Parents hope that their children can be humble and polite in the world or in other aspects, and hope that they can maintain a peaceful and stable mood and mentality. But not all children can do this, many children will have emotional instability when they reach a certain stage, like to throw things, throw tantrums and other behaviors. Parents usually hope to sit down with their children and communicate well, but often without saying a few words, the child begins to be impatient, and the two sides begin to quarrel. This makes many parents feel very puzzled why the children who were originally well-behaved and obedient have now become like this.
When I went to the mall to buy something the other day, I passed by the dessert shop and saw a little girl sitting on the ground crying, and her mother was standing on the side, and said to her: "Did you forget the last time you ate ice to bully your stomach hurt?" You can't eat it now, or you'll have a stomachache again after a while. But the child did not listen to her words, still crying and making trouble on the side, "I am going to eat, you must buy it for me, if you don't buy it for me, I will not leave today." "After saying that, I lay on the ground. Seeing such a situation, I thought in my heart, fortunately, my child is still young, not this situation, too embarrassing, her mother is also very embarrassed, and finally reprimanded the little girl while helplessly buying her an ice cream.
I believe that many parents have encountered the above situation. When children want to make demands with their parents, crying has become their biggest chip, whether it is because of pampering or helplessness, parents will choose to compromise. When children are young, they basically listen to their parents, and their parents will do whatever they want, even if they don't want to do it, they will be forced. But as the child grows up, the sense of self slowly increases, for many things they just want to do according to their own wishes, will no longer unconditionally obey the parents' arrangements, the two sides will erupt into a strong quarrel. So when the child loses his temper, should we follow him, or with the child just to the end, parents must first understand why the child will lose his temper, in order to prescribe the right medicine, to know that your wrong way of handling affects not only the child's personality, may become the shadow of his life!
First, why do children always lose their temper
1, their own needs have not been met
After the child is two years old, his self-awareness will increase, and slowly he will often use me as the subject to tell things. They began to learn to express their needs and did not want to completely obey their parents' arrangements. In the process, they will carefully observe the things around them, be curious about the whole world, and then speak their minds.
Hate, sad, like or happy, in fact, the most obvious emotional expression of children is to want to get something, which is a very normal behavior. When a child's needs are not met, they often use crying to express their emotions.
2. Enter the rebellious period
For young children, rebellious period is not only present in adolescence, it is experienced once at the age of three, when self-awareness has just emerged, they begin to be reluctant to obey their parents, have autonomy, want to deal with things through their own ideas, show possessiveness of their own things, become selfish, and no longer like to share their own things.
3, want something parents do not give
Many parents should have experienced this situation, we often see such a scene in supermarkets, shopping malls, subways and other places, basically as long as you see children crying, it means that you want toys or snacks, parents do not agree.
Smart mothers generally choose to buy something else for their children to divert their attention and coax them to speak well. But parents with bad tempers will directly scold the child, and then the more the child cries, and finally develops to the result of coaxing bad, usually this situation parents will directly drag the child away, and slowly the child's temper will become very bad, even depressed.
So how do we get along with our children and help them deal with bad emotions?
1. Correctly understand the child's emotions
Every child loses his temper for a reason, and it is impossible to quarrel for no reason, such as not being understood, wronged, or his own needs are not met, which will cause the child to lose his temper.
In fact, the reason why you want to find your child is not happy is very simple, after all, it is your own child, as a parent, you still know it very well. But many parents don't have the time or patience to pay attention to and understand their children.
2. Seek your child's opinions and resolve your emotions.
Each child has their own personality, so the way they deal with emotions is also different, so parents can let their children choose on their own, allow them to experience emotions, and cultivate their ability to regulate emotions on their own. It's like you take your children to the playground to play, when you tell them to go home, they don't play enough, they will cry and make trouble, at this time it is not advisable to force them to go home. Be softly comforted and let them understand the importance of the concept of time.
3. Seek a way
The best way to deal with your child's emotions is to let your child learn to understand your emotions. Generally speaking, for children under the age of six, using picture books to reason is the most effective way and the most acceptable choice for children.
Experts say that bad emotions are likely to change the fate of a child's life, so it is very important to teach children to deal with their emotions!