Author: Xuan Xiaolei
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In the first episode of "Dear Child", the heroine's belly is about to give birth, and the man comes home from work to help her bring the noodles home, afraid that she is hungry for peppers, she eats noodles with peppers outside, and then gives herself a home without peppers to eat with her wife.
Walking, cutting fruit, covering blankets, sleeping with her on the couch, still looking very considerate.
But the problem soon came out, the heroine was a few days away from the due date, and still gave lessons to students at school, and as a result, the amniotic fluid in the class was broken.
Students were also arranged to study on their own, and she went to have a baby.
It sounded very "rigid", and when I arrived at the hospital, my husband also took leave of absence to come to the hospital, and her mother also came.
But the stomach did not move again, and for the sake of the child, the woman lay motionless on the bed. At this time, the husband received a work call, saying that the unit had something to look for him.
It doesn't look particularly urgent, but the man has the intention of going, and the woman takes the initiative to let him go, which means that he has not moved anyway, and it is only ten minutes away to the hospital.
The man listened and really went. After leaving, the woman said alone in frustration: "Really go!" ”
Her mother also blamed her when she came back, meaning that there was something urgent in the unit that could be more urgent than the wife's birth of a child?
The woman also said very easily: "It's okay, I don't hurt at all, I'm so big, I can't give birth to him..."
The husband went to work and went home, came home and took out a beer, sat comfortably on the couch and watched the ball game, just telling his wife that something was calling him.
It seems normal, but I always feel that something is not quite right.
I think it is because women are actually not as relaxed and calm as imagined, if there is, it will definitely come from the husband's companionship and support, this main heart.
Even if your own mother is around, you will feel different mentally.
This kind of time to have a child, for the woman who experiences it for the first time, is nervous, is unknown, and it is impossible not to be completely afraid.
Even if she is really not afraid, I hope that the child's father is around, and his presence will make her feel comforted, encouraged, down-to-earth, reassuring, and brave.
Unfortunately, many men will think that this is not a big deal, or most of the time in their lives, they feel that it is not a big deal.
Sometimes, if women scream pain and cry tiredness, they may still feel arrogant, feel that it is not, anyway, it is relatively big, not so sensitive, not so positive.
Just like this man in the play, drinking a few cans of wine at home, directly sleeping and not knowing anything, the sky has been bright for a long time, the wife can't help but start to cry out in pain, don't know where others are, and no one has answered the phone.
He hadn't even arrived before entering the delivery room, and his wife couldn't maintain the relaxed state she had before, crying and telling her mother that she was afraid...
The man came and the woman was already in the delivery room. When he came out after giving birth, the man disappeared again because he had sent his mother a placenta. By the time he returned, the woman had been pushed back to the ward by the nurse, and he didn't know it yet.
It seems to be small things, but they are also all details, for women, this is a big event in life, no matter how easy they say on their mouths, their hearts are also afraid.
At this time, the lover is not around, the feeling is even more empty, and no matter how many people around you, it seems to be different. That feeling of not being taken seriously is presumably felt by many women who have children.
Indeed, for women, having children is really not a trivial matter, and this is really not a pretense. To say that women in the past can do anything, it is true, but then the conditions were like that, there were many problems, and now the conditions are better, and the natural needs have also increased.
Of course, more women have higher emotional needs when giving birth, discomfort during pregnancy, and pain during childbirth, which men can't experience.
If the husband's love is not enough, and he is not careful enough, then the woman will inevitably suffer some hardships and sufferings from her psychological life.
Even if my relationship with my husband is stable, he also takes care of the companionship step by step, I still have times when I feel helpless and dissatisfied, such as the post-caesarean section wound is too painful, I dare not move for two or three days, when the nurse pressed the stomach completely out of control, screaming, crying.
My husband was comforting, accompanied, and also expressed his heartache, but later he said that I did not carry pain, and said how he had an operation, he did not feel much pain.
I was speechless and didn't want to pay attention to his psychology. But I still admitted that I really didn't carry pain, and I couldn't stand the slightly heavier hands of the clerk when I usually massaged.
Although what he said was actual, I would also feel unhappy psychologically. He felt that he should be able to "see me step on the peanuts and kick my feet and feel sad."
Unfortunately, even if a man loves you and is careful, he will have a careless time. If you don't love enough, it's even more obvious, you're disgusted, you're bored, you're impatient.
Just like the man in the play, his wife is incontinent after giving birth, he subconsciously has a dislike, after cleaning up and constantly washing his hands, when he is in front of his wife, he is still affectionate and considerate, but in the place where there is no one, his impatience and disgust are natural.
Many husband and wife relationships have problems during the time when women have children, one is that women are sensitive and vulnerable and helpless during this time, and the other is that men do not love enough so they cannot bear the life and emotional needs of women during this time.
Eventually women are disappointed and chilled, and men run out of patience or have no patience at all.
On the contrary, if you love enough, the man can always put this woman and the child in her belly on the tip of his heart, always thinking, always protecting, afraid that he will not pay enough, but also understand her subtle psychological changes, and give comfort in time.
Of course, women themselves should also pay attention, since they have chosen to be a mother, not only for a man, but for themselves and their children, so they should be stronger, psychologically stronger, and more independent awareness, less expectations for men, a little more relaxed, a little more tolerant, and a little less disappointed.
If he is really perfunctory and impatient, then don't settle down, but through the stage of procreation, you must see how deeply he loves himself, or whether he is responsible.
Not pretentious, but also can not tolerate their excessive neglect and ruthlessness.