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Zhongqing Review
Age is not a "plus" for men or a "negative equity" for women.
Do you accept "sibling love"? Have you tried "sibling love"?
Regardless of the value judgment of individuals about "sibling love", data can show the overall attitude perception of society. Recently, marriage registration data released by civil affairs departments in many places show that although men are still 1 to 4 years older than women are still the mainstream, the proportion of "sibling love" continues to rise.
For example, in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province, 19.31% of the total number of marriages between the ages of 1 and 4 in marriage registration in 2022, compared with 19.1% in 2021 and 18.8% in 2020. Looking back earlier, in 2019 and 2018, 17.67% and 17.14% of the total number of women in Hangzhou's marriage registration were more than men. If the statistical caliber is unified to "women and men 1-4 years old", the proportion of "sister-brother love" among newly married people in Hangzhou from 2018 to 2022 will increase year by year.
Image source: Visual China
There is the concept of "sister-brother love", but few people say "brother-sister love", which in itself shows that the age status of marriage "male and female" is the majority, and "female and small" is a minority. In the traditional concept, men tend to choose women who are smaller than themselves, or women are more willing to choose men who are larger than themselves, and there are complex subjective and objective reasons behind this.
For example, in family life and relationships, men traditionally are or want to be in a dominant position. Under the influence of Confucian traditional culture, age itself constitutes a factor of domination and domination, older men are considered "mature and stable", and men in marriage are older than women, so they naturally have more dominance. Age is also an important variable that cannot be ignored when acquiring wealth, power, life experience and other elements of real dominance. Only by reaching a certain age can men gain the desired dominance.
Objectively, the age limit for women is more obvious when it comes to fertility. If childbirth is regarded as one of the purposes of marriage, men have more time to "wait and see", and the age range suitable for women to have children is more limited, which is also the reason why "men are big and women are small" than "women are big and men are small".
However, the above reasons are not set in stone. The proportion of "sibling love" is increasing year by year, and more people can accept "sibling love", which first reflects the increasing awareness of gender equality. In family relationships, the stereotypical pattern of "male domination of women" is constantly broken. In marriage, the status of men and women is becoming more and more equal, and women are not limited to the role of "housewife", and some surpass men in income and social status. Moreover, influenced by modern concepts such as "post-metaphorical culture", age is no longer the embodiment of dominance.
Whether it is "big men and small women", "big women and small men", modern people pay more attention to feelings when choosing marriage partners, and are no longer bound by traditional concepts. Taking 10,000 steps back, even if practical factors still affect people's marriage choices, it is constantly decoupled from the external indicator of age. In other words, age is not a "plus" for men or a "negative asset" for women.
With the advancement of medical technology, the age at which women are allowed to have children safely has also been extended. Therefore, even if childbearing is still an important consideration for many people to get married, the limitation of women's age factors is no longer obvious. Moreover, for "Dink" families who only marry and do not have children, the physiological factors that limit fertility are even more insignificant.
From the analysis of social structure, the phenomenon of "sibling love" may also have the reason of "last resort". Liu Shuang and Liang Haiyan of the School of Sociology and Population of Chinese University summarized in a paper published in Youth Research that in addition to the change in the concept of mate selection, the reasons for "sibling love" also include "the sex ratio of the birth population continues to be high, and there is a large surplus of men." In order to find their partner, they have to look far. "Women choose men who are a few years younger than them as husbands, and the time difference between couples dying may be shortened."
Image source: Visual China
Of course, when observing the phenomenon of "sister-brother love", we cannot ignore that although the proportion of "sister-brother love" continues to rise, what is more generally accepted by society is the age gap such as "female junior holding the BRICS". The civil affairs department's choice of "women and men aged 1-4" as the target of statistics is also due to the consideration of the significance of data statistics. For the greater age difference, society still has a higher acceptance of "men and women". For example, the "father-daughter love" of the man exceeding the woman's 10 years old can be tolerated by many people, while the woman's "mother-child love" that exceeds the man's will inevitably encounter more worldly resistance.
As scholars have analyzed and researched, marriage is the embodiment of social concepts, people always tend to choose the opposite sex as a spouse with similar or similar attributes such as their age, place of residence, education, race, religion, social class, etc., and changes in marriage patterns need to occur over a longer period of time. Judging from the authoritative data provided by the civil affairs department, it is still the mainstream that men are older than women, and combined with the actual national conditions of the total population with more men than women, there is still room for growth in the data of "women and men and small", which also means that there is still a long way to go to break unreasonable traditional concepts and strengthen the protection of women's rights and interests.
Written by Wang Zhong's
Editor/Ren Guanqing
Produced by China Youth Daily · China Youth Network