Wen | snow fell without dust
Recently, I saw a question on the Internet: "Why can't you find a boyfriend if you're not ugly?" ”
This question is a bit naïve. It seems that in the eyes of the subject, to fall in love, you only need to look at the face.
Is this really the case?
It is true that everyone has a heart for beauty, and good-looking people are more likely to attract the attention of the opposite sex.
But it's just attraction, just like beautiful flowers, beautiful landscapes will attract sight.
There's a saying on the Internet that goes a long way: "The fit of two people is an inner feeling, not a vision." ”
Indeed it is.
Adult love, do not fight because of a beautiful face. In addition to appearance, the commonality of hobbies, the fit of personality, and the attraction of the soul are more important in a relationship.
True love never needs to "look at the face".
01
It starts with the love of appearance, and the foundation is shallow
Colleague Kiki is a good girl, beautiful looking, good personality, graduated from a prestigious school, and has a good job, so there are many suitors around. Among them, there are not a few with good personality, strong ability, high education, and outstanding family lineage.
However, Kiki remains cold and rejects numerous suitors.
Just when we were lamenting Kiki's high vision, Kiki unexpectedly married.
Kiki's husband only has a junior high school education, no formal job, and every day in addition to playing games, he eats and drinks with a group of fox friends. The only advantage is that it has a handsome face.
Kiki said that just for this face, she was willing to suffer with the other party.
However, life after marriage makes Kiki miserable.
Even if she is married, Kiki's husband has not grown in the slightest, and he is still idle every day, except for fooling around with friends, that is, playing games at home.
At first, Kiki was able to endure, and when she had a child, Kiki had to earn money to support her family and bring a baby, and the pressure doubled.
The husband didn't help anything, and he had to reach out and ask Kiki for money.
The heavy pressure day after day made Kiki almost collapse. She wanted her husband to go out and find a job, but he refused. I hope that my husband will help with the children, but the husband puts the children aside and only cares about playing games by himself.
Unable to bear it, Kiki finally chose to divorce.
This love, which began with the appearance of the face, ended in a dismal end.
There is a saying on the Internet that tells the truth of love: "Looking at the face is just the joy of friendship, and love needs to be tired for a long time." Beauty makes people stop, but it can't make people stay. ”
Love of beauty, everyone has, we are all visual animals, the appreciation of the opposite sex, often also begins with the value of appearance.
But after all, the value of the face is something that floats on the surface. If there is no suitable soul to support, the feelings that begin with the appearance are only a flash in the pan and difficult to last. After all, the foundation is shallow, and in the face of reality, it is fragile and vulnerable.
02
The love of the soul fits in order to last
Qian Zhongshu and Yang Dai, hand in hand, have been together for a lifetime.
Qian Zhongshu once commented that Yang Dai was "the most virtuous wife and the most talented woman", saying that she was his "wife, lover, and friend", and the love between the two people was enviable.
Career-wise, two people achieve each other. When Qian Zhongshu was preparing to write "The Siege of the City", Yang Dai was very happy and constantly urged him to write quickly.
In order to make her husband feel at ease to create, Yang Dai quit the maid to save money and let Qian Zhongshu not have to worry about his livelihood. She took on all the housework in order to give Qian Zhongshu a safe writing environment.
When Qian Zhong wrote "Siege of the City", he would show the manuscript to his wife every night, and the two people looked at each other and smiled, all without saying a word.
Yang Dai recalled the scene at that time and said: "I don't need to explain what I laughed at, anyway, I don't know each other." ”
This tacit understanding of "tacit understanding" also exists in their lives.
The famous "one-word love letter" is the most talked about.
Yang Dai wrote a "love letter" to Qian Zhong, but there was only one word for "encouragement". Qian Zhongshu quickly replied, and there was only one "you" word.
After receiving the letter, Yang Dai was moved to tears.
It turned out that Yang Dai's "encouragement" word was asking Qian Zhongshu, and there were several people in his heart. And qian Zhongshu's "you" word is a deep confession: there is only one you in the heart.
How can this romance of the literati be realized without the tacit understanding of the spirit and the sharp?
In fact, every pair of enviable gods and immortals must have a soul that fits with each other.
Balzac once said, "Where a single person may perish, two people together may be saved." ”
Good love, that's it. Two people can share happiness and success, but also share pain and hardship.
But it's not easy to do that.
Only when the three views are in harmony and have similar interests can we understand each other's happiness and pain, and can we empathize with each other's mood.
Soul fit is the strength of two people to accompany each other for a lifetime.
03
In love, a beautiful face is not as good as an interesting soul
There is a high-scoring novel on the Internet called "The Methodology of Supporting The Breadwinner of Crossing".
The heroine of the novel, Chun Ya, was originally an elite in the modern workplace, but because of an accident, she crossed with her family and became a poor peasant girl.
In the face of sudden changes and an embarrassing living environment, the family of three did not complain about the world, but in the strange ancient times, began the road to prosperity.
Starting from a small fried chicken stall, a family of three worked step by step, and eventually became a generation of loyal and courageous people.
In this process, although Chun Ya is a daughter, she is the backbone of the family. The development route of the whole family is almost all planned by Chun Ya.
Chun Ya looks mediocre, but has an optimistic and strong personality, usually grinning, a little funny, a little out of tune, and a little greedy.
But at the moment of major events, she is the most courageous and sensible.
When the rebels attacked the city, she and her family rushed to the forefront, even demolishing their own courtyard to provide war supplies.
The male protagonist Guan Muqing was originally after the gate, and after his father died on the battlefield, only he and his sister were left to rely on each other.
Family changes, making him a cold teenager with cold outside and hot inside.
By chance, Guan Muqing and Chun Ya met. Chun Ya's optimism, strength, and general knowledge deeply attracted Guan Muqing. Guan Muqing's calm and upright spirit also won the favor of Chun Ya.
The love between Chun Ya and Guan Muqing is the attraction of the soul and has nothing to do with the appearance.
Regarding the appearance value, there is a sentence on the Internet that is very heartfelt: "The good-looking skin bag is wrinkled in ten years, and the interesting soul has no boundaries." ”
In love, this is especially true.
A beautiful face may make people shine, but shallow insight will make beauty lose its spirituality, like a beautiful but dull flower. No matter how beautiful the flowers are, they will be tasteless after a long time.
What's more, the years are merciless, no matter how beautiful the flowers will wither, no matter how beautiful the face will grow old. At that time, what will be the continuation of love that begins with the appearance?
The interesting soul will make ordinary looks shine, like brilliant stars, eternally, will not fade with time, but will only be vivid with the years.
04
The Irish poet William Butler Yeats once wrote affectionately: "How many people love the joys of your youth, your beauty, false or sincere, only one loves your pious soul, loves the wrinkles of your aging face." ”
The best look of love is never before the moon flowers when you are young, but the people who meet each other in middle age, achieve each other, and support each other in old age, hand in hand with the sunset.
There is a kind of love, even if you pay sincerely, it will not last long, that is, those who only look at the face of love.
When you are young and crazy, you may fight a fire for a good-looking skin bag moth. But what can support two people to work together for a lifetime is the long-term love of knowing each other.
Mature love is never just about falling in love with a face.