Marriage Counseling Cases:
After getting married, my husband disappointed me very much!
He was obedient to me during the two years of his relationship with me. As soon as I got married, I changed.
I always accused me of not doing well, and yesterday I had a fight saying that I shouldn't have bothered with his mother, but I think his mother just wasn't right.
Is it that others are like this, coaxing me into the hand, and revealing my original face?
And if you want him to buy something and do some household chores, now he can be indifferent.
When you are in love, as long as you give him an instruction, how dare he disobey! His temper has also become bad, and he used to always let me, and now he seems to have a feeling of not giving an inch.
If he doesn't love me like he used to, what's the point of me marrying him?
When I was in love, I always looked forward to getting married, and many friends said that "marriage is the grave of love", I never believed it, and now I can really experience this pain.
Expert comment: Zheng Qijuan
I heard that the chief psychological counselor, marriage psychological counselor
A happy marriage is not all smooth sailing, happiness is when the marriage faces conflicts and difficulties, and each other can work together to solve these problems with love.
Many people have such experiences after marriage, small frictions, conflicts gradually escalate, and then doubt the love of both parties.
This disappointing discovery was very surprising, indignant, and painful, so they sought the help of marriage counseling.
Everyone says that marriage is the grave of love, because after marriage, love is like sealed wine, gradually faded from the intoxicating thick taste.
And because oil, salt, sauce and vinegar pickled the hearts of the two to a variety of flavors, it is not all sweet like when they are in love.
From love to marriage is a return from romantic, ideal, and even fantasy love to real life. The huge gap between men and women before marriage from fantasy to reality can catch people off guard.
Men and women in love always intentionally or unintentionally cover up their weaknesses, imagine each other too perfectly, it is difficult to find each other's shortcomings, and only to find out after marriage that the other party really seems to have a lot of problems.
Before marriage, the psychological characteristics of the lover's role are to give for pleasure, because falling in love is a very pleasant and self-satisfying thing, which is a wonderful supplement to daily work life.
This sense of beauty makes each other more tolerant of each other's shortcomings, and even narrows them down to the invisible.
Therefore, friends before marriage think that their partner can tolerate themselves unconditionally, and their love for themselves is always such a higher temperature of love.
In fact, it is impossible for any married couple to be like a passionate love forever, which will be exhausting.
After marriage, the psychological characteristics of the role of the couple are that they have already paid, and it is the harvest season.
The roles of both sides change and immediately transform into idealized character stereotypes.
For example, the husband requires his wife to be virtuous, take care of the husband and in-laws, and be diligent in maintaining the household; The wife demands that her husband must work hard to earn money, that he has a big heart, and that he loves himself as he is in love...
If there is a discrepancy between reality and idealization, it is very painful to feel that happiness is broken.
It's not like your husband, everyone goes through a similar process of psychological change from love to marriage, which creates a lot of "graves".
The expression of love after marriage is different from that of love, and men pay less attention to details after marriage and pay more attention to responsibilities and obligations.
Marriage requires more wisdom and tolerance to continue love, a happy marriage is not all smooth sailing, happiness is when the marriage faces conflicts and difficulties, each other can work together to solve these problems.
Now you need to make an effort to think about it, at the same time that he has become like this, have you also changed to him? You definitely have the energy to adjust yourself to make your relationship better.
Marriage Counseling Conclusion:
There are no perfect people in the world, if we can first think about what we can give to the other party, instead of complaining aggrievedly that the other party cannot satisfy themselves.
In fact, the family atmosphere also changes from complaining to harmonious and loving, so that we get more.
If we ask the other party to be consistent with our ideal image, first see if we can 100% match the ideal image in his heart, which will help achieve a happy marriage.