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1. Last month, my brother-in-law changed into an Audi R8 and gave me the Porsche he had driven for three years. While driving, he found 300,000 yuan in the co-pilot's glove box. I

author:Funny is also an art

1. Last month my brother-in-law changed to an Audi R8 and gave me a Porsche that he had driven for three years. While driving, he found 300,000 yuan in the co-pilot's glove box. I think the brother-in-law must have forgotten to take it, and quickly called him, who knew that he told me: This money is also for me! The brother-in-law said: Brother, you gave me the money in front of my daughter-in-law, and I said that I sold you the old car for 300,000 yuan, so that she would not think that I gave you the old car for free. I was touched at that time, if it weren't for my brother-in-law playing a game now, I would really think that this dream was real!

2. My wife and I were very gentle and kind before we got married, but after we got married, everything changed. Now my wife's temper is particularly grumpy, and she scolds me and my son. Once his son's grades slipped, and he was scolded by his wife after returning home from school. I went to comfort my son: you have to study hard, and you must surpass your father in the future. The son was stunned for a moment, and the weak came to a sentence: I don't dare to guarantee anything else, but it is still very certain to find a wife who is better than you in the future.

3. Seeing that it was a little rainy in the sky, I didn't have an umbrella with me, so I drove the Ferrari at home to class. As I passed the library, I saw a girl sneaking her umbrella into the trash can, and when I was wondering, a boy came out of the library. The sister said to him, "I don't have an umbrella, can we both hold the same umbrella?" "How can this kind of thing be tolerated, I immediately got out of the car and went to the trash can to take out the umbrella." Turning to his sister, he said: "It is not easy for your family to earn money, how to throw an umbrella away?" ”

4. The brother once went to his girlfriend's house, and the father-in-law was particularly enthusiastic and called the brother-in-law and sister-in-law back. It made me nervous. After dinner, she accompanied me shopping. I asked her, "What do your family members say about me?" She said, "They all say you're a pretty good person, handsome, upright, thoughtful, polite..." I felt good in my heart, and asked, "They didn't say I looked ugly, did they?" "How come, my mother said it's good to see the habit!"

5. The younger brother has no living expenses, call his mother to ask for living expenses, and his mother calmly says: "The money has been called for you, twenty thousand!" The younger brother put down the phone, and his heart was very excited: "This is the mother!" Go to the cash machine to check, the balance is only 1000, immediately call the mother and ask: "No, ah, why is there only 1000 on the card?" The mother said: "1000 is not much, save some flowers, nothing to hang ah!" Nine tubes! ”

6. The wife has always wanted to dye her hair, Yan Steam does not agree, feels unhealthy, yesterday afternoon, the wife accompanied Yan Steam to cut her hair, the boss pushed!! Recommend Ka Yan steaming is not willing. As a result, the wife steamed the card with her face alive and dead, and she also wanted to steam two thousand to go in, and there was no way to do it. As a result, I just woke up this morning, and my wife said that she was going to dye her hair. Yan Steaming couldn't say for sure, she actually said: What are the thousands of pieces in Kari left for? You cut it once a month for twenty bucks and it will last for ten years! Don't dye your hair to stay with you in the coffin? forehead...... This set of roads!

7. Yesterday the whole Futukang power outage, the electrician is not here, it should be that the fuse is broken. I know how to point electricity, the boss asked me to repair, a sister next to the mobile phone illuminated. While the company people were quietly waiting, the daughter-in-law called and began to ask for warmth. Then I suddenly asked: Why is it so quiet? At this time, the girl spoke: Brother is fast, my hands are sore!

8. I have heard of the joint grasp of the assets of husband and wife, and my girlfriend is. She and her husband each have the password to half of their pay card. Curiously, I asked: What is your reason for doing this? The girlfriend explained with a smile: Separating the passwords will prevent one of them from spending money indiscriminately! Saying that, she put all the money she had withdrawn into her wallet and gave her husband twenty dollars.

9. On the weekend, I watched the TV series "Female Shizi" at home, and I felt very warm to see the male protagonist breading the female protagonist from behind, so I also wanted to experience this feeling. I thought of a way to deliberately argue with my girlfriend, who was angry and left. I chased after her from behind and didn't let go of her as she struggled. Then she would surely forgive me and then turn around and kiss me. While I was fantasizing, two security guards pushed me down!

10. I have a programmer buddy who can't find a partner, and I arrange a blind date for him. The programmer and the proud woman went on a blind date, and the proud woman said: "If you have 1 million, I am your girlfriend, if you have 10 million, I am your wife." Programmer: "What if it's only 10,000?" Proud Woman: "Then we are just friends now!" Programmer: "I don't make friends with you. The proud woman said why, and the programmer laughed: "I really have 10,000!" ”

#Funny Paragraph##Laugh Dead Don't Pay# #搞笑 #

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