Teacher Tu Lei said: "A mother who truly loves her children will think more about each other's feelings, encounter problems, and blame her own son. ”
In life, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem that many people have encountered, and it seems that it is difficult to find a solution.
In the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is a topic called "yuezi revenge".
The so-called "confinement feud" is that when the daughter-in-law sits in confinement, the tension with the mother-in-law causes emotions, which are different from the contradictions in ordinary life and often affect a long time.
A 65-year-old mother-in-law regretted that the "moon feud" in the first half of my daughter-in-law's life was the robbery of the second half of my life.
What exactly did she go through? Reading her story may give you some inspiration.
What is the root cause of the contradiction of confinement
Aunt Wang has a son and a daughter, the daughter is married, and when the son becomes a family, her greatest desire is to quickly hold the grandson.
After the daughter-in-law became pregnant, she proposed to find a sister-in-law, but Aunt Wang vetoed it, she said to her son: "What do you do with that money, I raised 2 children, you are all healthy, have rich experience, and free, do not look for me to find anyone?" ”
After the daughter-in-law gave birth to the child, Aunt Wang came to her son's house for the first time and brought a large bag of local specialties, saying that they were all the grains grown by the family themselves, and it was safe to eat.
When the child was just born, the daughter-in-law's milk did not come down, and proposed to find a prolactinator, and the mother-in-law objected: "Which mother will have no milk, it is usually not good to eat, the body is too thin, let me help you regulate it." ”
I don't know where the mother-in-law found the home remedies, stewed pig's trotters with soy milk, and has not yet put salt, let the daughter-in-law drink it, the daughter-in-law smells enough, the mother-in-law stands next to it, and even coaxes with threats: "Can you watch the child hungry?" Even for the sake of the children, you have to drink. ”
As a result, the daughter-in-law drank it at night and had a fever, and the doctor said after examination: "Nonsense, just had a cesarean section, need a light diet, wait for the gastrointestinal conditioning, in order to eat high-nutrient protein food." ”
The mother-in-law skimmed her lips at the side: "I don't know, I gave birth to two children are smooth births, and now young people are squeamish, they are afraid of pain, thinking that I don't know." ”
The daughter-in-law was so angry that tears swirled in her eyes, if it were not for her weakness, she really wanted to have a good fight with her mother-in-law, would a squeamish person be willing to have a child?
She couldn't understand, they were all women, and her mother-in-law had also suffered from the pain of giving birth to a child, so why couldn't she understand herself.
When I got home, the mother-in-law was even more excessive, taking the rag that wiped the table to wash the dishes, the cabbage was poured into the pot without washing, the daughter-in-law was embarrassed to say, so she let the husband remind the mother-in-law, who knew that the mother-in-law did not care at all: "Not dry and clean, eating is not sick, I have always been like this, and I have not seen anyone in the family who is unwell." ”
The daughter-in-law thought to herself, forget it, don't worry about it with her mother-in-law, anyway, she doesn't eat much, and after the month, she will send her mother-in-law away.
As a result, the mother-in-law began to rummage through her wardrobe at home, calling it a beautiful help to clean it up, and when the daughter-in-law found that a gold bracelet in her drawer was missing, the mother-in-law refused to admit that she had seen it.
The gold bracelet is a pair sent by the sister-in-law when the daughter-in-law gets married, and she is deliberately let her put it away, saying that the texture is relatively pure, she has always put it together, how can there be only one less?
Seeing that the mother-in-law did not admit it, the daughter-in-law no longer mentioned it, but just asked the mother-in-law not to help her clean up the wardrobe anymore, and the two had a gap in their hearts.
Not accepting reality is a common trait of many mothers-in-law
What is even more difficult for the daughter-in-law to accept is that confinement is a three-volt day, and the weather is sweltering.
She wanted to turn on the air conditioner, but the mother-in-law stopped her, saying that blowing the air conditioner was not good for the child and the pregnant woman, and it was very expensive, so she used a fan to fan the wind.
The mother-in-law brought a fan, but she only fanned the child, not the daughter-in-law at all, and when the son came home from work, she complained that she had fanned the wind for her daughter-in-law for a day, and her arms were tired.
