Author | Kai Zi
Source | Kai Zi (ID:kaikaivoice)
Tomorrow is the New Year.
Open the "Inbox" to read the reader's letter, and it is expected that most of the content is related to "far marriage".
Below, is a letter from reader Wang Yue.
I wish you a Happy New Year in advance.
When I typed this sentence, I was staying in a hotel not far from my mother's house, preparing to go back to my in-laws' house tomorrow for the New Year.
You must find it strange when you see this.
I am a distant married girl, counting the time, married to the northeast side of the more than three years, in these three years, because the distance is too far, coupled with not enough time, I did not go back to my mother's house for a year.
This year, the company just had an early holiday, and the holiday was also long, so I discussed it with my husband and planned to go back to my mother's house for the Spring Festival.
After making this decision, I didn't talk to anyone but my husband, including my parents and brother.
The reason for choosing confidentiality is to surprise them.
After all, every year Chinese New Year's Eve night, they would be on the other end of the phone, asking me how I was doing in the northeast, asking me when I had time to come home and see.
I think they should be thinking of me.
......
After two days on the train, with a large bag and a small bag, I finally returned to my hometown.
Before officially entering the house, I imagined many times what would happen to my parents and brother when they saw me.
Will my mother hug me the first time?
Will Dad not be able to help but blush his eyes?
Will my brother pull me to ask long and short questions?
I thought about many possibilities, but I didn't expect that the expression on their faces when they saw me would be confused, surprised, and embarrassed.
The story that followed was pretty simple.
Mom reacted first, asking my dad and brother to help me with my luggage, and then carefully told me:
"Daughter, why did you come back suddenly, you see you didn't tell us in advance, this room is not ready, your brother's desk is still on the shelf."
It turned out that as early as the first year of the marriage and leaving home, this home no longer had its own place.
We are not so much family as we are guests of blood.
After rejecting the offer that "Dad sleeps in the living room, my mother and I sleep in the master bedroom", I dragged my luggage on the way to the hotel, and at that moment I deeply felt why there were always people who said that girls who were married far away did not have a home.
Oh, yes.
Home doesn't leave you.
Where can you go?
After reading this reader's letter, saying that it is not moved, it must be false.
Every year at this time, I can receive many letters like this, and even so, I can still feel the difficulty of marrying a girl from between the lines every time I read it.
We all know that marriage is a hardship.
And marrying far away is even more bitter, but it is difficult to be a good person.
Some time ago, I saw such a piece of news.
At the Guizhou High-speed Railway South Station, the beautiful bride, under the gaze of relatives and friends, alone with flowers, dragged her luggage into the waiting room, took the high-speed rail across thousands of miles, and married far away to another country.
Asked why the high-speed rail is used as a wedding car, the girl replied:
"Because of the epidemic, simplifying the wedding procedure, and the road is too far to drive to pick up is not safe, do your own high-speed rail safe, convenient and fast, in fact, the ceremony is not so important, two people together is happy."
Hearing the bride's answer, netizens blessed her while sighing:
"The mountains and seas you love are flat."
Words are very beautiful, but the life of marrying far away is not so beautiful.
It is difficult to marry far away, and it is difficult from the beginning.
Presumably, you should have seen a lot of scenes of sending their daughters to marriage and their parents crying into tears, right?
Wang Huijun from Tongxu, Kaifeng, was about to marry in Jiaozuowen County, and before her daughter was about to leave in the car, her mother choked and said to her:
"My mother's daughter is growing up, her daughter is going to start a family, and I wish my daughter a happy and peaceful life."
It's a mother's wish.
This is also the wish of the mother of the world.
However, once such a wish is encountered with a distant marriage, it is more difficult to realize than to ascend to heaven.
Marrying far away is like a curtain that covers the eyes of you and your parents.
The road to marriage is blurred.
Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate, no one knows.
You can only gamble a lot.
Marrying away is a big gamble.
Since it is a gamble, it will be won or lost.
If you win, be happy for a lifetime.
If you lose, you lose your life.
The loss here has a native family, such as the experience of reader Wang Yue.
There are also newborn families, and this is the biggest concern of most girls who marry far away, as well as the parents of girls.
Late at night a few days ago, a video went viral online.
In the video, a man brutally beats his wife in front of a child.
It is worth mentioning that during this process, the mother of the suspected man was also present, but she did not stop the atrocities, as if she were accustomed to it.
Afterwards, according to people familiar with the matter, the man usually only promised, and there was no problem in his performance in the unit: "I didn't expect such scum behind my back." ”
And the reason why the man beat his wife violently is also quite outrageous, just because the two had a verbal altercation over trivial matters...
Look, is this home?
It's hell here.
No wonder, a netizen commented on the relevant topic:
"That's why I'm determined not to let my daughter marry far away, and if this really happens, I'll have to take a plane to help my daughter."
Indeed.
As the insider said, the man usually behaves normally, who knows the two faces of others before and after, and when he returns home, he will abuse his wife, even in front of his children?
Look at the man's family, indifferent to the atrocities, more indifferent than outsiders. In this way, what parent can guarantee that their daughter who is far away will not meet such a man and will not marry into such a family?
The answer is that no parent can.
Anderson said in "The Stranger in the Little Town":
"Although it is strong and brave, that is the way, and we must dare to do anything, dare to be brave, dare to be loved."
This sentence is very similar to the inner monologue of a girl who is far away from marriage.
Before marrying far away, they must have summoned up courage many times before they finally gained the courage to decide to marry far away.
They know very well that there is nothing wrong with marrying far away, it is just very risky.
But for the sake of love, they are willing.
So, to take this sentence, I just want to say to the husbands of girls who are far away:
Be sure to be kind to these girls who are married away and re-establish a family with you.
Like one of my readers.
In her letter, she told me that before she married, she was happy and uneasy like many girls. But after marrying far away, she never felt regret once, only full of peace of mind.
The one who gave her peace of mind was the husband who was married to the reader.
As the saying goes, the reader's husband is a man with ten fingers that does not touch the spring water. But a year after the reader was married, the husband became a "regular" in the kitchen.
I remember when I was just married, readers often secretly cried in the middle of the night because they missed their parents and missed their hometown dishes.
She thought she was well hidden, but she didn't know that her sadness was all remembered by her husband. Those sleepless nights, there was him, accompanying her to secretly insomnia.
Such days lasted for more than a month.
Until the husband told the reader that he was going to go on a business trip for a month. And the truth is, it's an excuse — the husband, on a business trip, went to the reader's parents' house for more than a month and learned how to cook for more than a month.
The reader remembers very well that it happened to be her birthday. The moment she returned home, she was greeted by her husband, whom she had not seen for a long time, and a table of hometown dishes, all of which she loved to eat.
She cried and asked why.
The husband smiled and replied:
"Compared with what you did for me, this is what it is."
That's nice.
It's great to marry the guy who makes you sure you're going to win.
There is such a sentence on the Internet,
"All beings are bitter, only your strawberry flavor."
Marrying far away is very bitter.
But fortunately, these bitternesses can be diluted little by little by that "strawberry lollipop".
Click "Watching" and hope that every girl who has made up her mind to marry far away will get a "strawberry lollipop".
A lifetime of sweetness, never to suffer again.
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