Daughter:
See literally.
As your mom, I've always made you pursue what you want, give you freedom, and teach you self-love.
But last week, after I met the boy you liked very much, there were some things I had to say to you, even if it would break your heart.
He is indeed very good-looking, on par with you, and looks polite.
You brought him to me and your father, but at this moment, I was reluctant and I was not at ease, because: he was too "poor".
Mental "poor"
Your dad asked me to convey to you the following sentence:
Don't believe the poisonous chicken soup: "Men live in a child's heart." ”
Daughter, you must remember this sentence from your father.
If a man really wants to start taking care of a family, no matter how childish he is, he must restrain himself, because he has a responsibility on his shoulders, and he is not the child who plays games in the dark, goes to work in a chaotic way, and gives up when the work is not smooth.
He was too childish, too willful.
I talked to him about work, and he expressed a lot of dissatisfaction with the work, from the "squeezing" of the leader, the gossip of colleagues, the company is too far from home, to too much overtime, all kinds of complaints...
I said to him, "Then why not change jobs." ”
He said: "I haven't thought about it yet. ”
I asked again, "Then what are you going to do next if you want to change jobs?" ”
He said: "I haven't thought about it yet, maybe I'll take a 2-month break and go on a trip." ”
I didn't hear a word, his summary of himself, his plan for himself.
He is not a technician, he eats everywhere, nor is he a literary and artistic worker, and he can express his feelings when he goes out to play, but just to go out and play.
He was too childish.
Because in his plan, he didn't think about you, silly daughter.
Mom and Dad can make you not want his bride price, don't want his house, but what can he give you?
Daughter, please, don't feel like you can grow up with a man, he has to learn to grow up on his own.
The man who needs you to grow up with you will never grow up because he will always lack a sense of responsibility.
Three views of "poor"
You said he was thoughtful, gentle, good-tempered, and thought of you a lot of things...
But isn't that also your attitude towards him?
But did you really talk to him deeply?
Is this really what you want?
Daughter, your father and I really do not dislike his young and shallow qualifications, but a good marriage, we must have three views of harmony, rather than just trying him to pour tea and water, sweet words.
After all, it is your life's event, and I must ask him about his family background and family concept.
After asking, your father and I were cold.
A large part of a person's thoughts also depend on his family of origin.
From the conversation, your dad and I summarized a few of his meanings:
First, his parents preferred sons to daughters, hoping that after marriage, you would have a boy.
Second, neither he nor his parents like you to wear makeup and feel like it's a waste of money.
Third, think that women should take care of the family and will help you with some housework if you are too busy.
Marrying someone is not just marrying a man, but marrying a family.
Giving birth to a child is not to pass on the family to the man, but to the husband and wife, the crystallization of love, and the continuation of life.
Makeup is to please yourself, but also to see your people comfortable, cosmetics are earned by yourself, but also within the consumption capacity, mother does not feel that you are wrong.
Finally, taking care of the family is the obligation and responsibility of two people, it is what both sides should do, who has time to do it, if he is sad that you have a child and hurts his vitality, he will definitely take the initiative to help you do more, rather than waiting for you to be too busy to go and then take the handle...
He is the precious son of his parents, and you are our precious daughter!
Are you right?
Silly boy, you only know that love is sweet, but you don't know that marriage is a "pit".
Love only needs you and me, but marriage needs three views to blend together.
The future is "poor"
Since I was a child, your father and I have taught you not to be high-handed, not to be snobbish, and people must sink down in order to float up.
But this time, his parents really hated him for being "poor".
Mom and Dad really aren't snobbers...
His family is not rich, it doesn't matter, ambitious boys, not dependent on the family.
His work has not yet improved, and it does not matter, because few young people are born to be productive and need time.
However, I am not afraid of his shallow learning, and I am afraid of others' poor ambitions.
In marriage, the most feared thing is not that the pot cannot be opened, but that there is no hope.
Do you remember when you were a kid?
At that time, your father was also very poor, and he couldn't afford to eat watermelon in the summer and a big cotton jacket in the winter.
But he worked hard, to learn and summarize with the masters, actively participate in the activities in the factory, and give it to me as soon as he was paid, not willing to give himself something, just wanting us to live comfortably.
During that time, it was very bitter, but it was very warm, because I felt that there was hope and hope.
I know he's working hard, so I'm working harder, and when I was working in a textile factory, I always took good employees, and we encouraged each other and supported each other.
When I go home and cook, he will definitely help me wash the dishes and wash the pots.
I do housework, he always rushes to do it, let me go and play with you.
Even now, your dad has achieved a little success, he often said to me:
"Before, you suffered."
I was lucky enough to meet a man who was ambitious, promising, and grateful.
Men can be poor when they are young, but they cannot be without potential, and they cannot give hope to their families.
You are together, and your mother is not worried about you suffering with him for a while, but she is afraid that you will suffer with him for a lifetime.
No matter how poor you are, you can't be poor
The above, said a lot, sentence by sentence.
There are many, and they are also summarized according to the content you usually talk to me.
It's not that mom and dad don't allow you to be with him, but he has to make changes, and how can he change, as a person who has come over, we actually have a number...
He must do the following 4 points in order to take you away from us:
First, don't be lazy
Work hard, don't be opportunistic, you can complain, but learn to adjust, you can play, but you can't lose your job.
Second, there is planning for the future
Man has no far-sighted worries, but will have near-term worries. He has machismo, but he doesn't have the responsibility of a macho man, which doesn't work.
Third, change the concept of procreation and of the wife
You have a child, it doesn't matter whose surname you are, the main thing is that your family is harmonious and loving.
He is not helping you with housework, but for the sake of this home, to work, to pay, is voluntary, not forced.
Fourth, let's wait until his mind matures and save some money
All my money and your dad's money is saved for you. But I want it to be the icing on the cake, not the icing on the cake.
Because if he is poor, we can't save this little money.
Mom and Dad's requirements are really not high, what do you think?
Should you calm down and think about it?
My mother has lived most of her life, about feelings, marriage, I have seen through it, I have experienced it myself, and I have seen the ups and downs of others.
I'm different from your dad and other parents, we're not in a hurry to marry you off, and we don't want to be a man or anything, really.
We only want you to be happy, happy, healthy, and peaceful.
Love your mom and dad the most
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