1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. One in my heart

1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, found another female colleague Amei, she has a strong business ability, if you let her help me do this plan, it will be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

2, the ex-girlfriend was pregnant, crying and crying to find me responsible, I refused, at that time we broke up for 1 year, what is the matter with me. Some time ago she came with a baby in her arms, threw me an appraisal, the child was actually mine, and said that I was responsible, I was completely messy, and instinctively suspected that the appraisal was false. The ex-girlfriend said there were still some things to show me, a pile of materials, villas, luxury cars, and millions of deposits... Forget it, since it's my baby, let's get back together. I was a person with a lot of feelings, and at night I asked her, "To tell you the truth, is the child really mine?" She said, "You guess? "I guess, how do I guess? Do you say you want to secretly do another appraisal?

3, the little uncle went to the barber shop yesterday to cut his hair, and when he entered the door, the barber smiled and said: Hello, how do you cut it? The little uncle flicked his hair and said: Cut it handsomely. At this time, the aunt who thought she was dyeing her hair next to her couldn't see it, and she glanced at the little uncle. Spit out your tongue and say: Boy, look at you look like this, don't be embarrassed about the boss, it's not easy for people to make some money.?

4, today I asked a few girls to go to the bar, the taxi driver is particularly able to nag, along the way he chattered endlessly, annoyed to death. I played in the bar for more than two hours before leaving, but I didn't expect to stop the driver again. As soon as I drank, I talked a lot, and this time it was my turn to finish, and he didn't eat, and then he couldn't help it. Then he said to me, "Big sister, you're a bit wordy." ”

5. One day on the weekend, I was playing mahjong when suddenly a phone call came: "Hey, at home??" Me: "Playing cards, are you okay?" "It's okay, you keep playing, it's okay." I thought to myself, got up violently and pushed the card to leave. The card friend pulled me aside and asked, "For Mao, what's the run??" Me: "Just now my old king next door called and asked me what I was doing, I was scared, I had to hurry home."

6. After getting married, I opened a convenience store near Yu pin Yi Chen. One day after the opening brother, a little Lolita dressed in a brand came to the store to buy something. Little Lori: Uncle, how much is a box of Chinese cigarettes? I bought it for my dad. I smiled and said: Little beauty, a box of Chinese cigarettes 45. Little Lori said pitifully: 40 yuan to sell me? My dad just gave me so much money. I looked at her so cute and said, "Well, okay." Then, I looked at the 50 yuan handed by Little Lori and was confused, I: Little age, why deceive people? Little Lori said grievously: Uncle I am not lying to you, the rest of the money I want to buy lollipops to eat!

7. The family has a 5-year-old second daughter, who loves to receive express delivery. The daughter-in-law bought a flower stand on the Internet, and when the courier was opened, the girlfriend was unhappy: there was no my courier! Me: Yes, yes, yes, the packaged foam was bought for you. The girl's little face suddenly turned cloudy and sunny, and she happily pinched the bubble...

8. Tsinghua University is on vacation, and I drive a rich Man's Mercedes to the beach for a ride. When I got to the beach, a grandpa stopped me and asked me to help take a picture. I nodded, took The Uncle's mobile phone, and took several photos of the old couple. After returning the phone to Uncle, I was just about to leave when Uncle stopped me again. I asked incredulously: Why? Uncle blushed and said: You didn't open your face just now!

9. A female thief came to my house in the middle of the night yesterday to steal, and I caught her squarely. I was going to hit 110, and she asked me without hurrying, "Did you lose anything?" I replied, "No." She immediately showed a fierce light, "You hurry up, you didn't lose, but I lost." My 7-figure diamond was dropped, just so that the police could help me see it. "My brain cramped and I immediately threw her out of my house. Poor me, I searched at home for three days and three nights, but I didn't even see a shadow. Thinking back to the strange smile on the corner of her mouth, I finally knew that I was deeply tricked by her!

10. Usually, the school canteen is too hard to eat, and every weekend I will definitely go to the supermarket to buy a lot of snacks. I didn't expect to meet my brother on the road, and he was hooking up with the girl I loved. I was suddenly angry and said well, everyone don't dig the foot of the wall, this kid dares to rob my woman. I went up and beat him up without saying anything, and afterwards I felt that I didn't do it right, so I gave him everything I bought. Then the girl scolded me a lot while rubbing medicine on him, and the relationship between the two seemed to be closer...

11. Yesterday afternoon, I was teaching my three-year-old little sister to learn to draw, and she drew an ugly person. I asked her: Is it Daddy who painted it? She said: No, how can Dad be so ugly? After saying that, she ran to her parents' room. I was just about to drink water, passing by the door of the room, and heard the voice of the girl: Dad, do you see me drawing like a sister?

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