1, the sister-in-law used to work as a waiter in a KTV, earning almost 10,000 a day, and then married an honest person, the two lived a plain life?, but last week, the aunt

1, the sister-in-law used to be a waiter in a KTV, earning almost 10,000 a day, and then married an honest person, the two lived a plain life?, but last week, the sister-in-law's husband was not rescued in a car accident, and the sister-in-law was sad. At the funeral, I whispered to her: How much does the insurance pay?? The sister-in-law replied: At that time, I did not approve of it, and I did not let him buy it. I asked again: How much family property did he leave for you? The sister-in-law cried: Two hundred and thirty million. Two hundred million is: remembrance, memories.? Thirty million: don't take good care of the children, don't take good care of the elderly, don't remarry.

2. The brother-in-law called me to Quanjude for dinner, and he asked for two bottles of Maotai. We were almost drunk, and I suddenly said: I want to divorce your sister. The brother-in-law looked surprised and asked: Why? I said: Because your sister hasn't said a word to me in half a year. The brother-in-law took a deep breath of his cigarette, and then said lightly: You have to think twice, such a woman is difficult to find.

3, the lover saved the goddess to go to dinner, she refused, back home I bored to play the game, suddenly received a V letter from the goddess. I immediately quit the game, and then I saw the goddess send a note: 1314. I was immediately excited, isn't 1314 the meaning of a lifetime? So I sent it excitedly: 3388. That is, the meaning of long and long, who knows that there is no echo over there. Five minutes later, the goddess called: Why do you have nothing to send such a meaty message? I just received Taobao's verification code and sent it wrong. "

4. My aunt won 16 million yuan in a two-color bid, and then ran to Country Garden to buy a new house. One day there was something wrong with the circuit at home, and my aunt called out to a master electrician to fix it. Half an hour later, the electrician came to check and said: the maintenance fee is 400 yuan! The aunt gritted her teeth and nodded, so the electrician carefully opened the window, and the cat crawled outside the window to repair it, the twelfth floor! The aunt asked: Master, the floor is so high, are you afraid? The electrician said: Of course I am afraid, so it is more expensive to pay! My aunt said: I'm afraid, your price is cheaper for me! Otherwise I'm going to close the window.

5. When I was a doctoral student in college, there was a girl in our dormitory who was a super rich second generation, and I had a good relationship with her. After one night of self-study, I accompanied her to the bank to withdraw money, and she only took 30,000 yuan at that time, but the ATM vomited 50,000 yuan. She looked up at the monitor, counted 30,000 yuan in Prada's bag, and put the rest on the cabinet and left!? After fifteen days or so, I received a call from the head of the legal department of the bank, saying that I had gone to the court to sue her!? The roommate replied: Do you believe that I asked my father to spend 5 million yuan to buy your bank? And then take your position offload? I didn't take the money!? Don't slander me!?

6, a friend opened a clothing store, the opening day, I and my girlfriend went to give her a show. My girlfriend spoke a little straight, and we picked out a few pieces of clothing to leave. The friend sent us to the door of the store, and the girlfriend suddenly patted her head and said, "I almost forgot, sister, I remember, is there still a lack of WiFi in your shop?" Otherwise, when no guests come, how boring it is for you to sit here alone! ”

7, yesterday went to the Xiaomi store to buy a Bluetooth headset, on the way back met the aunt of the community. She was taking her grandson, and the little one looked at my Bluetooth headset curiously and didn't follow me away. I can only say hello: Auntie, how old is your grandson? The eldest aunt wiped her grandson's head and said: He is three years old this year, please ask your uncle how he is! The kid looked up at me and suddenly let out a fart. As a result, the lighter I had put in my trouser pocket suddenly exploded, and the child was directly frightened to cry. My aunt immediately said to me: You are such a big person, how can you still be like a child, putting such a loud fart! I:......

8, my wife is pregnant, this day I specially asked her to go to the hospital to do B ultrasound. When the results came out, the doctor looked at me with sympathetic eyes and made me feel strange. Doctor: "Not yours. The wife's face turned green at once, and she trembled and said, "Can you see this?" I gave my wife a mouthful and sobbed so angrily that the corners of her mouth twitched. The wife covered her face and said, "Husband, I'm sorry, I know I'm wrong." "Then the doctor said, this list is yours."

9. When the first year of high school began, the Chinese teacher took a lesson for his brother. As soon as he entered the teacher, he said, "Hello fellow students, I will introduce myself first." Please open the page of the textbook and find the deputy editor-in-chief, that is my name. "Then everyone was stunned, I didn't expect that we were such a broken attached to hide a dragon and a crouching tiger!" Then he smiled mysteriously and said, "Can't imagine? We both have the same name! ”

10, my wife likes to shop, I always blame her teacher for buying things! On this day my wife's shopping rebate call, I said: "Are you sure it's not the website but the phone?" The wife vowed: "You can make a refund after you receive the goods online, but there are not many returns." I dialed the phone with the mentality of trying it out, only to hear a male voice on the other side of the phone asking, "Hey, are you going to collect waste?" ”

11, I am a girlfriend, since childhood is very picky eater, willful. When I was in school, I went out to drink and smoke with the little in the school, so that every time I grew tall, it was only 1 meter 5. Girlfriend legs are short, but especially mind others say that her legs are short, one day, she solemnly announced: Whoever says that my legs are short again, I am angry. Just listen to a buddy come quietly: Your pants are so long.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #