1. A person took a plane, asked the flight attendant for a bottle of water, how can not wait, is angry, heard someone behind him shouting: "Lao Tzu wants XO?" Why don't you come yet, find a draw on you guys! ”

1. A person took a plane and asked the flight attendant for a bottle of water, how could he not wait, and when he was angry, he heard someone behind him shouting: "What about the XO that Lao Tzu wants?" Why don't you come yet, find a draw on you guys! He thought to himself, "Who's so good?" "Looking back, it turned out to be a parrot. I saw the flight attendant running over and saying, "I'm sorry, I'll come right away." The man thought to himself, "It turns out that the flight attendant is afraid of yokozuna." So he stood up and shouted at the flight attendant, "You don't want to live, when will you bring the mineral water I want?" The flight attendant said, "Please wait." After a while, the flight attendant walked over with a big man, and the flight attendant pointed out: "That's him!" Without saying a word, the big man threw this man out of the plane. This person is a little regretful, while falling down and thinking, I am a big master, not only the parrot face is big... The more he thought about it, the more he drew fire. At this time, he suddenly saw that the parrot had also been thrown down, and the parrot passed by him and asked, "Will you fly?" The man said, "How can I fly?" The parrot said, "Since you can't fly, are you still so cattle?"

2. My son was a little nervous these days, so I took him to the doctor. The doctor saw that the child was still small in order not to make the child so nervous, so he pointed to his ear and teased him: "Little friend, is this your nose?" The son looked at the doctor with a strange face, then turned to me very seriously and said, "Mom, we need to change a doctor." This doctor can't even figure out his nose and ears and how to see me? ”

3. The man had a big fight because he was dissatisfied with his wife selling his game account. The man directly smashed his BMW in anger, and his wife also angrily broke the Apple X. As a result, the next day the two were reconciled, and the friend asked the man: Why did you smash the car? The man surnamed Fen said: I wanted to change a Maybach earlier, but my wife just wouldn't. My wife's girlfriend asked her: Why did you smash your phone. The wife smiled and said: I have long wanted to change a Huawei p40, my husband is too expensive.

4. Go to the market to buy fruit, think about comparing goods, run several stores, and finally choose one, although a little expensive, but it will definitely be sweeter, besides, the boss is beautiful, how can it deceive people. Go back to cut open a taste, sour and astringent, online review of half a day of information, and finally concluded: expensive things are not necessarily good, long beautiful beauty will be easier to deceive people!

5. It's about to be a New Year's Day party, and everyone in the class has to sing a song and can't help but prepare. When the literary and artistic committee counted songs, he asked me to share the table; what do you sing? Table Mate: Wait a minute. The literary and art committee members looked at him, turned around, and left. After a while, he turned around again and asked his table mates: Do you want to sing anything? The table mate wondered: Didn't I just say that? Who knew that the literary and art committee member said angrily: You said, you told me to wait for a minute, I have waited for a minute, you still don't say, what do you really want! Play me!

6. My mom was idle and opened a supermarket in front of the community. Since the advent of scan code payments, my mom's method of giving me pocket money every month has changed. Just call my mom and say, "Hey, Mom, I don't have any money to spend." Then my mom would immediately change my QR code. In the next two days, my Alipay will continue to have prompts Alipay to arrive 5 yuan, Alipay to the account of 20 yuan... 68 yuan... 120 yuan.

7. After dinner in the evening, I walked in the neighborhood, and when I walked to the park, I found a small couple arguing and breaking up. The boy was gone, and the girl sat on a stool and silently shed tears. I saw the opportunity to come as a man and I was going to show my spirit out. So I rushed over and sat behind her, silently lit the last Red Tower Mountain in my bag, so people in the past were pointing at me, and it felt good to have a girlfriend!

8. Just got a big order, commission 100,000, so I took a leave of absence with my boss to travel for a week and then I came back and went to work at the company. I found that Xiao Li's face sitting next to me was injured, and so was his arm. I asked, "Brother, what's wrong with you?" Xiao Li: "Don't mention it, I was in a car accident." I was horrified and asked, "What's going on?" I don't think this scratch is like a car accident? Xiao Li was suddenly very excited and said, "Didn't I say the day before yesterday that I wanted to buy a Bentley?" My wife just caught me like this! ”

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #