When I was a child, I always had a wish, that is, to look forward to the holiday.
This morning, my son was not willing to get up and rubbed for half a day.
Finally, nearly 7:30, my son reluctantly got up.
He said to me: Is Mom on vacation today?
I replied: Son, today is Monday, no holidays.
The son said: Didn't you say take 5 days off?
I said: On May Day, take 5 days off.
The son said: I hope to live those 5 days directly.
I was speechless.....
In the process of growing up, children generally go through several psychological stages.
The most headache for parents is that their children are bored with school.
For most children, the mood of boredom is relatively short-lived, and the child can recover by adjusting his or her mentality slightly. Parents also don't have to be too anxious.
However, some children are really bored with school.
These children hate learning from the bottom of their hearts, hate school, hate class, parents use the "power of the flood", can not let children fall in love with learning, simply let parents gray hair!
Not long ago, I watched a true story.
There was a mother who came up with a "wonderful trick" in order to make her child fall in love with learning, but the result was very unexpected.
The mother's name is Xiaomei (pseudonym), she grew up in the countryside, after marriage, she did not want to stay in the village, she chose to go out to work.
Xiaomei and her husband just started, working in a factory, earning thousands of yuan a month, and the two of them usually saved money and saved some money.
Later, they had their own child, and Xiaomei was very happy.
After the birth of the child, she decided to put the child in her hometown, let her in-laws help take care of it, and went out with her husband to make money.
In fact, Xiaomei is a particularly desperate mother.
She was out of confinement, and on the 3rd day, she went out to work with her husband, and the family did not listen to how to persuade her.
Xiaomei has always had a regret in her heart, that is, her family conditions at that time were not very good, so after junior high school, she chose to go out to work.
She was particularly envious of her classmates, most of whom went to college.
Xiaomei vowed to work hard to make money and let her children go to college.
They send money home every month and make a trip home. Children have lived with their grandmothers since they were young, so they always cling to their grandmothers.
Sometimes, Xiaomei wants to be close to her children, but the children dodge.
For the sake of her child's future, Xiaomei can only have bitterness to swallow in her stomach.
Soon, Xiaomei's son went to kindergarten, still in his hometown, cared for by his grandparents.
The child spent 3 years in kindergarten enjoyable life.
Xiaomei and her husband have been working outside for many years, and they have taken out loans to buy a house, and they can finally live a good life.
Xiaomei decided to take her son with her so that she could see her every day.
After the child went to elementary school, he stayed with his parents every day, but the child was very reluctant to go to school.
Xiaomei was very annoyed when she heard that her children did not want to go to school, because she had been working outside for many years, getting up early every day and being greedy, suffering a lot, in order not to let the children repeat the same mistakes, she made up her mind to let the children go to the big place to study, but it backfired.
Her children's school aversion is very strong and more serious, and sometimes they even lie that they have a bad stomach in order not to go to school.
Xiaomei was almost impatient, in such a situation, she suddenly thought that the reason why the child was bored with school may not have suffered hardships, let the child "try" the taste of suffering, he may feel that going to school is an easy thing.
Xiaomei immediately began to act, but she did not think that her mother regretted it even more after a few days!
At first, Xiaomei took the child to the construction site to move bricks, at first the child was still a little uncomfortable, she thought that the child would not use two days, and she would have to complain bitterly.
I didn't expect the child's strength to be amazing, 1 worker's work, stunned is 2 days to finish, and the speed is getting faster and faster, learning what is more than the child left behind, this time the mother is completely dumbfounded.
Xiaomei cried and laughed, and her plan was also in vain.
However, nowadays, when children have a misunderstanding of part-time work, it is even worse to want children to get rid of boredom.
Why did this mom's approach fail?
Simply put, it is not difficult to help children solve their school boredom, and the first thing parents have to do is to analyze the reasons for their children's boredom.
There are probably several reasons why children are bored with school:
First, the pressure to study is too great.
Second, the expectations given by parents are too high.
Third, being bullied at school.
Fourth, interest in learning is disrupted.
Fifth, children are addicted to games. Wait a minute.
Parents face their children's boredom, do not rush to persuade their children, you can first ask their children their own ideas.
Most children can't tell why they don't want to go to school.
Parents can analyze the child's psychology and personality according to the actual situation of their children, and then prescribe the right medicine.
So how can parents solve the problem of their children's boredom?
Parents learn to keep their mouths shut and stop all negative evaluations of their children
Every child who is bored with school has a common feeling, that is, the feeling of powerlessness in the face of learning.
The frustration of not being able to cope with one's own failures and incompetence.
They want to ask their parents for help, but the parents' incorrect guidance will aggravate the child's boredom.
