1． Me: "Is it illegal to give money to women?" Police: "Not illegal. Me: "Is it illegal to date a woman?" Policeman: "Not illegal! Me: "Is it illegal not to know a woman's name?" alarm

1． Me: "Is it illegal to give money to women?" Police: "Not illegal. Me: "Is it illegal to date a woman?" Policeman: "Not illegal! Me: "Is it illegal not to know a woman's name?" Police: "Not illegal. I growled, "Then I did these things together, why did you arrest me?"

2． My dad gave me 6 million, bought 2 stores, and collected 80,000 yuan in rent in one month. I bought another Magotan, and I spent 6 million. Later, I found a company to work, more than 3,000 a month, 5 insurance and 1 gold. Now play soy sauce every day, go out on vacation, friends around me say I have no ambition, nibble Daddy! I live in a tangle every day, and tangled up in such a day is not suitable for me! alas!!! It's time to collect rent again.

3． Last month, a new flight attendant moved in next door to my house, and because of the frequent help, we were familiar with each other. Last night she knocked on my door after drinking too much and said to me, "I like you, are you my boyfriend?" I said, "I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend." The stewardess cried and said to me, "I don't believe it, you must have lied to me." "I pulled out my phone and asked her to look at my girlfriend's picture. The girl looked at her face reflected in the dark mobile phone screen and laughed. I took a look at my phone and said, "I'm sorry, the lock screen is up!" ”。。。。。

4． Practicing boxing in the boxing gym, the relationship with the master was very good, and this night we both wandered around the street. As I walked, the master suddenly stared at a girl and stopped, and I was feeling strange. The master suddenly blushed and said: I have finally found this mother-in-law, when I was in school, this guy often beat Lao Tzu to crouch in the corner of the wall and cry, and today I can finally take revenge! After saying that, despite my persuasion, he went up and dragged the girl's hair to a small alley. After the noise came, the master ran over with a gust of wind and shouted: Run, I still can't kill her, and the front teeth are all killed for me!

5． My brother was a little insensitive to arithmetic when he was a child, and no matter how grandpa taught him, he just couldn't remember. Grandpa patted the little grandson and sighed and said, "I don't know how to teach, I don't understand such a simple arithmetic, and when I grow up, I am not blamed by my daughter-in-law' pit?" The brother replied with tears in his eyes: "I can herd sheep," Grandpa said, "shepherding sheep?" You know if the sheep are lost, it's also a matter of arithmetic. The brother looked at his grandfather with a dissatisfied face: "Can't I keep one?" ”

6． The cousin is a live executive who drives a Bentley every day and lives in a villa with a sea view, but he has never found a girlfriend. The main reason was that he was too short, and he went around looking for medicine to increase his height. Once in a Baojian shop, I saw that there was a heightening medicine, and my cousin was immediately moved! The hostess said that the sky was crazy, and the cousin immediately spent 30,000 yuan to buy a treatment. As a result, a year has passed, the medicine has no effect, the cousin went to the pharmacy theory. The lady boss asked him, "Do you think you can still grow taller?" The cousin said despondently, "No." Lady boss: "You know you can't do it, can you blame me?" ”

7. When the young woman came home and found that she had forgotten the key, she called the lock unlocker.

The unlocking master said: 200 yuan to open, do not hurt the door, the door opened.

Miaoling woman said: Two minutes of things, charge me 200 yuan?

Therefore, the Miaoling woman gave the lock unlocker 20 yuan.

The unlocker said: Free, no money. Then he locked the door and left.

8. My brother-in-law is 40 years old, very rich, and a billionaire! The last time I had a drink with my brother-in-law, I asked my brother-in-law: "Brother-in-law, you don't go to work every day, why are you so rich?" The brother-in-law said: "Alas, it was in 2007, when I was just a small contractor, taking more than a dozen people to work at the Shanghai construction site, and then things on the construction site gradually became familiar." I couldn't wait to ask, "And then you're fighting?" The brother-in-law slapped me on the back of the head and said: "Don't interject, then I took over a construction site, after the matter was done, the developer had no money to settle the bill, the house was cheap at that time, the developer with the black heart mortgaged 20 suites in Pudong, Shanghai, and then the house price rose sharply, I had money!" ”

9. At dinner that night, my friend said to her daughter-in-law, "After eating, wash my clothes." The daughter-in-law said angrily: Why, let me do all the work in the family? Friends say: Who don't you do? The daughter-in-law said angrily: Didn't you say that I was your little angel before you got married? The friend nodded and said, "Yes, angel angel, that is, the angel of heaven summons!"

10. When I went to the hospital today, I was in front of a student. The student said: Doctor, I feel that I am recent, and my sleep is a little abnormal. The doctor asked: What are the symptoms of this? The student said: I wake up at eight o'clock every day now. I heard the doctor say in particular helplessly: At eight o'clock in the morning, it is time to wake up! girl......

#Funny paragraph # #搞笑 #