Text\XiaoYi\Picture from the network
I'm writing this article today not only about families that hurt their children, families that favor sons over daughters, but also families of origin.
For the original family, I am also deeply affected!
People who are poor in heart are poor in their bones, regardless of whether they are materially rich or not, some parents of the original family are poor and poor, they think that often scolding, belittling, counting, and denying children is to educate children, and the thinking is very stubborn, for parents to scold children, I look at it this way, parents occasionally scold children is education, parents have been scolding children that is abuse.
But poor parents think that children are born of their parents, they want to fight how to fight, how to scold how to scold, and children can not say that they are not right, it is so strong, often use the parents' shelf to suppress children, the child's self-confidence is suppressed, in turn, complain about how children do not talk to them.
Children have been under the oppression of their parents, from childhood to adulthood have been suppressed by the strong pressure of their parents, the heart has long been full of holes, light to a lonely, depressed, heavy to depression, mental illness. This is ruining people tirelessly, ruining the child's life and they still die without admitting mistakes!
In fact, the children who are hurt by the original family are not demanding, they only want a word of apology from their parents, but it is such a simple sentence, the child can not get it.
Poor parents do not think that they are wrong, in their eyes the child is their own personal tool, the child must listen to them, that is, want to control the child and can not give anything to the child, can not teach the child anything, they will only say that you do not listen to me, you can not do, but the children all listen to them, they can not arrange anything, what ability is not yet let the child fully listen to them, then they have to blame the child for not having an opinion.
Anyway, what is the child's fault, and they are right, there is not much, there is no mistake, they do not recognize, they themselves have no ability but rely on bullying their children to obtain the dignity of being human, if the child from childhood to adulthood is directly affected by their negative energy such as scolding, lashing, denial, etc., then the child is really sure that he will not be confident all his life, and he will be inferior all his life.
Poor parents also like to compare other people's children with their own children, and then desperately ridicule and belittle their own children, they often scold their parents like this: You look at other people's children, look at you, you are too wasteful.
But they don't know what it is like to take a mirror to look at themselves, they are not as good as other people's parents, but they take their own children as angry, use the children as a punching bag, let the children suffer physical and mental abuse from childhood to adulthood, and say that they are worried that their children are bullied by outsiders, in fact, as parents, they have been bullying their children, and the outsiders look down on them and their children even more. This kind of parent is the most incompetent, putting up a shelf in front of the child, bullying their children from small to large, when the child is young, they are bullied by other adults, they dare not even put a fart, and when the child grows up, he complains that the child cannot give them face.
When the child is a child, there is no parent to support him, the parent not only does not support the child, but also with others to bully their own children, the child will either grow up to be particularly inferior, or especially resent this poor, incompetent and ignorant parent.
Especially the children who are bullied by poor parents have a particularly good heart, they would rather let others hurt themselves or hurt themselves than hurt others, even a bad word can not be spoken, afraid of hurting the hearts of those parents, but poor parents will not understand the good children, they will only be when the kind children are weak, in fact, the children are not weak, but afraid of saying things to hurt them.
Children know that their personality is flawed, but poor parents do not know or do not admit it, they naturally suppress the child and deprive the child of self-confidence.
Poor parents think that there is no parent in the world, that is to say, there is no mistake in the parents who make a big mistake, even right, the child must not point out the parents' mistakes, otherwise the parents will be angry, how to beat how to scold the child can be, the child just can not say them.
It is such a poor family that makes the parent-child relationship extremely bad.
For poor people to become parents, I give my opinion
First, parents are also people, but also will make mistakes, is that people will have right and wrong, if the parents are wrong in some aspects, they are not allowed to say that the person will not have children, which child likes to be born in death and do not admit mistakes? Do children like to hurt themselves? If the parents die and don't admit mistakes, can the children also die without admitting mistakes? Because the personalities are all the same, the same biological, the same dead and not mistaken personality, who is to blame?
Don't be unreasonable just because you are a parent, cats and dogs can have children, this is not a primitive society. Don't forget, parents also come from children, and I have heard poor parents scold their own parents.
Second, scolding, belittling, and counting children can also be said to be education, then there is no need to learn, continue to use this set, this backward way of education has reduced people's intelligence, treat people as slaves, the elders say that they will fight, scold, so is it still alive in the old society?
Of course, parents can beat their children, occasionally scolding once is education, scolding all the time is abuse, and when parents are old, do they have to fight back and scold back? The child's self-confidence is gone, the child is inferior, can the parents raise the child for a lifetime? Obviously not. Therefore, this strange way of education is not desirable and backward.
Third, you must listen to your parents, and those who do not listen to their parents will not be able to do it, and even become beggars? What logic is this? Do you think your child is missing arms and legs? Can you starve to death if you don't listen to you? You're also too small to look down on your own children. Zhu Yuanzhang's parents died since he was a child, almost all his relatives were gone, and he was not seen starving to death?
Is it very contradictory to let the child completely listen to himself and want the child to have an opinion? If your child also compares other people's parents to you, are you going to be angry?
Fourth, as a strong parent can be morally kidnapped, standing on the moral high ground can abuse the child's mentality out of the, the child's self-confidence is abused, the child from childhood to adulthood is very inferior, even the ability to live is abused, you still think that your child has the ability to repay you and raise you? You don't have to raise him for the rest of your life. If he's stupid, can you raise him for the rest of his life? Obviously not.
Therefore, if parents do not speak well, do not put their own mentality, will not correctly educate and guide their children, will only be self-righteous, scolding, bullying, and abuse of their children, then the child's physical and mental problems, then the parents are not fully responsible?
Kind children are the most likely to be victimized inside, because good children are originally very filial and obedient, such children are always thinking of giving back to the family, but unfortunately met poor parents, from small to large into physical and mental trauma, they want not to be the parents' material, parents do not have to guard against them, they are very stupid, even if they are hurt by the original family from childhood to adulthood, they are stupid to want to return to the family, what they want is just a word of apology from their parents, so that they have love and motivation and confidence to work hard, But they don't get a simple sentence.