1. Wife: "After being married for more than half a year, why don't you see you engaged in literary creation?" Husband: "I have that talent." Wife: "Before you got married, you didn't write in the province on the 'marriage notice'

1. Wife: "After being married for more than half a year, why don't you see you engaged in literary creation?" Husband: "I have that talent." Wife: "Before getting married, didn't you write about the 'marriage notice' and publish your works in the provincial evening newspaper?" Husband: "I'm referring to the 'marriage notice.'" ”

2, a male colleague of the company newly married, every day to the wife N phone calls, from the morning to work is "wife", "wife" "oh wife", noisy I am full of "wife", and finally the cup happened. Today the manager asked me to go to his office, I pushed open the door and said directly: "Wife, are you looking for me?" ”

3. Male: "I swear to be good to you for the rest of my life!" Female: "Really?" Male: "Hmm! Woman: "Then are you willing to die for me?" Male: "Yes!" The woman slapped her face up: "You are not afraid to swear that you have a hairy use when you die!" "Then turned and left...

4, when I was a child to see a doctor, every time I was very entangled, when measuring body temperature, I would think about a problem, clamping a little tighter or looser, too tight afraid of high temperature to inject, too loose afraid of temperature is too low not to be fever but also to be driven to school, it is really a tangled existence.

5, in the morning, my wife said to me: I dreamed that you cheated last night. Me: How can someone of my own character cheat. Wife: Then you swear. Me: Don't you want to make a fuss about it? Wife: You don't dare to swear, do you really have a ghost in your heart? I was immediately unhappy: right, right, I was cheating, and there were five or six of them, changing every day. Wife: Cut, put on... As far as you look frustrated, can people look at you? It's fake at first glance.

6, a man secretly playing with his mobile phone during the day, and immediately playing WeChat after picking up the child after work. The wife finally broke out and scolded: "Play and play! Play every day! When will you find out that the child is not your own! The man was furious when he heard this: "Hum! I have been skeptical for a long time, and you finally dare to admit it! Wife: "How dare I admit it!" You go to the living room to see, you picked up from kindergarten, is it your son!?

7. Prevent blind dates from dating relatives' apps. Iceland is a country of only 330,000 people, so it's often time to meet relatives, so someone invented a mobile app that goes off when you upload a photo of two people and find out you're relatives.

8, just want to tease the sister-in-law, call her to imitate a well-known website to say to the sister-in-law: Hello, beauty, congratulations on winning the lottery. As a result, the sister-in-law of the second goods replied: I went to the one, the character exploded, I won the lottery again, how much is this time! Less than 50,000 I will not go to get! Hearing this, I was really drunk!

9, a boxing gym is about to open, friends go to visit, everyone points to the door of the "welcome to the next visit", said: too literary, in other words have industry characteristics. On the opening day, everyone found that it was changed to five words: "There is a kind of you come again."

10, the Buddha wanted to lose weight but was embarrassed to say; He is a vegetarian and claims to be there to not kill; He traveled all over the world to exercise, claiming to be to promote the Dharma; He cut meat and fed it to the eagles, and such a cruel trick was used; When he found that Brother Monkey had been eating and drinking in the lake all day, and was still thinner than him, he was angry and pressed Brother Monkey for five hundred years...

11, Xiaoming said: "I stole a bicycle, will I give it to you?" The priest said, "I don't want it, you should return the car to the owner." Xiaoming said, "But he doesn't want it!" "The priest came home to find his bike missing!

12. "Who' It Is?" at. beat. I window. Who is it? at. beat. I window. be. horizon. Bright. target. moonlight. Still is. next door. Widowed. target. Old Zhang. though. I also. Stuffy. Panic. But I. more. Like. Yes. Old Zhang. Only. target. Daughter. man. daily. In me. telescope. lower. Plain red makeup.

13, the old watch said to me today: Yesterday on the Internet and others up, the person is extremely arrogant, the cow coaxed me to report the address, said to come to cut me, when did I instigate? Without saying a word, I sent the address over. I looked surprised: "Okay, when did you become so bullish?" Are you not afraid that he really comes? Old watch: "It's okay, you've been careful lately, I sent your home address!" "I...

14, the elevator was just about to close, ran in a long-haired and fluttering beauty, I gracefully took two steps back, to give the beauty a position, the beauty smiled and turned to press the floor button... Seeing the beauty's long hair, I couldn't help but look down and sniff the beauty's hair, frowning... When the beauty got off the elevator, she came with a bad word: the shoulder was uncomfortable, and the plaster was applied... Damn the elevator, you can see the reflection, lz's gentlemanly demeanor instantly turns into a threatening man...