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Reader's letter: Hello Teacher Kaizi, I am a 25-year-old boy, some time ago in my world suddenly appeared a girl I think is very good, I want to go to her contact information, but also chat with her very happy, but I feel that my current living environment is not suitable for starting a relationship.
Some time ago, she had a small misunderstanding about me because of my life and work, and my contact with her was intermittent.
But I think she is still willing to keep in touch with me, we are not willing to give up this fate, but the working environment in life does not allow us to be together now.
So please ask the teacher, how should I continue to maintain this feeling in the form of friendship and maintain a long-term friendship.
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Kai Zi replied: Hello, listening to you say so, I feel that you are quite selfish.
You can't fall in love with this girl, don't take the initiative to contact, just send a greeting intermittently, and you hope to maintain a good friendship with her for a long time.
I don't know if you ever thought about the question, why is this girl trying to be friends with you?
What are you willing to do for the relationship and what are you willing to give to maintain a friendship with her?
You don't want to give up the fate with her, indicating that this girl's conditions are very attractive to you in all aspects, so what about you? What did you have to attract this girl?
If you can't do anything now, don't take the initiative to contact, can't give the girl a future, have nothing, and continue to get along with this girl in the name of friends, this is to put it bluntly, don't you want to leave a spare tire for yourself?
Meaning: I have a fate with you, but I don't want to fall in love with you now, but I don't want to let you go, you better wait by my side, and when I want to fall in love with you one day, I can find you at any time.
You also have to say that this girl has some small misunderstandings about you because of life and work reasons, is it really that she has a misunderstanding of you?
Why did you let her have a misunderstanding of you, and what is this misunderstanding?
Is it misunderstanding that you hurt her, that you cheated on her, isn't that all the truth?
So I don't think she has any misconceptions about you, she just sees through your selfishness.
I want to say to all the girls that if you meet a boy who has talked to you and wants to be friends with you, you must have a golden eye and see through the real intention behind his friendship.
Many of them are really just using you as a spare tire in the name of friends or sisters, and you must stay away.
If the girl also meets such a man, that is, does not give you commitment and future, and wants to hold you, you can privately believe me, I will help you judge whether he is sincere or false, and tell you whether the relationship should continue.
Reader's letter: Hello Kaige, talked to my husband for a year and got married, gave birth to a son, the son is already one year old, in pregnancy to take the baby I am my own housewife, the mother-in-law cares about making money and does not care, the money is not out.
My husband also wants to go to work, but he spent all his money on a month's salary, and he didn't leave it for the children and me at all, I could only find my mother-in-law to ask for it, and for a long time, their family was also very annoyed, and their mother-in-law couldn't help.
If I hadn't been reluctant to have children, I would have divorced a long time ago, I just can't work with children now, I won't have a job with children, and I won't have money without a job.
Even if I survive until divorce, the child will not necessarily be given to me, what should I do, I am reluctant to have my children?
Kai Zi replied: Hello girl, it seems that your life is indeed very unfortunate, met a bad man, now even the living expenses of the child are problems, I can also understand your current situation, it is really very difficult.
You have to ask yourself, why is this situation?
It's because there's something wrong with your assessment of your life.
I don't know if you were a housewife after marriage or if you gave up your job before marriage, but it's clear that you didn't plan yourself well.
You have no income, no savings, and no mother-in-law to support you in the back, which is equivalent to putting your life completely on another person.
And your vision is still very bad, choose a selfish man, the wife does not care, your own son does not care.
To put it more cruelly, you choose to give up your job to have children without any money, and you have no way back for yourself.
But you said that your husband spent all the money himself and didn't leave money for the children with you, which confused me.
If a man doesn't even care about his wife and children, especially his newborn children, then does the man still have humanity?
If this man doesn't even have the most basic humanity, then why didn't you see it when you were in a relationship with him for a year before you got married?
Are you having a poor vision, or are you overstating?
You said that if you didn't want to have children, you would have divorced a long time ago, but I think maybe this is just your casual talk, you will not divorce at all.
Because compared to the fact that you need to support yourself after the divorce, although you are living badly now, you can at least legitimately reach out for money.
You may think I'm not saying this well, but isn't that the case?
For you, you have reached such an embarrassing situation, since you can ask your mother-in-law for money, can't you also entrust your children to your mother-in-law?
You say that if you want to work, you can't bring children, you don't have a job with children, how many women carry their children out to work, or think of doing some part-time work at home after the children sleep, why can others, you can't?
There's only one reason you can't do it, and you don't want to work so hard.
There is a saying that women can't eat the hardships of work, they have to eat the hardships of life. That's where you are now.
You asked me what to do, I really can't give you any good way, I think the only option for you at the moment is to feel like sending your children to your in-laws to find a job by yourself.
Don't think that the mother-in-law will not be kind to the child and so on, you yourself have not treated the child well, you are not responsible for the child, and sending the child to the in-laws is not necessarily worse than your own.
After being sent to the in-laws' house, quickly find a job, solve your own survival problems first, at least ensure that you no longer ask for money from others with your palms facing up.
As for whether to divorce or not, it is not too late to wait until you have the confidence.
I don't know what advice you will give her when you see this case today? What do you think she should do? Feel free to leave your suggestions and comments in the comments section.
I sincerely hope that all girls will not have such a passive and sad marriage, we must carefully consider it, make a correct assessment of our partners and ourselves before entering marriage, which is responsible for yourself and for your future children.
If you don't know how to judge whether a man is suitable for marriage, you can privately message me and I will help you judge and avoid you making the wrong choice and falling into a bad life.