Hi guys, good morning. It's the 27th day of early morning.
Today I saw a very sad news, a friend posted a video in the group: a white-haired grandmother and a middle-aged woman crying in the arms of the child. I heard that the child was not good at online classes at home, and jumped down from the stairs after being scolded by adults. It hurts. The whole world was bleak, a living life.
In the previous year, a 17-year-old boy had an argument with his mother, the mother directly parked the car that was in the middle of the road, got out of the car and leaned back in the back row should be saying something to the boy, suddenly the boy suddenly opened the car door, ran wildly to the bridge, jumped directly, the mother could not stop it, so it brewed a tragedy.
Many people say that children's psychology is really fragile now, like the flowers in a greenhouse can't withstand a single destruction. In fact, today's children are completely different from the children of the past, and they accept things that we have not received in the past ten or twenty years. We will find that after the fourth level of English parents can not tutor the English of primary school students, many questions that undergraduates may not be able to answer correctly at once, the child's knowledge is also broader than the previous children, we think of the truth, children basically understand, and parents have been nagging non-stop preaching and constantly accusing, children become very irritable,
They are no longer willing to tell their closest parents about something, because after saying that parents are teaching endlessly, children gradually want to stay away from their parents, no one likes others to nag and preach, and children are even more so. In fact, what children often need most is to understand and accept, to understand their unhappiness and dissatisfaction; to accept their emotions and show that they understand them very well.
I remember that I used to make the mistake of preaching and constantly reasoning, and found that it was useless to say anything, but the child could not listen to it, and immediately locked the door and ignored me. Later, I found out how far I was on the road of educating my children by looking up the information. When children are in a bad mood or angry and other inappropriate behavior, we must deal with their emotions before correcting their behavior.
Like many times, my kids complain to me that the teacher has too much homework and is too difficult, saying how can he finish it. I will immediately say: "Why the same homework can be done by other students and upload a punch card video, you are lazy, just want to play, do not want to do, will find reasons, if you do not hurry to finish the homework, when you will definitely fail the exam." 」 As a result, my child immediately went to his room in a rage, locked the door, and did not even come out to eat. Knocking on the door and no one responded, making himself in the mood to eat, and as a result, everyone was very irritable, angry, and unhappy. Groove pain is not only ineffective, but worse. Until the next day, the child didn't pay much attention to me.
I was also very depressed and did not dare to say anything. I read a lot of parenting books and found that I really needed to change my ways. So later when I encounter something similar, I will say: "That is really depressing, and the homework must make you sad." Me: If it's my homework that's so hard I'll be mad too" Son: Yes. Me: Let's not do it first, let's play for five minutes or ten minutes before we do it. Son: Forget it, let's do it now. The son actually took the initiative to say that he would finish him, which was simply unprecedented. It turns out that the power of understanding is so great. Some educators have said that if the child always does not listen to you, it means that the parent-child relationship is not in place, and you must adjust the way you get along with the child. You find that when you change, so do the children.
Remember the previous 2019 news broadcast that Peking University Doctor Wang Yongqiang had been missing from his parents for more than 20 years and refused to see his 80-year-old mother who was seriously ill for the last time. After the online media found him, he only said: Don't look for him again. It is difficult for all people to understand how there can be such a person without conscience. As the events unfolded, it became clear that his parents had been sucking blood like blood-sucking ants, never sympathizing with or genuinely caring for him. Even his marriage to the professor's daughter was torn apart by a bottomless pit of parental desires. Once Wang Yongqiang did not comply with his parents' requirements, his parents would take his relatives and family members to the school to make trouble, and many times he could not raise his head in front of Tongxue.
Later, Wang Yongqiang thought of fleeing, he went to Japan, his parents also called at both ends of the three days to ask for money, and felt that he earned too little money to fill the human suffering of his family and the seven aunts and eight aunts. The back is really unbearable and completely "disappeared". Later, in order to find their sons, parents went to the door every day to harass the relatives, and the relatives were forced to move. Many people say that he has no conscience, and even his parents who have raised him for decades do not recognize him, that is, he is a white-eyed wolf who is not familiar with him, and so on.
Is it all about the child? In fact, this is certainly not a one-sided reason, mainly because there is a problem with the way parents educate their children and need to be repaired. When I saw this news, I was very sad about how parents forced their children to be like this. If parents continue to squeeze their children with the stick education or moral kidnapping of the past, then the children will often run counter to their parents' wishes. It is said that parents are originals, children are copies, and what kind of parents make what kind of children. If the parents stop and scold the child in the wrong way, the child can only become more and more speechless with the parents. Let go of your terrible desire to control, stand more in the child's point of view, understand the child more, we are their strong backing, not they have difficulties and are not willing to tell us the person closest to us.
Many parents will tell their daughters not to marry a single parent who raises him alone. In such a family, the mother's attachment and control of her son is particularly strong, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is particularly difficult to get along with in the future. Such a mother often thinks that her daughter-in-law stole her son. Life will be difficult or "competing for favors" everywhere. Think about what this mother said seems to have some truth, because I do have around, there is a mother son who is not married every day to urge marriage, after getting married, and said that after marrying his daughter-in-law, his son is getting farther and farther away from himself, and he usually looks at his daughter-in-law's various unhappiness, and finally the son rents another house in the same community for his parents to live, maintaining a bowl of soup distance, and life is instantly much better. As the saying goes, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, children have reached adulthood, parents should not interfere in their children's lives.
Here, Gibran's prose poem "To the Children" is given to everyone:
Your child, in fact, is not your child
They are the children born of life's desire for itself
They came into this world through you, but they didn't come because of you
They are by your side, but they do not belong to you
What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts
Because they have their own thoughts
What you can shelter is their body
But it is not their soul
For their souls belong to tomorrow
It belongs to tomorrow that you can't dream of
You can do your best
Become like them
But don't make them like you
Because life doesn't go backwards
Nor do I stop in the past
You are the bow, and the children are the arrows that shoot from you
The archer looks to the arrow target on the road ahead
He pulls you away with all his might, causing his arrows to shoot fast and far
With a happy mood
Bend in the hands of an archer
Because he loves arrows that fly all the way
I also love the incomparably stable bow
The author Gibran's poem exhausts the love of parents for their children, after all, watching them chase the dreams ahead, they gradually drift apart, and the time that parents spend with their children is less and less as the children grow up.
So cherish this fate, cherish all the days together, the child is the angel sent to us by God, let us also see the young self, let us experience the whole process of life. May parents in the world learn more about parenting, grow up with their children, be wise parents, and may every family be harmonious and harmonious, and the parent-child relationship be healthy and good.
Get up early today for the 27th day, so today's sharing with you about treating children in the right way is over, thank you for your company, we will not see each other tomorrow.