he heard this, saying that I was sentimental and accusing him. In fact, I just want to express my feelings reasonably, what misunderstandings I am willing to apologize for what reasonS are I also willing to understand, but is my expression a humble and profane invisible attack, and I do not know it? Is such a situation a lot of negative emotions to complain about?

Sincerely ask the doll sister and friends to click, thank you!

answer

Under normal circumstances, if the girl's MV is high enough, even if the boy is occasionally busy with work, he will contact the other party at the first time when he is idle. Because in the pursuit period and even the love period, it is often boys who chase girls, and they are worried that if they do not pay attention, their girlfriends will be snatched away by other boys, so they do not dare to snub girls for too long.

And only in the case of insufficient MV for girls, boys will expect their girlfriends to be able to "come and go". When they need it, they only pay attention to the girl, and at other times they do their own thing and maintain a relationship at low cost.

In addition to the MV, girls' PU also has an impact on emotional concentration. For example, some boys do need to socialize frequently, and they put most of their minds on work, and they will definitely ignore their girlfriends. Such boys are more heavy, will be more inclined to choose girls with low demand, once the girls take the initiative to contact and disturb their competition, they will become very irritable, feel that they have been asked for emotional value.

In this case, even if you think you have controlled your emotions and expressed themselves peacefully, the other party will be dissatisfied. Because he feels that you have not asked for the capital and reason for emotional value, he will think that you are too greedy and want too much.

In a word, girls with insufficient MV, as well as boys with stronger cloth sex, will be more likely to promote the love pattern you are facing now.

Since you didn't send a picture, we also don't know the specifics of both of you. But at least one thing is certain, and that's that in this relationship, your choice is not high, there is no initiative, and the boyfriend does not care much about you.

And throughout the description, you have always felt that you have no problems and want to ask me for a little support. But what I want to say is that in the relationship, whether there is anything wrong or not is very subjective. People who are not loved, even breathing is wrong. The mentality that you think you have no problem with yourself is already an invisible attack in itself. I suggest you check yourself and see what the options are for both of you. If you are at a low level in your feelings and the other party's cloth is very strong, it is recommended not to expect emotional value.

Also, you have the habit of accusing the other party, this is not what words can help you, or start with the heart technique.

Question 2

Keywords: "Quirks"

Doll sister old fan, watched three or four years to ask questions, beginners.

I am 29/158, 52kg alone with an annual salary of 100,000 in the upper middle

Husband Macau 34/185, 80kg annual salary of 240,000 non-exclusive non-family situation is comparable, so is it high climbing

When I met, I met online, got married for more than two years after two years together, and there was a boy and a half years old with me in Zhongshan, and I usually saw each other every week.

After marriage, I gradually found that my husband's personality is a bit strange, such as reluctance to communicate with my parents, hostility and stubbornness to my parents and some of my normal parenting suggestions, saying that he is a Western personality, not thinking that there is a problem with children drinking cold things, it doesn't matter a little, for this reason I burst pu, crying did not make him change, I said he was not good for the baby.

Maybe my postpartum mv also declined, gained a little fat, and he invested less money in me and more in the baby.

Please ask sister dolls what kind of words to use and how to improve our relationship. Photo code is attached.

I've answered so many micro-questions and answers, and I've rarely seen any girls say that their partner's personality is "quirky.". After all, those who can be called "quirky" usually have to be tested back and forth on the edge of perversion. To the smallest, it is hidden and inconvenient to be known by others; to the larger, it may be on the social news and be accused of spitting.

But when you say it, he just doesn't want to communicate with your parents, "I don't think there's a problem with my child drinking cold things, it doesn't matter a little bit". In my opinion, these are small differences in daily life, husbands and parents have different parenting concepts, you have to say that he has "eccentricities", which is really heavy.

And you are still talking outside the words, habitually invisible attacks on your husband. You say that your parents and your parenting advice are "normal", in fact, it is an allusion that your husband's parenting method is not normal; he thinks that it doesn't matter if the child drinks a little cold stuff, you have to go on the line, saying that he is "not good for the baby", and even crying and bursting the PU, your various words and behaviors are very fussy, in fact, fundamentally speaking, you are not satisfied with this husband, no matter how he does you will not be satisfied.

