My eldest sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and my daughter-in-law, afraid that I would peek, drove me out of the house. I thought to myself that my wife didn't trust me too much, am I that kind of person? I came to the park in a huff and sat down in a stone chair

My eldest sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and my daughter-in-law, afraid that I would peek, drove me out of the house. I thought to myself that my wife didn't trust me too much, am I that kind of person? I came to the park in a huff and sat on a stone chair and smoked! Just then a beautiful woman came up and sat down next to me. I also ignored her, smoking a cigarette with my own care, but I didn't expect her to take the initiative to talk to me, why are you so unconscious, sitting here smoking, didn't you see anyone next to you? This beautiful woman is really thick-skinned, I sighed, took out a cigarette and handed it to her and said, OK, ok, give you a cigarette, you take it and smoke it, don't say that I am not conscious of exclusive cigarettes. Unexpectedly, the beauty patted open my cigarette, snorted, and went straight away. This beautiful woman has a really strange temper, and I don't know if I can find a husband in the future, so I shook my head involuntarily and sighed again.

2. After the brother-in-law dropped out of school, he set up a stall at the high-speed rail station and met many foreign friends. Some time ago, a foreign guy said: I want to see chest hair. The brother-in-law was astonished: Here? The young man said: Yes, your chest hair is very beautiful. The brother-in-law thought for a long time, and finally took off his shirt on the street, and the foreign boy ran away in shock. In hindsight, the brother-in-law should have gone to the zoo to see pandas...

3. Borrowed 5,000 yuan, went to the supermarket to buy some things and came to my girlfriend's house to propose to my family. When I went into my girlfriend's house, her mother always treated me coldly and didn't look at me at all, and finally I was humiliated. When my girlfriend came out to send me on the way home, I deliberately said to my girlfriend: "Your mother is right, I will not make a difference, I may not be able to give you happiness in the future, let's break up!" My girlfriend didn't stop crying and said to me: "I didn't expect you to be really self-aware, I was so stupid, I actually had a little doubt before!" ”

4. This evening's self-study, I: "At the same table, you accompany me to the commissary to buy something" at the same table: "I don't want to move!" Me: "Go out with me!" I will repay you for being a cow and a horse in the next life! Table Mate: "Forget it, I don't know if it's a human being in the next life." What if I were a weed? Do you have to eat me when you are a cow and a horse?" ”

5. Dad works at Wanda Group and doesn't come home all year round. I had to live in my aunt's house, and my aunt's temper was more grumpy. Every time I couldn't finish my meal, my aunt would scold me. My uncle, a humorous man, gave me an idea: "When your aunt has finished eating, pour the unfinished food back into the pot." "I did it after listening to it, and my aunt found out at night, and my ass hurt for two days. Later, my uncle gave me an idea: "Don't pour it into the pot, just pour it into the toilet and wash it away!" "I felt that this time I was foolproof, and as a result, after the master who passed the toilet left, I was beaten up again...

6. After work in the evening, it was already past 10 o'clock in the evening, and there was no bus, so I walked home. At the entrance of the community, I saw a girl selling slippers at a roadside stall. I looked very comfortable, I wanted to buy a pair, I wanted to ask twelve pairs of ok? The result is: twenty-one pairs are not sold? As a result, the girl turned around and shouted at the store: Mom, you are coming out, someone has come to the store to do something!

7. Came to Beijing for a honeymoon with his wife, and his wife's girlfriend bought a 60-square-meter house in the first ring and spent 50 million yuan. My wife and I went to visit and the room was small and full of space saving folding design. The three of us sat on the couch and my wife went to the bathroom. I leaned back on the couch, only to see it fall down and become a window. That's right, that's why I'm lying in a window with my wife's girlfriend!

8. On weekends, my mother drove the Maybach to my grandmother's house, and my grandmother told me about the hardships of taking my mother when she was young. Mom is particularly naughty, always don't let Grandma sleep, and when she sleeps, Mom cries... I was stunned to hear it next to me, and my mother was also particularly embarrassed. This is my grandmother's voice turning, saying to me: "Since you were born, I have been much happier, as long as your mother sleeps, you immediately exhale with a mouth, hahaha..." Looking at my mother who stared at me fiercely, I felt that I was going to lose sleep recently.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #