On the weekend, I went to the female colleague's house to play, and as a result, her hand was accidentally broken, so I had to help her wash her clothes, and she was washing, and her husband came back and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Brother, I said I was an hourly worker for you."

On the weekend, I went to the female colleague's house to play, and as a result, her hand was accidentally broken, I had to help her wash her clothes, and she was washing, and her husband came back and asked me what I was doing, and I said: "Brother, I said I was an hourly worker, do you believe?" He looked at me as I was washing my skirt by hand and said, "Lighten up, it's been rubbed up..." After saying that, he sat down in the living room and played a game. I was secretly relieved that I was doing laundry. At noon, the female colleague made a meal and told me to eat, and her husband said, "Okay, so many clothes, don't disturb his work!" "Mad, I've been hungry for a midday bath. At dinner, I was still washing, and I was not given food to eat, I was angry at once, threw my clothes away, and said: "Brother, to tell you the truth, I am not an hourly worker!" Her husband said, "I know, otherwise I can not give you food." "Oh, he won't already know anything, I suddenly feel a little bit of a thief. He said: "It is good for college students to work and study, but we must do what we can, and don't do this in the future..." I said yes.

2. Lie on the couch and watch "Celebrating the Rest of the Year" with your mother. I lifted my legs and pinched my thick calves and said to my mother, "Mom, you said that if I slept tonight, I would be nice to find that the flesh on my calves and stomachs was gone tomorrow morning!" My mother listened to me, continued to watch TV, and said, "If you come together tomorrow morning and you find that your calves have become thinner, and there is a pile of meat by the window, it will not scare you to death!" ”

3. In order to get married, Xiaoming bought a new car some time ago. It turned out that the odor in the car was relatively large, so I bought two dog-shaped activated charcoal purification packs and put them in the back windshield. One day, Xiaoming's future father-in-law, his mother-in-law, sat in the back row and went out to play together. The mother-in-law asked him: Is it so smelly in the car that you don't find something to suck? Xiaoming turned back and said: There are two dogs in the back sucking! After saying that, Xiaoming suddenly felt that there was something wrong with the qi point!

4. The brother-in-law plays games at home, and the sister leans on the brother-in-law and asks the brother-in-law: Do you love me or love games? At that time, I was in the middle of the competition, casually answered the game, and my sister slapped her and left. When the game was over, the brother-in-law pondered for a long time and chased out and found his sister. The brother-in-law said: Why don't you ask me who I love the most? The sister stopped crying, wrapped her brother-in-law and asked movingly: Then who do you love the most? The brother-in-law slapped him in the face: Of course it is a game, if it were not for you, I would not have been able to become a champion!

5. I won 7 million in the lottery, and I became obsessed with live broadcasting, and became my girlfriend after brushing 4 million for a female anchor. After we were together, she didn't work every day and I ate, drank and had fun. After a year of doing so, she and I proposed to break up, and I went home and closed the doors and windows and burned a pot of charcoal. Then I took out the ingredients and grilled pork, beef bones, chicken wings, 5 strings of enoki mushrooms... A whole bunch of good food. Then I took a photo and posted it in the circle of friends, with the caption: A person's day. Sure enough, at noon, my girlfriend sent a message to find me to get back together.

6. My husband and three female colleagues went on a business trip, and in the evening, I didn't want to cook, so I went downstairs to buy a baked cold noodle. The owner said enthusiastically: "Look at you are a beautiful woman, a discount of one dollar." I replied, "Thank you." When he left, he felt a little cold, so he turned around and joked: "Liars will go to hell." The boss stopped his hands and was stunned, and the fear of death on his face was what was going on?

7. A farmer asked his foolish son to deliver seeds to his grandfather, and he said to his son, "This seed is used to be planted in the field." When the son arrived at his grandfather's house, he found no one, so he carried the seeds and waited for his grandfather to return. At this time, all the people on the road saw it and said: You are really stupid, just put the seeds in the ground, you are so stupid, what do you want you to do! The stupid son listened and said busily: Keep it planted in the field.

8. The company's year-end award was issued, our department manager issued a bonus, immediately mentioned a Magotan, yesterday it was raining heavily, I took his ride home. Only to see the female manager get on the car, skillfully insert the key, light the fire to start. Then I pulled out my phone, opened the browser, and adjusted the seat. I thought it was cold and needed to heat up the car before driving, and two minutes passed and I saw her still playing with her phone. I asked her incredulously: Why haven't we left yet? The female supervisor said calmly: Don't worry, I search the Internet for where the brakes are.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #