Girls who ask their in-laws for a sense of security are really pathetic.
Recently, I received a private message from a fan who told me that she and her boyfriend were getting married, but the attitude of the other party made her very angry.
According to local customs, the man needs to pay a dowry of 60,000 to 80,000 yuan to the woman's family.
On this point, the man's family is not ambiguous, they are willing to put together a dowry of 88,000, for a good fortune.
But when it comes to the real estate deed and the name, their family is on its own.
The boyfriend's house was bought with a mortgage, with a down payment of 1.5 million, a decoration of 200,000, about 80,000 yuan for furniture and appliances, and the rest of the loan needs to be repaid in 10 years.
Boyfriend monthly income of 12,000, mortgage 4000, but also do not need her to worry, but she wants a sense of security, after all, the boyfriend has a house and a car and a high income, if one day they part ways, the boyfriend can turn around and marry another, and she can only get out of the house.
She told her boyfriend what she thought, but the boyfriend insisted on his idea: adding a name can be, you must get a down payment of 500,000, after all, their family's money is not blown by the wind.
Because of this matter, they have been insisting, so far, the boyfriend's family has not compromised.
I asked her two questions.
First, have your parents thought about giving you a mortgage, or a dowry that would be enough to be used as a way out?
Second, the boyfriend's family spent 1.78 million yuan for the house, how many of which were paid by the in-laws?
She answered one by one, the original family conditions are ordinary, there is an older brother in the family, and her parents do not intend to give her anything.
The down payment and decoration fee of the house are paid by the future in-laws, and the boyfriend only pays for the purchase of furniture and appliances.
I replied, "Your biological parents are not willing to give you a sense of security, how dare you ask the in-laws who met Pingshui with a straight face?" ”
She argued: "I asked my boyfriend to ask for it, not my in-laws." ”
I asked her, "Can your boyfriend afford a house and a car?" How long does it take for a man in his 20s to buy a house and a car? ”
Most of the assets of men in life are allocated by their parents, and it is not so much asking men to feel secure, but directly asking their in-laws to feel safe.
But your parents don't care about you, so why do other people's parents give you a sense of security?
This is a very common norm in real life, and many girls never understand it.
Some girls are called a sense of security
01Security = Money
Logically, security should be a feeling that comes from the heart, and it comes from the spiritual level.
But the sense of security in many women's population is not so, they are only referring to money.
The bride price, the house, the car is what they think of as a sense of security, as long as the material conditions are enough, there is a sense of security.
If women are seeking such a sense of security, they don't have to insist on getting married.
After all, material conditions can be obtained through one's own efforts, and the sense of security in marriage should be loyalty and responsibility.
Wanting money and not wanting to work your own, this kind of behavior of using marriage as a chip is very undesirable.
02 Money = the savings of two generations of in-laws
Many women always say lightly when talking about security: You are not even willing to give me a sense of security, why should I marry you?
Sorry, girl, your so-called sense of security is too heavy for the in-laws.
A house, a car is the savings of two generations of in-laws.
Don't you feel unreasonable to let your in-laws hollow out their savings for two generations to satisfy your so-called sense of security?
You know, your biological parents have never thought about your future, so why would you kidnap someone else?
Some girls' reasons for "security" are clumsy excuses
A girl can't ask her in-laws for money for no reason, they must find some reason.
First, the childbirth warning
In the minds of many girls, children are not born for themselves, but for their in-laws.
In other words, they have always used themselves as reproductive tools.
In their words, the child is her husband's, her mother-in-law's, or not hers.
Not only that, but her husband and in-laws also have to be grateful to her.
Having your own children and asking others for payment is really not something that ordinary people can do.
But many women have been doing this kind of thing, and they don't know how their future children will treat themselves when they learn about it.
Women are giving birth to children for themselves, children are calling you mothers, and the future is to provide for you.
Your husband earns money to support the family, you have children with children, this is the responsibility of your husband and wife, no matter what, you have no reason to kidnap your in-laws.
Not to mention that women need children more than men, because women live longer and need the care of children more in their later years.
Your husband leaves you early, and if you don't have children, you can only live a lonely and miserable life.
Second, serve the whole family for warning
Many girls say that after marrying, they will serve each other's families and strictly put themselves in the position of nanny.
But the reality is that the daughter-in-law who serves an old and young family does not exist at all, and most families are busy with mother-in-law.
After all, the son and daughter-in-law have to go to work, which round is the daughter-in-law to serve the whole family?
Even if the daughter-in-law is a housewife, the in-laws are healthy and can take care of themselves, and they do not need their daughters-in-law to serve.
What's more, in most cases, the mother-in-law will help the daughter-in-law to do housework and children.
Woman, you can't even count on yourself, you still want to count on others?
Stop making bad excuses to ask people for security, which serve no other purpose than to be offensive.
In the case of a man with a house, a car and a deposit, he can find a partner with the same conditions, and he will not be held hostage by you, because there are thousands of women in the world.
Survival of the fittest is the law of nature, and if a person wants to live well, he must first have his own ability, not his own nothing, but he is always eager to get something from others.
You know, no one has a reason to help the poor.
A woman who doesn't even care about your parents will expect others to give you love and security.
In this world, the most reliable person is only yourself.
No one but yourself is obligated to give you a sense of security and to live a happy life.
The weak kidnap men, and the strong rely on themselves.
What kind of woman you are, what kind of life you will live in the future.