The husband blames his wife for not understanding things, but he does not know that his wife's heart has long been angry, she can accept the general living conditions, but she can't stand the inconsistency of the mother-in-law.
The daughter-in-law suggested that the mother-in-law go home early, saying that she wanted her mother to come over, and the mother-in-law cried at her son: "What is the use of me raising you?" With a daughter-in-law who forgot her mother, don't forget, when you bought a house, I also gave some money, but now you have to be filial to your mother-in-law and drive me away. ”
The son is embarrassed, can only advise the wife to endure, the mother is not easy, the young man is humble to give way, the daughter-in-law also agreed.
If it is only a conflict of life, the daughter-in-law will not be counted, but the mother-in-law wants to interfere with her work, and seeing that she is reading books to prepare for work, she sneers: "A woman does not have a son, she is not a competent daughter-in-law, what class, it is most important to seize the birth of a second child." ”
The mother-in-law's attitude completely touched the daughter-in-law's reverse scales, she and the mother-in-law quarreled when they did not agree, and when the husband came home, the mother-in-law stopped at the door to complain, every time the husband advised her to be tolerant, the daughter-in-law was depressed, and she wanted to cry at every turn.
But the mother-in-law did not know where she was wrong, still complained about her daughter-in-law when she called, and finally one day, the daughter-in-law's emotions broke out, yelling at her husband: "Do you want your mother or me and the child, you choose yourself." ”
Since then, the daughter-in-law's "moon feud" has fallen, and at a family gathering, the daughter-in-law saw the gold bracelet on the hand of the eldest sister, understood everything, directly let the eldest sister take it off, let the mother-in-law have no face, and the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is more acute, and usually no longer communicates.
On the surface, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is because of some details, but in fact, the mother-in-law does not accept reality.
She is accustomed to being the hostess of the family, and she does not realize that she goes to the daughter-in-law's house, and the daughter-in-law is the hostess of the small family, and she can help herself, but she must have the boundaries of identity, and know how to respect the daughter-in-law in words and deeds.
Keeping a little distance is the antidote to the contradictions of many mothers-in-law and daughter-in-law
Someone on the Internet asked: "Is there an antidote to the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?" ”
Below was a high praise reply: "Keep a little distance." ”
Distance can produce beauty and maintain a relationship with each other.
Netizen @ Xiaomeimei said: "The mother-in-law is not a mother, there is no need to treat each other as a mother, the two respect each other as guests, is the most suitable way to get along with me." ”
The focus of many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts is trying to change others.
For example, the mother-in-law hopes that the daughter-in-law will take more care of the family, and the daughter-in-law hopes that the mother-in-law can understand her feelings more, and the starting point of each other is good, but when it comes to action, because of more emotions, it is easy to become a complaint.
Once there is a contradiction in the relationship during the month, it is difficult to repair, because most women only have one child, and this is the most vulnerable time in life, it is very necessary to get the care of the family, if hurt, it may be remembered for a lifetime.
The mother-in-law in the text is Aunt Wang, and she regrets that she did not take good care of her daughter-in-law's confinement, resulting in a small number of times her daughter-in-law and granddaughter returning home, and she is not embarrassed to visit and solve the thoughts of her granddaughter.
And she is getting older, since the death of her wife, she is very eager to live in her son's house, but the daughter-in-law said: "When the mother-in-law comes, I will live in the unit dormitory, I can't afford to provoke, I can hide." ”
The son also advised his mother to live well in his hometown and not to make it too difficult for him, and Aunt Wang realized that a good relationship with her daughter-in-law was the key to happiness in her later years.
But it was too late, she missed a good opportunity to establish a good mother-in-law relationship, and she also let herself have to face the loneliness of her later life.
In life, Aunt Wang's experience is not an isolated case, in fact, looking back, what bad thoughts can the mother-in-law have? It's just that I want my children to live well, but because I can't control my hands and mouth, I can't make the home that could have been happy become less peaceful.
Today's topic: Do you think that "confinement feud" will affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?