"He kept harassing me, torturing me, and there was really nothing he could do about it"
The woman who said this was named Xiao Xia, and she had a good face, but her eyes were full of exhaustion and anxiety. She told the mediator about the bitterness of this time, and was frequently harassed by a man, which has seriously affected her normal life.
Xiaoxia divorced, living with two children, in April this year she and her girlfriend in the town to open a women's beauty shop, originally the business was doing well, but not long ago a man frequently came to the store to harass, resulting in normal business.
Xiaoxia said that the man came to the store without speaking, sat directly on the sofa with Erlang's legs crossed, smoking a cigarette and brushing the video, and the smoke in the store scared away many customers.
The girlfriend was not accustomed to it, and told the man that men were not allowed to enter the store, and before the girlfriend could say two words, the man looked like he was going to beat someone.
What is even more excessive is that this man is often drunk and looking for trouble, Xiaoxia has a car in his name, and the man forcibly pulled out the key and drove away.
Who is this arrogant man? What kind of grudges and entanglements does he have with Xiaoxia?
01
Xiaoxia led the mediator to the man's residence, a large piece of farmland sits in a lonely cement house, the house is dark and chaotic, the man is not surprised by Xiaoxia's arrival at all, looked up and continued to eat instant noodles.
The mediator asked the man if he knew Xiaoxia, and the man said indifferently, "You ask her, she knows everything."
Xiaoxia told the mediator that the man was her ex-husband Jianjun, and the two had been divorced for more than a year. When the two were married, they were married twice, the man took a son, she took the daughter, the two formed a family and gave birth to a boy, after living together for 13 years due to emotional discord in the divorce last year, she is currently living alone with a pair of children.
Jianjun's face is old, dressed in earthy style, and from the outside, Xiaoxia, who is fashionable and beautiful, is obviously not in a style.
Jianjun did not admit to harassing his ex-wife, saying that he just went to her shop to rest and did not use his hands and feet, which was just the ex-wife's disgust with the words he was looking for.
Why do you frequently look for an ex-wife after divorce? Jianjun said that when he did not agree to divorce, it was Xiaoxia who resolutely did not want to leave with him, he did not want the family to be separated, and he wanted to remarry Xiaoxia for the sake of his children.
Faced with the redemption of her ex-husband, Xiaoxia directly refused, saying that she did not want to repeat the previous pain, and only wanted to live quietly with her two children.
02
Xiaoxia told the mediator that her ex-husband said all day that he had no money and was reluctant to spend money on her and her children, but he was willing to charge a large amount of money to brush gifts for the beauty anchor, and brushed thousands of dollars at once.
Jianjun did not deny this, but he said that these were stimulated by Xiao Xia. When Xiaoxia proposed a divorce, no matter how he kept it, it was useless, and the mood fell to the bottom, so he went to the beauty live broadcast room to relieve his boredom, looking at the gentle and lovely beauty anchor in the live broadcast room, he couldn't help but wave his hand widely, and he rewarded more than five thousand at a time, becoming a big brother in the list.
The flattered beauty anchor became active and enthusiastic, sending sweet words in private messages. Jianjun forgot the unhappiness of divorce, felt unprecedented ease and sense of accomplishment, brushed gifts more diligently, and did not feel sorry for money, brushed more than seven thousand in more than twenty days, which is the income of an old farmer for half a year.
The day when the dream finally woke up, Jianjun realized that he had been deceived and put it away in time, and no longer went to the live broadcast room to brush gifts.
The tip of the female anchor happened after Xiaoxia filed for divorce, what is the real reason why Xiaoxia is reluctant to live with Jianjun?
03
"Don't ask the child, I have to pay back his money, what does it mean to pay back the money between husband and wife" Xiaoxia said, she lived with Jianjun for 13 years and lived a hard life, but Jianjun never treated her as a family, especially in the economic division.
Every time she asked Jianjun for money, Jianjun had to pinch the day to ask her to pay back the money, Xiaoxia thought that since they were husband and wife, the money would be spent together, and if you asked for money, you would not have to pay it back.
In 2017, the two have not divorced, Xiaoxia wants to open a beauty shop in the town, not enough money to ask Jianjun to take a sum of money, but it did not take long, Jianjun let her pay back the money, which made Xiaoxia very cold. She believes that husbands and wives are originally the same forest birds, and husbands should support their wives to start a business.
Jianjun thinks that Xiaoxia does not understand his difficulties and only has money in his eyes. Before 2019, life was very hard, he worked outside for a month only more than 2,000, when he opened a shop for Xiaoxia, he borrowed it from relatives and friends, told others the date of repayment, and only asked Xiaoxia for this money when the day came.
Recalling the various unpleasantnesses in the thirteen-year marriage, Xiaoxia seemed very painful, and her ex-husband's preoccupied calculations on money made her despair, "Even if he earns 100,000 a month, I don't want to live with him."
04
Jianjun is very reluctant about this relationship, and he hopes that Xiaoxia will give him another chance. Xiaoxia said that she had given her ex-husband a chance after the divorce, but he was still the same old way, he had a clear division of money, and if he wanted money, he had to pay it back, which made her feel cold and no longer had hope.
Jianjun said that Xiaoxia had given him a chance and promised to go home to live, but in fact, the number of times he went home was countless, and he preferred to rent a house rather than come back, and every time he came back, he wanted to run out of money and leave.
In Jianjun's view, Xiaoxia is a woman who pursues material things, and only has money in her eyes.
Hearing Jianjun evaluate herself like this, Xiaoxia was very aggrieved, she said that when she married Jianjun, she didn't even have a house, and she didn't care. In fact, she wants to be very simple, her husband cares for her, tolerates her, and is responsible for the children, so simply asked her to insist on it for 13 years, but the ex-husband has not been able to do it.
Xiao Xia said that after thirteen years of marriage, she did not even have a serious house, so she lived in the cement house on the ground, which was dark and damp and chaotic, and Jianjun said that he had contracted more than a hundred acres of land and had no time to clean up. Such a simple living environment, Xiaoxia said that she did not care, and the care and care she wanted, Jianjun had never given her.
Xiaoxia has been discouraged and insists on not remarrying, Jianjun expressed respect for Xiaoxia, the twisted melon is not sweet, and promised not to disturb Xiaoxia's life in the future.
epilogue
On closer inspection, the two did not match in many ways. From the perspective of lifestyle, Xiaoxia pursues fashion and fashion, lives a city life, Jianjun does not pay attention to eating and wearing, soaks in the ground all day, and lives a rural life; from the perspective of personality, Xiaoxia's mind is delicate and sensitive, and it is easy to be anxious, while Jianjun is not good at expression, and her personality is simple and rude.
On the surface, it is a matter of money, but behind it is actually not knowing what the other party wants. Xiaoxia needs the considerate care of her husband, while Jianjun is simple and direct, only wants what she wants, and the expression method makes Xiaoxia unacceptable; Jianjun hopes that his wife will understand his difficulties from his point of view, rather than opening his mouth to be money.
Neither of them knows what the other thinks, neither of them gives each other, and when there is a problem, they use blame instead of communication, resulting in the deterioration of the contradiction.
A good marriage is nothing more than understanding each other, you know my heart, I understand your intentions, you understand my hardships, I understand your difficulties.
Both husband and wife should open the lock of their hearts, feel each other with their hearts, understand each other, go into the depths of each other's hearts, and understand what the other person wants in their hearts.
May you meet someone who understands you!