In the original family, the children are most afraid of several things, parents with children should pay attention to

In a family, it should be said that in a bad original family, there are many things that children are afraid of, although in a bad original family environment, there are many bad things, and children may be accustomed to these things, but they still can't control the fear in their hearts, because they also want to have a happy native family.

It is not a contradiction that children are afraid and at the same time desire beauty, after all, everyone has the right to pursue being loved.

In the family of origin, children are most afraid of the few things

01 I am most afraid of seeing parents or relatives quarrel

Seeing that parents or relatives often quarrel, children in childhood are generally afraid, if parents and relatives occasionally quarrel with children generally have no impact, often quarrels will seriously affect children.

Childhood children's hearts are fragile, they long for the warmth of the family, eager for the care and love of adults, so you see that many children like to cry to get more attention from adults.

And the children in the original family who often quarrel, from childhood to see adults quarreling with children is afraid, they dare not show themselves in front of adults to get the attention of adults, but hide their preferences, in front of adults they appear to be overly obedient, because they are afraid of their parents in their hearts.

Such children grow up to be either weak and excessively flattering others, or become grumpy and like to use violence to solve problems.

02 Parents are most afraid of comparing themselves with other people's children

You look at someone else's child, and then look at you, how I gave birth to something like you. It is estimated that many children of poor families have heard their parents nag like this, right?

Parents always compare their own children with other people's children, elevate other people's children while demeaning their own children, so that their children feel ashamed, in their eyes this may be called motivating their own children, the result of this trick is not useful, the child is not more than other people's children, but more and more inferior, there is no original self-confidence!

In fact, what children are most afraid of is not the fact that their parents compare them with other people's children, but the most afraid of not getting the recognition and affirmation of their parents, and the children of other people's families are recognized and affirmed by their parents, of course, excellent, and their parents not only do not recognize themselves but also degrade themselves everywhere, how can children have self-confidence in front of others?

One of my neighbors likes to belittle his own children everywhere, always comparing his own children's shortcomings with the strengths of other people's children. Originally, his children and other people's children are similar, but he just likes to hit his own children, comparing the shortcomings of children with the strengths of other people's children, you can never compare with others, just like you compare your strengths with other people's shortcomings, and over time you feel that others will never be able to compare with you!

As a result, his children are made very inferior by him, other people's children are confident, his children are inferior, which is really inferior to other people's children!

Parents who always compare their own children with other people's children can't see the advantages of their children, they don't understand their children, so they won't educate their children, and they want their children to become the so-called "excellent" of other people's children, children can't get the recognition and affirmation of parents, and children themselves slowly determine that they are inferior to others, and the result becomes very inferior.

03 I am most afraid of parental blows and insults

How can you be so stupid? How can you be so stupid? You make me hope so much, it is better to have a piece of char siu than to give birth to you... This kind of blow and insult to the child is the easiest to blurt out from the mouth of the poor parents, they think that they have a child without teaching the child to do it themselves, in fact, they hit and insult their children in this way is equivalent to scolding themselves in disguise, but they don't know it.

Even the parents who gave birth to him and raised him are beating and insulting him stupid, the child is not stupid, it is really sorry for such parents, the child does not want to be stupid, but he did not get the parents and understanding and encouragement, he did not have self-confidence, even self-esteem is gone, often suffer from such blows and insults the child's spirit will be very tortured, and even fall into mental attrition, in the end may be psychologically scolded out of the problem, how smart is the child?

Isn't a child not to be scolded? Occasionally scolding that is called education, often beating and abusing that is called verbal abuse or verbal violence, so as a parent, do not be confused about the difference between educating children and violence and abusing children.

04 I am most afraid of my parents criticizing and blaming myself in front of outsiders

Like adults, children also want face, children also have self-esteem, but some parents criticize and accuse their children in front of outsiders with the words of "what face and self-esteem do children want", completely disregarding their children's feelings.

Parents let children lose face and dignity in front of outsiders, the child will also disregard the face and dignity of parents, so on, children will be very resistant to parental criticism, no matter whether parents criticize right or wrong, children are very resistant, in fact, children resist parents, not things, children will not listen to parents.

Such a child grows up to be inferior and conceited, and those who are afraid of criticism by others and criticize him at the same time become socially afraid because they care a lot about what others say.

05 I am most afraid of parents' self-touching complaints

Parents work hard children will see in the eyes and remember in their hearts, but parents are hard at the same time always nagging to their children "I have worked hard for you, for you I have paid too much, if I did not have you I will live well, I am too bitter", that will only increase the child's psychological pressure, the child will slowly be very disgusted with the parents such a self-touching complaint.

Children are afraid that their parents will complain like this, and every time parents complain about this, their children will feel that they owe their parents, and the child's psychological pressure will increase sharply, and even feel that it is a mistake to live.

Children are grateful to their parents, but parents always complain about such self-touching complaints that make children mentally tormented, affecting children's normal ability to play their own abilities, resulting in children having difficulty repaying their parents!

06 Conclusion

Parent-child education is not only to educate children well, parents also need to learn, parents do not know how to correctly educate and guide their children without learning.

Parent-child education needs parents and children to learn, parents need to improve their cognitive ability and realm, so that they can be more patient to understand their children, find the advantages of children, help children play their strengths, guide children to be positive and optimistic.