1. The husband is drunk and returns late, the wife has a plan, wants to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed her husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was born

1. The husband is drunk and late, the wife has a plan, want to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed her husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was angry: What were you doing outside last night, you look at this lipstick mark! Husband looked at it and laughed! Wife: You made a mistake and laughed! Husband: Wife, don't be funny, such a big lipstick mark, who else but you has such a big mouth!

2. The cousin carried his cousin behind his back and borrowed 5,000 yuan from his ex-girlfriend for surgery. The cousin was very angry when she found out, and she packed up her things and ran away from home. As soon as I arrived at the door with the suitcase, I saw my cousin blocking there. The cousin was overjoyed in her heart, but said with a straight face: "Go aside, I won't go with you!" The cousin shook his head with his mouth, and the cousin was happy in her heart, but still said coldly: "You have no right to interfere with my freedom, what are you doing to stop me from making me angry like this?" My cousin shouted with courage, "You go, but you have to leave me the keyboard in your bag!" ”

3. Tonight, I opened the refrigerator to find that the chocolate I bought the previous two days had been eaten without a trace. I called two children with a serious face, because my daughter was more obedient, so I asked my daughter: "Big baby, can you tell me who ate it?" The son quickly said, "Dad, we really haven't eaten, we've all fed the dogs!" The girl muttered, "Hmm, brother is the worst, I'm not a dog..."

4. The chairman gave me two bottles of special Maotai and I immediately took them to honor my father-in-law. The old man was very happy, prepared a good table, saw the good wine could not help but covet the cup, and ended up drunk, lying on the sofa. The son was writing homework on the side, and he couldn't do the problem, and he cried anxiously. When the mother-in-law saw this, she said: You hurry up and call your aunt out to teach you. After the old man heard it, he educated on the side: Baby, you must learn to think independently and study seriously! Can't bother your aunt, your aunt is so big that she is so anxious for you every day, and she can't even find a boyfriend. After the sister-in-law heard this, she never dared to come out of the bedroom.?

5. When my mother was about to go out, I asked me to kill the chickens in the kitchen and then blanch the hair with boiling water! Looking at the chicken that was still struggling with its feet tied, I couldn't get my hands on it. Thinking about it, he took out an egg and put it behind the chicken's ass, and said to my mother, "Keep it, it can still lay eggs." If it weren't for my mother slapping me and scolding: "You've seen a rooster lay eggs..." I would think I'm really not stupid!?

6. My cousin went to college, talked about a boyfriend, and took her boyfriend home after graduation! When she arrived at the mouth of the village, her cousin asked her boyfriend to wait at the mouth of the village, and she first went home to hand over to her family before coming out to pick him up. Just happened to catch up with the relatives, a hilarious cousin actually forgot to take her boyfriend home this stubble. Then the boyfriend waited at the entrance of the village from noon until dark, and then fell asleep in the cowshed....

7. I bought a pair of gold earrings for my mother-in-law, teased my mother-in-law with her mouth closed, took my hand and said: Didn't you say the other day that there was a difference of 20,000 yuan to buy a car, mom added to you, go buy it tomorrow. The wife also rushed over to take out 2,000 yuan from the bag and said to the mother-in-law, the bonus that was just issued, tomorrow I will buy you a new dress. The mother-in-law snatched it from my hand: what clothes to buy, last month you were hospitalized with appendicitis, a few thousand yuan of medicine is still my pad, this when you pay me back the cost of medicine, the rest will be repaid to me next year. The wife muttered: This treatment gap is also too big.

8. The son likes the bald head in the cartoon and does not like two bears. It was snowing today, and the son said, "On this snowy day, I don't know if Bald Qiang has received sauerkraut from his mother?" Did you buy a ticket home? Did Boss Lee's current salary give him? Suddenly, I was worried about him! I said to my son, "Baby, you should still care more about the people around you, such as your father and me." ”

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #