Text/Arbor
1.
There are many women who always feel that when they have independent financial ability, they will have a happy life and a happy marriage.
In fact, the happiness of a life, economic ability only accounts for one of the factors, not all of them.
Some women always feel that because they have the ability to make money, because they have decided that they will not rely on men in this life, so when they are with men, she does not rely on men for anything, nor does she spend a penny on men.
Leaving men useless in front of themselves and without any room for value.
In fact, these two kinds of people have misinterpreted the meaning of women's independence. Women's independence does not mean that they bear all the burdens of life, even in marriage and feelings, which is not conducive to marriage management.
Two people together, the reason why the relationship can be long-lasting, is because two people give each other value space.
A relationship that is interdependent and interdependent and independent can last a long time.
Marriage is originally a matter of two people, not a single fight of a certain person, let alone a one-man show.
In a marriage, if the woman bears everything and the man does nothing, then such a marriage is bound to lose its balance.
If in a relationship, the woman never depends on the man, the two do not have any dependence emotionally, the two do not have any financial involvement, this is not a husband and wife relationship at all, more like a neighbor relationship, but also more like a roommate relationship.
2.
Friend Xiaonan said that the biggest revelation she got in her parents' marriage was that women must not help men earn money to support their families, and when men are idle, his life will be wasted.
Originally, Xiaonan's parents were also a loving couple, but his father did not have any career and preferred to live the life of a crane.
Xiaonan's mother took up more family responsibilities, and her father used the mentality of mixing up the days at work.
But the mother who performed well, after the promotion and salary increase, she put more and more energy into the work.
And dad saw his wife's excellence, and he did not stimulate him to become more excellent, and he did not feel that there was anything wrong with his current state.
It's just that when his wife is working harder and harder, and is praised by her friends around her, Xiaonan's father still only chooses to live his own life, mixed food and waiting for death.
Later, Xiaonan's father had an accident at work, and he became an idle person, but he was unwilling to find a job and live a down-to-earth life.
Because the wife alone assumed the responsibility of supporting the family early, men feel that whether they can make money or not, it seems that the impact on the family is not large.
He began to live a peaceful life and made many friends.
Xiaonan's mother had also advised him many times to find a job and not eat women's soft meals at home.
However, men don't care, anyway, the family has money, women have money, do not need him to earn such an income, and it is so hard to make money.
There are more and more contradictions between the two people, and more and more quarrels between the two people.
Women hate men for not having a career, she is completely unreliable; men blame women for working too hard, and they don't treat him as a man and respect him at all in life.
Later, the father, who had nothing to do every day, fell in love with a divorced single mother, and he felt that the woman was too hard to make money, so he went to work by himself, worked by himself, and gave the money to the woman himself.
3.
In this story, it is certainly not right for a man to fall in love with another woman in the case of marriage, and it is also contrary to the fidelity of marriage.
However, the experience of Xiaonan's parents also gives us a very clear reminder: in marriage, men need respect and value space.
When a man can't show his value space in front of a woman, and is not needed and relied on by women, he will look for his share of this value in other women.
Because what men need in marriage is not a woman who can help him make money to support his family, and a woman with real emotional intelligence will not help men make money to support their families.
A man needs value space in marriage, needs space to exist, needs to be needed by his family, and needs to realize his value and sense of accomplishment.
When a man is at home and has no place to play, when a woman takes on the responsibility of a man, the basic balance of this marriage relationship has been lost.
The more a woman gives in a marriage, it will only bring more hidden dangers to the marriage, so women should not be self-motivated in anyone.
Because it is really not worth it, on the one hand, your efforts will often not bring you the return you want, and others will not fulfill your expectations as you wish;
On the other hand: the more you give, others will just take it for granted, because they are used to the way you give.
In marriage, whether a man's heart is like a child, or his heart is not fully mature, he must let the man take on the responsibility, he must bear the responsibility, bear the pressure he must bear, and shoulder the obligation to make money and support the family.
In fact, women who never help men earn money to support their families are often happier.
Because men also need face, and the source of men's face is more often his earning power, more often than not, his career.
No man wants to live a mediocre life, no man wants to live an ordinary life, and the desire in a man's heart is to achieve a vigorous and big thing, just to see if this passion in his heart can be ignited by a woman.
When women can see the shining points in men, even if his current earning power is not so big, when women go to motivate men, to encourage men, to exaggerate men, men can take the initiative to shoulder the responsibility of marriage, such men, only have more self-motivation, only have more desire for career.
4.
In marriage, the more a man pays, the more energy he invests, the more money he invests, he will feel that this home is built by his own hands, and he will take good care of it, and this family is complete and beautiful.
In fact, smart women let men play a sense of value in marriage, and men can truly appreciate their needs.
Women who take the initiative to let men take on more money to support their families, let men shoulder more, family responsibilities, are often the happiest.
Thank you for your love, I am Qiaomu, a million leopard print author, dedicated to marriage, heart-warming stories. Follow me and you'll find more great content.