Because what kind of child will fight in the street and cry wildly?
A person can ignore the face of the vent, either particularly aggrieved, or you let him lose dignity, adults and children are also like this.
Recently, the topic of #How to look at girls' emotional breakdown when beating mothers in the street on Weibo has made tens of millions of netizens break their defenses.
Just saw this topic a little bit do not understand, after understanding have to say:
This mother's behavior many parents sounded the alarm bell!
The thing is probably that the child has saved four thousand yuan from hard work and wants to change a mobile phone, and the mother promised the child a subsidy of 2,000 yuan.
Originally everything was perfect, but the mother repented after leading the child to the mobile phone store, and listened to her uncle's words, thinking that the child was too ignorant.
Therefore, when the street led everyone to watch, let the child give up the idea of changing the mobile phone, and handed in 4,000 yuan, this is how there is a follow-up child emotional out of control scene.
In the end, the police mediated, and the mother added money to buy a mobile phone, and lost the wife and folded the soldiers.
Seeing this news, in addition to the heartache of the child, he can only lament that this mother has taken the worst road...
Children who have been exposed in public
Both dignity and parents have been lost
Under the same topic on Zhihu, a netizen recounted the image of his mother as follows:
In front of relatives and acquaintances, she never gave me face, she could not see my cramping, but shouted at the crowd for my shame.
According to her recollection, the most common words spoken by her mother were also exposed in public. Like what:
"In front of xx, you talk about what you did, and your face is crying?"
"My daughter is mute, a wooden man, and never speaks when she sees people."
Over time, she became an "impolite" child.
When she was a teenager, her mother's practice made her want to escape, so she dropped out of school at a young age and took many detours.
Now that she is married, she still can't forget the trauma.
The girl in front of her who beat up her mother on the street was also heartbroken.
It can be seen that even if the mother did not buy the mobile phone without believing it, the girl did not collapse.
But when the mother refused to ride away, allowing her daughter to be accused and humiliated by the crowd, she broke down.
In fact, it is understandable that parents are eager to educate their children's mood, or a casual sentence, but unintentional actions cause inner trauma, which is a very unwise choice.
People want to face trees and bark, not to mention that we educate children, even if we get along with people, we can't do this.
The trauma of memory is difficult to repair and requires uninterrupted change and healing by parents.
The child loses his dignity, you lose the child, and you lose more than you lose.
Children who are never satisfied
What is abandoned is hope for the world
The continuous rejection of children kills not the child's thoughts, but hope.
At the age of 10, she wanted a toy and was rejected, crying in the street, fruitlessly.
At the age of 14, she saved a lot of money for a long time and wanted to buy the mobile phone she wanted.
But it was not enough, the mother promised to make up some money but rebelled, and even wanted to take the rest of the money, she beat her mother on the street, fruitlessly.
At the age of 18, she had an ideal in life and a school she liked, but her mother forced her to change majors and schools, without success.
At the age of 25, he reprimanded her for not being angry, not looking for a job and not getting married, and not paying attention to her own hard work.
She thought about it, crying is useless, trying to save money is useless, like it or not is useless, all efforts turned out to be useless, she didn't want anything.
In fact, such scenes are not uncommon around us.
If you let your child lose his dignity, he may take revenge, will abandon you, and will continue to heal his wounds.
But if you continue to reject and stifle his hopes, he may give up on himself.
Because you prove to him that his opinions and requests are not important through repeated refusals, gradually he will be a useless person.
The lucky of them find opportunities to try to change the status quo, and the unfortunate ones either lie flat or may go to extremes.
It is possible not to understand the child's dreams
But give them the right to dream
Take this mother-daughter incident, for example, the family conditions are not allowed, the mother can refuse at the beginning, and the child continues to save.
However, she not only did not believe what she said, but also tried to take away the 4,000 yuan that the child had worked so hard to earn.
This kind of behavior may be afraid that the child will develop the habit of spending money indiscriminately, but even if you don't agree, why break her wings?
As parents, we must respect our children in their own way, face challenges head-on, and create their own miracles in life.
On the Internet, there is such a lucky girl, she has not only become a role model for many young people, but also created miracles in her own way, she is Zeng Zhiyi.
Although he failed the college entrance examination, he was under the door of a famous teacher because of his talent, and successfully held a personal exhibition at the age of 19, which was in the limelight for a while.
But commercial painting was not her goal, so at the age of 22, she resolutely decided to give up everything and chose to go to Tibet to study thangka.
Her thangkas were not only enshrined in the center of the main hall of the Jiangpu Temple in Tibet, but she was also known as the first female thangka painter in Han China.
During this period, she carried through the days without running water, broke down the barrier of language, overcame the high reaction brought by the altitude of more than 4,000 meters, and endured the lack of rice to adapt to the local diet.
Life is tough, but even harder is learning thangka. Master Karma, who paints thangkas according to custom, only accepts locals, not women.
But she did not give up, and finally she impressed the teacher and became the only girl in the studio of more than ten square meters.
Today, she makes her own paints, goes up the mountain to collect natural materials, and grinds the pigments herself with her feel.
He also opened an inn in Lhasa, raised a big dog, and with his wild imagination, painted against the sky, and occasionally held art exhibitions and interviews.
Zeng Zhiyi said: "Life itself is a kind of practice, learn to experience the pain in life, learn not to escape, in order to become a powerful person." ”
After learning about her family with curiosity, I learned that it was the enlightenment of her mother and the wisdom of her father who made her what she is today.
Sensible love allows her to fly freely.
True love is not what I want to give, but what you want.
Respect the dream, respect the difference, let the potential fly.
Truly win your child's education
It is the parents who know how to "give up"
On the Internet, some children accuse their parents of all kinds of bad things.
Look closely at their needs, and there are only two points:
First, emotional needs are not met, and they are not appeased for a long time;
Second, dreams are suppressed and thoughts are shackled.
In fact, from the perspective of parents, it is inevitable to ignore the child's emotions, and will habitually pay in a way that they feel good.
But using the wrong method, in the end, not only the children are not convinced, but also take a detour in education.
Those who win the hearts of the people get the essence of education, and the real education to win the children is that parents must know how to give up.
Willing to invest is willing to invest, not necessarily necessarily money, even if the value of investment emotion is also an investment.
For the child, even if you really let him be wronged, you are not afraid, I am afraid that you will disappoint him and turn a blind eye to him.
Parents' understanding is the source of all strength.
In addition, it is necessary to be willing to let go of their attachments and not force children to act according to their own ideas.
In this way, children can face life without humility and find their own value.
Those crying children, if their emotions can be soothed, the choice can be respected, even if the parents do not help, will fight for themselves.
Just like Zeng Zhiyi is the fulfillment of her parents' wisdom, she has today's extraordinary life.
"I don't want you to go through the wind and rain, but if you choose to be tested, I am willing to give it a go, because we have us behind you." 」
No one is born to be rejected, to be defined, and everyone has their own color.