When faced with children's boredom with school, the top priority for parents is not to solve their children's learning problems.
It is to stop all negative criticism of the child and rebuild the child's self-confidence.
Parents should keep their mouths shut, no matter what the child says, do not easily criticize him.
Even if the child says to you, "Mommy and Daddy, I'm going to herd sheep." ”
Parents should also not give any evaluation.
You can scold the child in your heart for how indisputable, but you don't say it on your lips.
Calmly listen to the child finish speaking. And state how the child feels.
Let the child be willing to speak out and vent all the emotions, which is the first step to change.
Most school-weary children tend to see learning as a great burden.
In their eyes, learning was entirely a thing that made him very miserable and disgusted.
If the child's parents always nag to study hard and study hard, the child will only be more disgusted and more resistant to learning.
On the contrary, if parents do not nag and do not put learning on their lips, children can look at learning with a normal heart.
On the contrary, it can be regarded as a common thing as eating and sleeping, and the more the child can look at learning with a normal mind, he will be interested in learning.
Parents learned to subtract and stopped all extracurricular classes
Parents enroll their children in extracurricular classes in order to let their children learn more knowledge, which is understandable.
However, when their children become bored with school, parents should stop all extracurricular classes. Why?
For example, if your boss assigns you a task, it will be difficult for you, but you will have to do the task in order to complete the goal.
It just so happens that your boss said to you, "In order to improve your business, now arrange for you to learn new business knowledge, you must complete it." ”
Will you be particularly angry that you still have tasks to complete, and then you have new knowledge to learn, then you will develop disgust.
For children, they are naturally curious about things, and when they first start learning, every child is willing to learn seriously.
However, with the passage of time, some children do not like learning more and more because children have encountered some difficulties in learning, and they cannot solve them by themselves.
Coupled with the pressure of the school and the parents, there will be disgust in the heart, and then the disgust will begin to hate learning.
Once the child does not do well in the test, he is prone to fall into a negative emotion that I have failed my parents' expectations, and in such a situation, the parents will enroll their children in extracurricular classes, which will make the children feel more guilty.
Parents should not give their children any unnecessary burden, stop all extracurricular classes, and let children regain self-confidence and a sense of achievement in learning.
Set goals that are easier to accomplish
For example, in this exam, the child has improved by one place compared to the last time, or a few points more.
Parents should sincerely celebrate for their children, so that children can experience the sense of accomplishment of achieving goals.
Because this is the motivation to encourage the child to keep moving forward.
It's like when we go to work and have oversized our tasks, and your leader rewards you and gives you some extra rewards.
Your heart must be very proud, because being affirmed and respected by others makes you feel valued and realize your self-worth.
That's human nature.
Their own children, whether they are learning well or poorly, even if they are the first to last, parents should not give up their children from the bottom of their hearts.
In a child's growth, learning is very important, but the child's positive evaluation of himself, self-affirmation is more important.
As long as the child progresses a little, parents must learn to appreciate him, encourage him, and recognize him.
No matter how good other people's children are, they have nothing to do with us, nothing to do with our children.
Comparing one's own children to other people's children is particularly foolish.
Parents constantly urge their children to let their children learn well, but aside from the pressure of learning, parents alone take "excellent children" to stimulate him, which is enough to make children breathless.
To share an example:
American psychologist Seligman conducted a classic experiment in 1967.
He kept a dog in a cage and turned on the electric shock as soon as the buzzer sounded. Dogs can't escape in cages.
After many experiments, a buzzer stood in front of the elevator and opened the cage door. At this time, the dog not only did not escape, but did not wait for the elevator to appear before falling to the ground, and his whole body trembled.
Puppies could have actively escaped. But desperately waiting for pain to come, which is called learned helplessness.
Similarly, if a person always experiences a sense of failure in one thing, he will give up the effort. They may even have doubts about themselves, feeling that they are "inferior to others, and that is not as good as others", and become self-abandoned.
For example, the child's learning is not good, parents always yell at him, the child will think that the poor learning is his own intelligence problems, no matter how hard it is useless, and gradually appear bored with school, interested in nothing, cold and pessimistic, broken jars, and even depression.
In fact, parents are influenced by the background of test-taking education and hope that their children will study well and enter a good university in the future.
But it is the parents' expectations that make the children gradually feel pressure.
Due to busy work, parents cannot communicate with their children in time and do not pay attention to their children's negative emotions, which makes this emotion constantly ferment in the child's heart and is ultimately difficult to resolve.
Therefore, when the child is tired of school, talk to the child well, communicate with the child well, and listen to the child's inner thoughts, perhaps, parents will not be so headache.
【Topic Discussion: What do you think your child should do if you are bored with school?】 】