In fact, your husband has his own opinions on parenting, and is willing to participate in the discussion of parenting methods, and already has the potential to be a good father. As long as you give more guidance, you can harvest a husband who loves and cares for the baby. But you put your husband in opposition to your parents, so it's no wonder he's reluctant to communicate with your parents.

In this case, it is perfectly normal for him to invest less money in you. His willingness to devote himself to his children is already a blessing in disguise. You want to improve the relationship between husband and wife through words, which is obviously unrealistic, and greedy, you think that moving your mouth can make the other party listen to you, which is a kind of self-awareness of your own limited ability. What you need is to fundamentally reverse your mindset.

First of all, we must stop the confrontation with her husband as soon as possible, and we can't button the hat to the other party without moving, saying that he has quirks, is not normal, and is not good for the baby. You should also know that there are many different ways of parenting in this world, as long as the child is acceptable, you should relax and not maintain a state of nervousness at all times.

Moreover, your husband's problem is not as serious as you think, he is the father of your child, and he has the same starting point as you when it comes to taking care of the baby. Everyone makes mistakes in the process of exploring parenting, and you can't guarantee that you are absolutely right, after all, you are not experienced experts.

If the child drinks a little cold thing, you say that the husband has a quirk, and you can't raise the child with any living man. In the end, it is extremely likely that you will go to the step of divorce and need you to raise your baby alone; it is also possible that the child has been raised, but because the mother has been too sensitive and grasped too tightly, various psychological problems have occurred.

In summary, it is recommended that you cherish each other and cherish your partner. In the face of Dad's parenting enthusiasm, you should encourage, not suppress, remember.

Old powder advanced

Question 3

Keyword: borrow money

Dear doll sister, what is the attribute of being borrowed by a boyfriend?

Boyfriend every day does not go to work to play games no money to eat, look for you to borrow 1000 2000 this, and embarrassed not to borrow, what to do, ?

In general, only male scissors will open their mouths to borrow money from girls.

Judging by what your boyfriend has done, he is not afraid of losing the relationship and has not thought about making a long choice for you. And he must feel that you have climbed the ladder and taken advantage of the relationship, so you should pay for it to maintain the relationship. After all, in the equal relationship, if the woman is in the best mate selection period, the boy not only dares not ask for money, but also has to pay money to show his sincerity and take the initiative to maintain the relationship. So your relationship, in itself, is not a normal mode of marriage.

Faced with this situation, I recommend breaking up directly. You know, this boy took the initiative to borrow money from you, and there is also a possibility that he hopes that you will take the initiative to leave. It's just that you don't see it, or don't want his emotional value. But in reality, reluctance is reluctant treatment, even if you want to use money to maintain the emotional value he gives, the probability that you can enter the marriage is also very small, and the money you borrowed will be adrift, or the probability will not be repaid. Of course, the final key is to see how you choose.

Question 4

Keywords: don't want to get divorced

Female 34, 157, 60, engineer annual income: 20W, non-department, have had two emotional experiences, ex-boyfriend and husband and I are the same group of brothers and sisters under the same mentor, know the breakup immediately after the pursuit. She is now married and has a second child.

Male 33, 177, 84, Engineer annual income: 30W, non-division, self-reported only one emotional experience, after the breakup to pursue me, after the woman contacted me said not to break up, just quarrel, I retreated.

Emotional Appeal:

1. Husband's attributes, 2. Not divorced, what should I do next. I am xxx (the little assistant codes off the name) in the big planet, good at cooking, housework and baby, but high-minded, strong, stone cloth no doubt.

But my husband has all three attributes, and I can't be sure. Like to chat, and same-sex chat is good at listening, so that the person who speaks is very comfortable, stone is to take the initiative to take on housework, have a clean habit, have a sense of responsibility for children, cloth sex is like children, to have boys, to the family grumpy, will not coax people, like to use various ways to make money.

