Media: Guangzhou Children's Palace "Urban People, Growth" magazine experts talk about the case column
Experts in this issue: I heard about it, the director of the psychological counseling center, psychological counselor, senior marriage counselor - Zheng Qijuan
A mother brought a little chubby-like girl, 9 years old, weighed nearly 70 pounds, and what parents hope to solve is to help their children quit the habit of snacking.
Mom said that Kiki has loved snacking since she was a child, and she eats more after school. Kiki herself is introverted, and due to her overweight, she has more low self-esteem and does not like to talk.
Out of health considerations, her mother asked Kiki to quit snacking. Methods such as forcibing, hiding snacks, and limiting pocket money have been used, but in vain. Kiki will always find ways to eat snacks, such as secretly finding snacks, asking others for them, saving money for breakfast to buy snacks, etc.
Kiki told me that she especially likes sweets, her father travels a lot, and her mother is also busy with work and often works overtime. As a result, she is often at home alone, and at this time, she will eat a lot before she knows it.
Kiki has no good friends in the class, and always thinks that others will laugh at her for being fat, but in fact, she hopes to have good friends in her heart.
Kiki's relationship with her parents and classmates is relatively distant, she often feels lonely and bored, and as long as there are snacks, she feels very happy.
When food comes into contact with the skin of the mouth, the body connects with external objects, and this sense of touch can eliminate the feeling of loneliness inside.
When she needs companionship and can't achieve it, snacking both relieves her tension and inner conflict, and enriches empty time. Experiments have proved that eating sweets will make people feel comfortable, which is precisely the psychological needs of people.
Therefore, snacks are a kind of spiritual comfort for Kiki, and if her parents spend more time with her, she can get enough mental comfort, and she does not need additional supplements.
On the contrary, the most immediate spiritual comfort for children who feel neglected by their parents, in addition to toys, is snacks.
However, snacks can not replace the real sense of love and companionship, parents in reality to care for and accompany their children, in order to truly meet their psychological needs.
In fact, children can eat some snacks appropriately. Because the child's stomach capacity is small, and the growing child needs as many calories as an adult, 3 meals and 2 to 3 snacks a day can meet their nutritional needs. It should be noted that the correct choice of the type of snack and the time to eat it.
First of all, I made an agreement with Kiki and her mother to limit the number, type and time of snacks.
Sorting snacks, potato chips, jelly, chocolate, etc. have no nutritional value for Kiki and belong to junk food.
Fruits, bread, walnuts, soy milk, etc. are both low-fat and nutritious, and belong to nutritious foods.
Junk snacks were reduced from eating every day to once every three days, and once a week a month later. Other times it's a nutritious snack.
List the number of snacks: for example, lactic acid bacteria drinks, drink only one bottle a day. The afternoon snack was a cake (or two slices of bread) and a fruit. Snack time is two hours before and after the main meal.
I also told Kiki a story: a little girl who was very inferior and always felt ugly, and one day she bought a beautiful hairpin and brought it to feel radiant and confident. Walking on the road, I feel that others look at her differently, full of love and appreciation.
After arriving at school, she felt that her classmates around her were more enthusiastic about her than before. When I came home from school, I found that the hair card had fallen on the floor at home.
Kiki thinks that this story makes her understand that beauty and ugliness are just her own opinions, maybe others don't see it that way, for herself, Kiki feels that she should not really be unpopular.
Let's talk to Kiki again, "Which students in the class are more popular?" What do they have in common? "What are some of your strengths that make people like?" How to do it, make people more like, be able to make some good friends? ”......
During these discussions, Kiki believes that she can be more confident and enthusiastic, communicate more with her classmates, participate in more group activities, and take the initiative to help others when needed. I am also determined to develop the habit of exercising every day to make myself sunnier and healthier.
So, we found a few specific people to make a plan: Xiaofang, who was a classmate and a neighbor at the same table, the group leader, and took the initiative to find a topic to communicate with them every day.
Sports: Play ball with classmates for half an hour after school every day. During the implementation of the plan, Kiki's inferiority complex was decreasing, she shifted a lot of energy to communication, and gradually got closer to her classmates.
Discussing the psychological needs of the child with the mother, the mother understands that the love and attention of parents is a good way to prevent the child from relying on snacks. Therefore, she and her father discussed to improve the time and quality of time with her children, and find more time to spend with them and care for her.
Take twenty minutes a day to talk to your child about how she was doing today, how she was happy, what happened to her, etc. Give your child a 20-minute phone call when you're not at home. Arrange parent-child activities every weekend, such as family trips to the playground, outings or movies.
When it comes to snacking, accompany the child to reduce the amount and number of times it eats, but it must not be prohibited.
Through the joint efforts of Kiki and her parents, her weight has increased from no longer to slowly loss. She also gradually had a friend, two friends... The habit of snacking also stayed with her, but it was no longer a problem for them.
Zheng Qijuan
Lead Consultant
I heard about it, the chief counselor of the psychological counseling center
Member of the Professional Committee of Psychological Counselors of Guangdong Mental Health Association
National Marriage Counselor
National Family Education Instructor
Child Counselor
Senior hypnotist
Spiritual healer
Psychological consultant of the "Rights Protection Service Station" of the Guangdong Provincial Women's Federation
Member of Guangdong Psychological Society
Member of the Psychoanalytic Professional Committee
Specially invited psychological consultant of the emotional column of Guangzhou Radio Station
· Guangzhou YWCA appointed psychological counselor
"Yangcheng Evening News", "Yangcheng Metro News", "Modern Parenting Weekly", "Urban People Growth" invited psychological experts
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