The name on the real estate deed is a test, the couples pass, love can blossom and blossom, smoothly step into the palace of marriage, but if it does not pass, the two people may go their separate ways.
In the book "Why Home Hurts", it is written that when getting married, the criterion for making choices is not passion, let alone love and love, but often a sense of security, not only when elders make choices for their children, but also when young people make their own choices.
Women value the name on the property deed for the sake of security, after all, living in a house without their own name, they have to risk being scolded for not saying "This is my house, it has nothing to do with you, get out". Once the marriage goes wrong, the woman's interests may be damaged.
When a woman gets married, pay attention to it, don't marry a person who is calculating you.
The man's parents use their brains on the real estate deed to protect their rights and interests and that of their son, but also for the sake of security. For ordinary families, buying a house requires their parents' decades of savings, and they are naturally afraid that decades of hard-earned money will be lost because of problems in their children's marriages.
Defensiveness is indispensable, both parties need a sense of security, however, marriage also needs concessions, and coordination and communication are needed.
Recently, Sun Ye, who is about to get married, has fallen into a dilemma because of the house, parents and girlfriends need to feel safe, do not give in to each other, he is sandwiched in the middle, can be described as a dilemma.
01. When I was in high school, my parents used the rest of their money to buy a house, and now they have paid off the loan;
Sun Ye is 26 years old, in love with his girlfriend Xiaohui for two years, plans to get married, and the initial planning time is set at the time of the Spring Festival.
When it comes to the requirements for marriage, Xiao Hui, like many girls, is very concerned about the bride price and the marriage room.
"The bride price was set at 88,000, her parents agreed, and as for the marriage room, my family has a ready-made one."
Sun Ye is a local, his family is relatively good, his parents make a living doing business, and they make some money. When my son was in high school, his parents used the rest of their money to buy another house with a far-reaching vision. With the development of recent years, the living facilities around the house are more and more complete, coupled with the key primary schools nearby, the house price has also risen rapidly, and it is estimated that it is about 3 million.
"When the parents bought it, it was a loan, and it has been paid off so far that they can move in directly with their bags." The title deed was written with the names of my parents, not even my name. ”
Sun Ye took his girlfriend to see the house, due to the surrounding living facilities, developed transportation, children to go to school is also convenient, the girlfriend agreed to use this house as a marriage room.
"At the beginning, my girlfriend did not mention the matter of adding the name of the real estate deed, but after she went back to tell her parents, her parents stopped doing it, thinking that my family was not authentic, and in defense of his daughter, she gave us a marriage room for the little two, but she did not even have my name, which was obviously calculating."
02. My parents refused to transfer the house to me and my girlfriend, my girlfriend wanted to feel safe, I was one of the first two big;
"Since it is the marriage room of their young couple, you don't even have your son's name, what does it mean?" My daughter married and lived here as if she were a guest, and when you were happy, stay with her for as long as she got, and when she was unhappy, take the house back, and my daughter would have nowhere to go. ”
Under the persuasion of her parents, the girlfriend also thought that it was inappropriate to do so, and poured bitter water with Sun Ye.
"What if I had a fight with your parents, and your parents said that this is my house, and they would get out of the house without listening to me?"
"My parents also plan to add a sum of money, decorate us, and marry some furniture, home appliances and so on." The house is a fixed asset, put here, will not depreciate, but the home appliances and furniture are used, it is not valuable, in case of marriage problems, I do not lose a lot? ”
"Don't say that I thought of divorce before I was married, and your parents won't even write your name, aren't you worried about the future?"
"Living here, I feel like a tenant, I just don't have to pay rent, but I don't have a score for how long I live, and I don't feel safe."
However, Sun Ye's parents were very resolute, not to mention transferring the house to their son and future daughter-in-law, and even transferring the house to their son.
"We have one son of yours, and if you live in peace, our property will be yours sooner or later, so don't worry about it now."
"This house is worth 3 million, not a small amount, and I have to keep a god." My ugly words are in the front, I am not going to give it to you, but I am also leaving a way back. If you live a good life, honor us, it will all be yours in the future, if you don't honor, you won't get a share of this house, I sold the pension, and I can ask someone to take care of me! ”
Sun Ye felt difficult at both ends: "Parents do not want to transfer 3 million marriage rooms, girlfriends want to feel safe, they all have a reason, but just got up, I have to solve ah!" ”
03. Trying to reconcile, I found a mutually acceptable solution;
Sun Ye's parents refused to compromise, and even said that if Xiao Hui could not accept it, they would not marry, and they would not bet on the house they had worked so hard to get.
Xiao Hui's parents also refused to compromise, and the situation was very stiff, and even complained that they would not let their daughter marry. Xiao Hui felt very painful, Sun Ye could not sit still, went to Xiao Hui, and asked Xiao Hui a question: "Are you willing to carry the mortgage with me?" ”
Sun Ye thought of a way, that is, not to set this house, ask both parents to make a down payment, help them buy a house, write their names, repay the loan by them, decorate the money, the man, and the woman prepare some furniture and appliances. If Xiaohui's parents are still not satisfied, they can raise the dowry money.
"Only in this way, we will have to carry the mortgage, the pressure will be greater, and the quality of life after marriage will decline." However, you can rest assured that my parents will help with the baby, and I will not let you be wronged. ”
Xiao Hui listened to Sun Ye's arrangement, understood that Sun Ye had been working hard for their marriage, and accepted Sun Ye's plan.
Sun Ye and Xiao Hui persuaded their parents separately, and in the end, the two families reached an agreement.
"The bride price was given to 120,000, and the two families made a down payment, and chose a house for us, and we paid the mortgage." As for the house, my parents kept it for the elderly, as well as for our children. Young people can't always think of nibbling on their parents, they have to rely on themselves. ”
After the negotiation was completed, the two people finalized the wedding date and began to prepare for the marriage.
04. Whether it's a man or a woman, the person you like has a conflict with your parents, and you have to work hard to solve it.
Liu Liu, the screenwriter of "Double Sided Glue", once said: "In the trivial life of chicken feathers, what women care about most is often not how to resolve the contradiction itself, but in the process of resolving the contradiction, whether the husband is standing behind him." ”
Whether it's a man or a woman, someone you like has a conflict with your parents, and you have to work on it. Marriage is your business, marriage is about your quality of life, you have to work hard for it.
People's hearts are all flesh, it is normal to favor their own children, it is normal to be wary of others, and it is difficult to ask the in-laws or fathers-in-law to consider problems from the perspective of the daughter-in-law or son-in-law. It is also difficult for them to listen to the opinions of their children's spouses, not to be suspicious and not to think blindly. Therefore, your parents must be taken care of by yourself.
In the TV series "Divorce Lawyer", there is a line: "I am serious and work hard, so that when I stand next to the person I love, whether he is rich or has nothing, I can open my hands and embrace him calmly." I don't have to feel that he is rich, and we will not be discouraged if he is poor. That's what it's like for women to work hard. ”
Security is a word that women often mention, in fact, women want security, can not just ask men and in-laws, women's greatest sense of security, is their own giving.
What the in-laws should give you, you must, you can't easily hand yourself over, so as not to be looked down upon. However, don't worry about what doesn't belong to you, and rely on your own hands to fight for the future.
END.
Today's topic: Do you think That Sun Ye's parents are too unwilling to transfer the marriage house? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.