I asked my wife, "My sister-in-law has been living in our house for a month, why don't you see her leaving?" The wife said angrily: "I don't blame you, who called you a five-star chef,

I asked my wife, "My sister-in-law has been living in our house for a month, why don't you see her leaving?" The wife said angrily: "I don't blame you, who called you a five-star chef, you managed my sister's stomach!" I said, "I don't want to!" Or start cooking tomorrow! Then she can't get used to eating and it's time to go! The wife said, "I don't know much about cooking!" I said, "It won't be better, so she's less likely to eat the food you cook and go faster!" The wife nodded! Fast forward a week and my sister-in-law is gone! My wife can cook too! My sister-in-law called me: "Brother-in-law, in order to make my sister know how to cook, I am very cooperative with you!" I came according to your plan!" Don't forget to buy me a computer! ”

2. The old man wants to go for a physical examination, and the sister-in-law drives downstairs early in the morning to wait for him! When the old man came downstairs, he saw that the sister-in-law was fine and was holding a mirror to look left and right. The old man quipped from the side, "Are you looking at the demon mirror?" The little sister-in-law thought to herself, female goblins are generally beautiful and dancing. She asked the old man, "What kind of demon am I?" The old man: "Bucket waist!" ”

3. The father-in-law earned 5 million yuan in three months, so he went to the 4S store and planned to withdraw a Maserati president in full. When the formalities were done, the father-in-law felt bored and smoked a Chinese cigarette. The sales manager came over to my father-in-law and said, "Sir, smoking is not allowed here!" The father-in-law quickly stood up and took 2 steps forward and asked, "What about here?" Sales Manager: "Not either!" The father-in-law took a few more steps and asked, "Is this okay?" Sales Manager: "Still not!" The father-in-law walked to the door of the 4S store: "Can't it be here?" The sales manager was furious: "You're all done smoking, and you ask me what I'm doing!" ”

4. When I was a child, my brothers and sisters played hide-and-seek together, and at that time I secretly said that even hiding under the window could not escape the clutches of my sisters. So I gritted my teeth and hid in the stove pit at home (at that time, the stove pit in the countryside was more powerful to climb into) My sister looked for a meeting, couldn't find it and ran out to play. It was winter, and I thought it was quite warm in the stove and I fell asleep in a daze!! When my dad took the firewood and lit it in the evening to prepare to cook, I climbed out with a big black face, which scared my dad into jumping back and rolling on the ground in a circle...

5. I went out to work before I finished high school, and today my brother was particularly excited to receive a salary, so I went to the bath to relax in the evening. When I entered the door, I went down to the bath first, and after a while, I felt that I was soaking very well, so I picked up a bath towel and rubbed it for a while. After getting comfortable, two beautiful women suddenly swam over and slapped me in the face. Then I looked at the girls next to me and looked at me with vicious eyes. I'm wronged to death, don't you just take a shower, what's wrong?

6. I borrowed 200,000 mesh bags with 360 IOUs, bought a second-hand Porsche Cayenne, and started running Didi cars. At eight o'clock in the evening, at the door of Tomson Yipin, a big sister in a white dress was pulled. After getting in the car, she handed me a jackfruit. I couldn't refuse and took a bite. She asked me: Is it delicious? I said: Delicious! She also said: Of course it is delicious, I loved jackfruit when I was alive! I was so frightened that I almost drove the car into the ditch! The woman continued: "Since the birth of my child, I have not loved to eat.

7. This afternoon, my girlfriend accidentally bumped her head, and I looked a little blue. Then, she just sat on the ground and cried, and I coaxed for a while. I took out her favorite chocolate and said to her, "Don't cry, give you chocolate." The girl immediately stopped crying, but when she ate half of it. He ran over to me and said, "Daddy, it hurts so much just now, can I cry and eat it again?"

8. When I was a senior in college, I accidentally got pregnant with the professor's child, but he had a family and couldn't marry me. But I was reluctant to have children, so I chose to drop out of school and go back to the countryside to marry an honest man. After giving birth, I was in a serious shape, so I bought a red dress online to wear. I went out in my new dress, and everyone who saw me said it was festive and beautiful. My nephew came home from school, and after seeing me, Yu Yu said: "Little aunt, how do you dress like a tomato?"

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #

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