1, when the brothers went to the bank to withdraw money in the afternoon, a person suddenly came in at the door, covered his face with a black cloth, and said: "Don't move, rob!" "The brother was frightened at that time, and just took twenty thousand yuan

1, when the brothers went to the bank to withdraw money in the afternoon, a person suddenly came in at the door, covered his face with a black cloth, and said: "Don't move, rob!" "The brother was frightened at that time, just took twenty thousand yuan, and the counter has not left yet." Quickly say to the bank girl: "I save twenty thousand!" The girl's head shook like a rattle: "Trouble you go to another counter." ”

2, when I was in college, I remember to eat a new hot pot restaurant near the school with a few roommates, because we were all going for the first time, did not understand the situation, many times before we went to other places to eat hot pot, are in the supermarket to buy a lot of ham sausages and many other meat dishes, who knows this hot pot shop, actually a table a waiter, causing us to bring their own meat dishes in the bag, there is no chance to take it out of the bag!

3) On Christmas Eve, my son said to me, "Daddy, I know where I came from." I smiled and asked my son, "Then you say, where did you come from?" The son replied: "I sent it by Santa Claus, and the children were sent by Santa Claus!" I was surprised: "Why do you think that?" The son was very confident: "If we are not the children sent by Santa Claus, why does he come to give us gifts every Christmas?" I: "... ”

4, two days ago driving a Porsche to wash the car, halfway met a car accident. Curious, I immediately rushed up. But there were too many onlookers to see anything. I had a stroke of genius and shouted: Let go, I am the father of the deceased! Sure enough, passers-by brushed together to give way to a road. I finally saw a dog lying in the middle of the road.....

5, the cousin got married with a house and a car, the bride price spent 300,000 yuan, married a college student who just graduated, the good news came out in a month of marriage, the cousin was pregnant, the child was born seven months later, relatives and friends went to congratulate the cousin on upgrading to be a father, everyone was immersed in joy, the 13-year-old cousin suddenly came to a sentence: "I remember that I was ten months pregnant to give birth to a child, why did the cousin give birth at seven months?" The cousin was embarrassed and explained: "Today's children are precocious, just like you!" ”。

6, the company meets, in the joint study of a program. After the big boss threw out a thought, he held his cheek and frowned, obviously caught up in thinking... However, human beings seem to have a herd mentality... After about ten minutes of silence, the big boss finally spoke: "You all have toothache problems??? ”

7, my girlfriend cried to me, saying that her husband did not return last night, and doubted whether he was green. I gave her an idea, let her keep her husband's old autumn pants, the more torn the better, the new and good are hidden, let him wear them, if this is not the end of the night, then it is with the brothers, don't worry. The girlfriend turned from doubt to realization, smiled and went back! It's another day to take bamboo shoots, which is great

8, when I was in college, my parents didn't care about my love, so I was with my high school classmates!! After graduation he took me to his hometown in the countryside. The neighbors around them warmly came to welcome, many of them were elderly relatives. My boyfriend asked me to say hello to everyone, and I was a little shy and my brain was blank. Finally, I squeezed out a sentence: Hello fellow villagers, this year's harvest is very good!!

9, the sister-in-law always talks to me privately these days, saying that there is a little brother who has been in love with the Internet for three months and wants to meet her. I said to her, I am not against anything you do, but online dating is not reliable, there are many are cheats, not to mention that you are only a senior in high school. She said she just wanted to see it, and she had no choice but to go with her. You will never think of it, since the other party's little brother has even found his parents, his parents I still know, the grass-roots unit. His parents came over to apologize, the little kid didn't understand things, and played with his phone. His son is only nine years old, in the second grade!

10, a friend spent more than 500,000 gifts, married a girl who just finished college, less than 30 days after marriage came out of the good news, female college students are pregnant, seven months later the child was born, relatives and friends have gone to congratulate the cousin to upgrade to be a father, everyone is immersed in joy, the 13-year-old little brother suddenly came a sentence: "I remember being pregnant for ten months to give birth to a child, why did my sister-in-law give birth at seven months?" The female college student was embarrassed and explained: "Today's children are precocious, just like you!"

11, the company has just completed a project, the boss invited guests to dinner. When I arrived at the restaurant, the owner ordered a lot of dishes, and the colleagues were full, and there were still a lot left. So the boss asked the new colleague to eat the dish and the rice, saying don't leave any leftovers. The new colleague came slowly and said: "Boss, is it a work injury to support death?" ”

12. The personnel arranged an intern for our department, and the girl was white and beautiful. I looked good looking and tried my best to pursue her. In order to intersect with her, I started crazy online shopping and then sent them all to the front desk. What toothpaste, toothbrush, even a pair of socks, I will buy online. After two months of unremitting efforts, the little sister at the front desk finally became the girlfriend of the courier brother!

13, just saw a daughter-in-law who bought a rice pit, I want to say that it is for dozens of dollars? Like my daughter-in-law, every time she pays public grain; Subsidize me 100 ocean allowance fee! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for delivering grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150. To be honest, that's 50 more, and the temptation is still quite big....

14, students who did not study are now driving, or workshop workers, or tired dirty work, killing pigs, selling fish, those who read are now executives, civil servants. Profession does not distinguish between noble and lowly, such a thing as a ghost does not believe! There are two people around who have not read books, one monopolizes a piece of the express delivery market with his own dark forces, and the other uses his high-end sales cao as a big boss. The rest of the people were attacked by the knowledge reduction and pressed down on the diaosi class.