Children are children, there is no child who is born to be self-conscious, only parents who are willing to pay for their children.
In the process of parents educating their children, we often see this kind of education:
"Children don't know how to be polite and have no rules, and when they grow up, they will know;
Children do not understand gratitude, they will know when they grow up;
Children don't love to learn, and one day he will know to learn. ”
Yes, maybe, but the day he knew it might be too late.
The ancients said: "Raise the fault of the godfather". It is the duty of parents to educate their children, and parents are teachers who never retire. Therefore, letting a child go unchecked and expecting him to be "self-conscious" is not only an excuse for parents for their duties, but also contains huge educational risks.
01
The reason why a child is a child is that he is not conscious
Before the child is a minor, out of the instinct of man as a higher animal, he can consciously eat, drink and have fun, but it is impossible to consciously learn. Therefore, the establishment of children's self-consciousness is a long and complex process. Some experts have shown that children must be at least fifteen or sixteen years old to truly have self-awareness. Until then, children cannot learn consciously, and must have the company and discipline of adults.
Confucius's "ten and five and as far as learning" indicates that Confucius began to understand conscious learning at the age of fifteen. And Mencius was even more playful, until one day when he came home and was frightened by his mother's "broken machine", he accepted to be a "well-behaved boy".
The ancient sages could not yet achieve self-realization, let alone ordinary people.
02
Expecting children to be self-conscious is not responsible for their children's lives
In real life, it is not that parents are unwilling to educate their children, some parents are busy with work, some are busy with livelihood, and some are "lying flat" because their educational methods are ineffective... But whatever the reason, it should not be a reason to "free-range" children and make children "consciously" become talents.
There is a plot in the TV series "Family with Children": Liu Xing and Xiaoyu accuse their mother of not cultivating them as children, otherwise they may become writers and musicians. Liu Xing's mother said grievously: "When I was a child, I reported you to this class and that class, I wanted you to learn, but you didn't learn it yourself!" Liu Xing immediately said, "I don't want to learn, so you won't let me learn?" At that time, I was still young, I didn't understand things, didn't you understand things? You should have cultivated me and educated me from an early age, and from an early age you forced me to learn..." Examples of this abound in reality.
Parents, because of all kinds of so-called "excuses", give up the supervision and education of their children, and hope that the children will be self-conscious, are not responsible for their children's lives.
03
Visionary parents are a little desperate for their children
CCTV host Dong Qing once said frankly that all his achievements today are thanks to his father's strictness.
She said: "It was my father who made me a strong child at heart. Because after entering the society, you will encounter many, many blows, and you need to be strong to face. So now, I find a lot of things that I can grit my teeth to persevere. ”
When Dong Qing was a child, her father urged her to copy idioms and ancient poems every day, and then memorize them for examination. In middle school, her father gave her a book list every day, asking her how many famous books she had to read and copying wonderful sentences from the books. Even before dawn, her father picked her up from her sleep and let her run a kilometer to the middle school in front of her house. Dong Qing once hated her father's harshness, but now she is extremely grateful to her father. It is the persecution and supervision of her father that has made her learn to persevere and achieve herself on the stage.
Truly far-sighted parents are not "kind" to their children, and even a little desperate. But it is precisely because of the fierce heart of the parents that children can fly to a higher place and enjoy a more beautiful scenery. Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans for them.
Of course, we do not advocate blindly being strict with children, but when the child's worldview and outlook on life have not yet been established, parents need to be guided, and this guidance sometimes has to be painstakingly made by parents.
How "fierce" the parents are, how good the children are.
04
Behind every excellent child, it is the parents who are struggling to lift it
Why is the same class, the same teacher, the results of children so different? Some parents always say that other people's children are smart, and other people's children are born to be academic bullies. Is this really the case?
In fact, the real gap may not be in the child, not in the teacher, but in the parents standing behind the child.
Mo Yan once said: "The excellence of children is soaked in the sweat of their parents." ”
You envy other people's children who like to read, that's because other people's parents cultivate their children's reading habits from an early age;
You envy other people's children for their excellent grades, because other people's parents spend a lot of time and energy on their children's learning.
Not every child is born to be a bully, and more children are like the first to learn to walk, requiring parents to bend down and help them step by step until they can walk independently. Any good child is not a miracle that turned out to be a miracle, but a cause and effect that can be followed. Its cause is in the family; its roots are in the parents. Behind every excellent child, there is a powerful family. Every outstanding child's growth path is soaked with the sweat of his parents. On the road of educating children, the efforts of parents are indispensable.
05
The best way to cultivate self-awareness is for parents to lead by example
If parents do not allow their children to do things, do not offend themselves, naturally children will regard their parents as role models and slowly develop good habits.
If you see a "self-conscious" child, it is mostly the result of long-term companionship, correct supervision and strict discipline of parents and teachers.
If parents "lie down" at home every day and brush their mobile phones unscrupulously, in this environment, children are more likely to "learn from" to indulge in mobile phones.
Set aside some time for your child's high-quality companionship, such as: chatting together, playing games, reading, etc.
There was a friend, in order to let the child develop the habit of doing homework at home, every day he will accompany the child to study after work, not the so-called whole process of tutoring, inspection, he just simply do his own things, or read books or work, the child gradually developed the habit of writing homework when he got home.
Later, even without his company, the child can take the initiative to write homework when he arrives at home.
Parents who want to cultivate their children's self-conscious abilities and habits must do two things.
One is to create a quiet and independent environment for children; the other is to help children follow the time plan to do things and learn, and establish a sense of rules.
As the saying goes: predetermined is standing, not predetermined is abolished.
The "compulsion" of parents is not "coercion", but a force behind the support when the child's will is weak.
On the road of cultivating children's self-awareness, there is no shortcut to take, that is, persistence and breakthrough again and again.
In short, on the road of educating children, never only expect children to be self-conscious and self-disciplined, but also need parents to accompany and supervise for a long time and grow up together with their children.
Some of the content is illustrated / originated from the Network Invasion and Deletion
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