Before receiving the certificate, the emotional concentration is very high, soon after the relationship was determined, he took me to see my parents, his father knew that I was an only child from ZJ, worried that I would not be able to cook housework, the future pension pressure was great, he treated me slowly at the moment, he did not go home for me for half a year, until his father softened and apologized to me. Later, I got along with my in-laws and found that I was not as they worried, I was satisfied with me, and I was provided with a full marriage room, but the bride price did not meet my family's expectations, and my husband borrowed money to make up for it.

I two door to door, everything is similar, feel quite sincere into the marriage, after receiving the license I began to do, a good hand of cards to play the sparse, often count him, the divorce hanging on the lips, the concentration of feelings dropped sharply, delaying the decoration and wedding, until pregnant found cheating rich wife, after the showdown my parents felt that I usually talked not to give him a little face, the temper is too bad, the replacement is the same, ask for forgiveness after taking the financial power, and then pay attention to the baby sister to realize her own problems, angry and pu.

After that, he relented, but also often stayed up late to play cards, the husband and wife emotional concentration is low, are family affection, especially for children, I am more frugal, he likes to buy me good, pro-investment and financial power is still there, including his cousin's 500W+ assets are also stored in my name card. After 18 years of job hopping, the competition has increased significantly, before flush, and I did not choose to jump together to prepare for the second child and take care of Dabao.

After the epidemic, he was obviously fat, and he has been multi-idol but not particularly serious (chat history QQ inquiry, but has been at home that day, etc.), all of which are paid for punishment or write a letter of guarantee. After the birth of the second child, it was found that there was still contact with the rich woman, and he had a showdown but did not quarrel, the current maternity leave was at the mother's house, the phone told his father, and he went back to deal with it after a few years, and he was currently bottomless in divorce, and wanted to go back to use the guilt to sign a property division agreement, mention mv, and then talk about divorce later. Ask sister how we should get along in the days to come

As you can see from the first few words of your emotional appeal, you are a person who lacks empathy.

You came up and claimed to be xxx who asked questions on the big planet, and seemed to assume that I should remember you (and your questions). But in fact, there are so many people on the big planet who have asked, how can I remember a person named xxx? From this point of view, you are a self-considered special person, self-centered, take things for granted, plus you say that you have a high spirit and strong, and 99.99% of the attributes are stone cloth.

The second point, you are also a person who has come to the class, according to the reasoning "husband has three attributes" This is a common sense problem, which means that the other party is most likely a cloth cut man, you list it separately as a problem, you can only say that you should not have studied hard. Your husband may be a cloth cutter who evolved from the cloth shear, or he may have been a cut cloth man originally, in short, the two of you now belong to the second official match, not the best state of matching.

Another point is that your words will make everyone around you a little confused. For example, "His father knows that I am an only child from ZJ", what is ZJ? I guess it may mean political jie, if so, I also know similar only children, people can cook, can do housework is also a lot, of course, do not rule out your ZJ may also mean something else. But no matter what, you are always putting on a very special state of yourself.

Then, you mentioned "until his father was soft and apologized to me", "The bride price did not meet expectations, and the husband borrowed money to make up for it", all of which belonged to the kneeling state. That is to say, this is not that you think that the other party is quite sincere in treating you into marriage, but the other party brings the whole family to treat you on your knees, and what you get now will definitely be returned in other ways in the future.

For now, the treatment given to you by this boy is impossible for you to change to a boy. When you are young, there are many stable, single, and long-chosen objects that match you, but you must not look at them. At the time, you thought they were insincere, but in fact you only had five dollars in your hand, but you only wanted to buy that kind of oversized apple, so what you bought must be rotten. It's your own problem, and it's actually the same when you change people.

Finally, I personally think that a girl of one meter and five seven, or do not let yourself weigh 60 kilograms. If you can't do it, ask for yourself, every time you are in a bad mood, you should actually lose weight. You can take a look at how much other girls of the same height are probably weighing, and then compare yourself. There is a saying that a person can't even control his weight, how to master his future life? Every time you want to think about how to get along, you work more on your own weight, and it is likely that when your weight problem is solved, your problem will also be solved a lot.

