Einstein's coming-of-age story
As a child, Einstein was a despised student. When Einstein graduated from elementary school, the principal said to his parents: Your children will not be able to work in the future, no matter what profession they are engaged in.
Once, Einstein's mother took him to the countryside to play. The children of relatives and friends are all alive and jumping, jumping some climbing mountains, some swimming, only Einstein sat silently by the small river, staring at the water for a long time. At this time, relatives and friends quietly walked to his mother and asked uneasily: "Little Einstein is always alone in a daze at the river, is it a little depressed?" He should be taken to the hospital. ”
Einstein's mother confidently said to them, "There is nothing wrong with my son. You don't know him, he's not in a daze, he's meditating, he's thinking about problems. He must be an amazing university professor in the future. ”
Since then, Einstein has often examined and spurred himself on his mother's words, and constantly self-suggested: I will definitely become a great university professor.
Einstein's mother was convinced that her children would be "great" in the future, and this firm belief was received by Einstein, bringing him unlimited strength.
Rosenthal Effect: They are the most promising students of the future
Anyone who knows a little bit about psychology knows the term: the Rosenthal effect.
Rosenthal was a famous American psychologist of the 20th century. In 1966, he conducted an experiment on the subject: Studying the Effect of Teacher Expectations on Student Achievement.
Rosenthal and his assistants went to an elementary school and claimed to be taking a most advanced and scientific "future development test." After the test, they took out a list of names, told the principal and relevant teachers that the students on the list were the most promising students in the future, and told them to keep them confidential so as not to affect the accuracy of the experiment. In fact, Rosenthal lied, and the students on the list were randomly selected and nothing special.
Eight months later, however, a miracle occurred:
All the students on the list have made great progress in their grades;
Not only in terms of learning, sports and other aspects are better than before;
Not only did the grades improve, but it also showed stronger learning ability and curiosity.
Apparently, Rosenthal's lie came into play, as it implied to the teacher:
The teacher believes in the conclusions of the experts, and believes that the children on the list will be very promising,
Higher expectations for the children on the list;
In daily teaching, more enthusiasm is invested in them, and they are doubly trusted and encouraged.
This list affects the teacher's evaluation of the student's ability, and the teacher passes on this psychological activity of his own through feelings, language and behavior to the students, so that they strongly feel the love and expectations from the teacher, and the student's self-confidence is enhanced, so that they work harder and progress faster than other students.
This is known as the Rosenthal effect. This effect indicates:
Whether a child can become a genius depends on whether parents and teachers can love and educate him as they treat geniuses.
A child's self-perception is easily influenced by external evaluations
On the surface, this is a simple psychological hint, but in fact, there is a profound truth behind it. Many facts have proved that the formation of ability and character depends in large part on the surrounding environment and the expectations of others.
This is especially true for kids! Because his mind is not yet mature, his mental control ability is weak, and he is more suggestive, so he is easily swayed by the expectations of adults.
They easily believe and accept the judgments of others, and internalize external evaluations into expectations and judgments of themselves.
For example, when a child feels that a teacher of a certain subject values him, he will feel that he has an advantage in this regard and will show a strong desire to learn in this subject; and when he finds that a teacher hates him, he is prone to negative performance in this subject.
In the same way, parents' expectations and attitudes towards their children affect their children as well.
If parents think that their children are geniuses, in order to live up to their parents' expectations, the children will go all out to improve themselves.
On the contrary, if parents pick their children's faults every day and always take out the shortcomings to say, it is easy to give children an illusion in their hearts: I am not a good child, do we have a job, and my parents do not like me. When a child is in this vicious circle environment for a long time, even if he is eager to fly, it is difficult to believe that he can fly.
Therefore, the positive expectations and psychological hints of parents are very important for children.
Positive psychological cues bring positive cognition and experience to children. Compared with persuasion education, implicit education can better coordinate the relationship between parents and children, and can avoid the sense of oppression brought by persuasion education to children. Suggestive education can make children have a good moral consciousness, decent behavior and strong emotional will invisibly.
Einstein's mother used positive psychological cues to facilitate the birth of genius.
How to use positive psychological cues to lead children to become better themselves
Positive psychological cues can have a positive impact on the child. When parents educate their children, they should not use negative psychological hints, and do not always criticize and accuse their children, which will make the children lose confidence in the courage to overcome difficulties.
When I was a child, there was a saying called "When I grow up, I became you". It's not actually "I became you," but I became "what I see, what you give me." I still became myself.
So, what should we do? How to get the right information and cognition during the critical and sensitive period of children's growth?
Always in our own inner world, believing that our children are excellent and that they can solve their own problems.
At any time to find and sincerely appreciate the child's shining point, and show admiration, you can also consciously tell the child: I see how good and beautiful you are. As long as the child feels the parents' understanding of him, he can stimulate unlimited power, and will draw new cognitions on the basis of knowing himself.
Our expression should be true enough. When you tell your child about his inner self, the eyes and expression must be sincere enough.
Let the child feel the equal treatment of being treated as an adult. You think of him as a child, he is a child. You think of him as an adult who can solve problems independently, and he will let himself work hard to solve problems.
Tips: Believe from the bottom of your heart that he's good
Special reminder to pay attention to the following four points:
First, expression should be natural. Don't worry when you want to express your understanding of your child to your child, you lose nature in a hurry. Losing nature makes the child not feel its original appearance, his original appearance is real and cute, strong absorption, so you show nature do not rush.
Second, to be continuous. It's not that today I have such a perception of you tomorrow I will change, I use such a feeling to express to you today tomorrow you made a mistake, or you caused a disaster, and I am still like this. Next
Third, be incredibly real. This requires you to believe from the bottom of your heart that your child must be very good in the future.
Conclusion
Finally, a word to everyone:
In the depths of the depths of our hearts, what kind of person a child is, he will often become that kind of person in the future.