In fact, many people who come to ask questions like to say that they want to angrily lower the PU, or angrily mention the MV, but there is no growth. It's like a man saying that he is desperately trying to make money, but when he is asked that he still earns 800 a month, there is no way to talk about it. I suggest that you want to improve the baby, we can't put this kind of thing on our lips, and we must use actions to prove ourselves. If you bloom, the butterflies will come.

Question 5

Keywords: whether to break up

Hello doll, I am 24 years old almost 25 this year, working in a state-owned enterprise, junior college, about 5000 welfare benefits, height 163, only daughter, family conditions in general, there is a boyfriend who talked for 3 years, 10 months younger than me, cohabitation, unstable work, about 6000, good performance can be 10,000, height 171

At present, it is almost to the point of talking about marriage, his family will give him a down payment, but it may be just that, because he also has a 4-year-old brother, who was born to his mother and his stepfather, and then he himself has no bad habits, cooking and doing housework belong to him, more tolerant of my bad temper, and the right to speak in the family belongs to me

The current point of entanglement is that my mother does not agree with me marrying him, thinks that he has a younger brother, and his mother wants to do business in his hometown and cannot come to help us with the baby, but his mother has never asked my boyfriend for money, self-sufficiency, after my father worked enough to support his brother, his mother opened his own shop, but his father and his grandmother died of liver cancer, there may be a genetic chance

I really don't know what to do, the relationship is very good, I haven't had much quarrels, and I myself am willing to repay the loan with him, considering that there is no room for him to rise in his work, and whether having a younger brother will drag us down, hoping that the doll will give me a little advice, whether to break up with him because of listening to my mother's words? Thank you

Among the many problems you criticize your boyfriend, I think the biggest problem is that "his father and his grandmother have died of liver cancer, and there may be a genetic chance", and the rest is fine.

You said that your boyfriend "has to give him a down payment at home, but it may be just that", please, it is already very good to pay a down payment. After all, there are many small couples who get married, they are all down payments made by two families together, and it is already rare that your boyfriend can take the down payment alone in the case of his mother's remarriage.

In addition, you also criticize your boyfriend's income, saying that he is "unstable at work, about 6,000, and can reach 10,000 when the performance is good." However, he was just 24 years old and was able to get this level of salary, what are you not satisfied with? And he's only just starting to compete, how on earth do you conclude he doesn't have room to rise? To put it bluntly, if you had such a strategic vision at a young age, would your monthly salary be only about 5,000?

His family can make a down payment, and your income adds up to a lot. After paying off the loan every month, the remaining money is also enough for living expenses. Such a life is already what most ordinary girls yearn for, but you are very dissatisfied.

Not to mention that his mother remarried with him and had a son with the current one, in such a situation, his family can still come up with a down payment to provide marriage support for his son. This shows that his mother is either particularly earning money and has enough financial strength to share with each child, or the PU is extremely low, low enough to let his stepfather share his parenting investment. Either way, it's worth learning.

In fact, after reading your question, I would like to remind you that you have many more problems than your boyfriend. Your temper is very bad, the PU is very high, and you are a "mother", no idea of your own, it is easy to be affected by your mother, and your feelings can be maintained to this day, all relying on the boyfriend to live in a complex family environment from childhood, and exercise the super strong shear.

Now you and your boyfriend's attributes and temperament are just in line, and you know each other in the best mate selection period, so you can be lucky to reach the stage of talking about marriage. If you break up with your boyfriend because of greedy treatment that does not belong to you, the result of choosing a spouse again is more likely than that of the current one. After all, he is very handsome, and he can make money, the family can still give support, and another girl will be happy?

You are now very picky about your boyfriend, and it is likely that you have not considered your real choice in the mate market. The boy in front of you is most likely the best of the suitors around you, otherwise you would not be picky and reluctant at the same time. You have to know one thing, if you don't have a better candidate, then all your pickiness is meaningless, just asking for emotional value. It is recommended that you weigh it up, whether to successfully harvest a happy marriage now, or to ask for emotional value, turn the long choice into a long choice abnormality and then break up?