In 2019, an old lady's search notice touched netizens across the country.
The old lady was very ill, she knew that her limit was coming, and before she died, she had only one wish: she hoped to find her postdoctoral son who had disappeared 20 years ago.
Her son, named Wang Yongqiang, went to Japan because of work needs, but never returned. His parents searched for him for 20 years, but never got a word.
After the old lady's search notice was reported by the media, netizens across the country were touched by her tearful eyes and dying pleading appearance in bed, and spontaneously helped the old lady find the son.
The vast number of netizens is unimaginable, and they quickly found Wang Yongqiang, who is already a software engineer in the United States. But what is surprising is that when the other party learned that her critically ill mother was looking for her, she resolutely refused to go back, appearing very indifferent.
This can't help but make netizens feel very angry, and they have accused him of being cold-blooded and ruthless and having no filial piety.
Wang Yongqiang responded with only one sentence: "It is difficult for a Qing official to break the family affairs." ”
So, what exactly caused a Postdoctoral Fellow at Peking University to abandon his adoptive parents for 20 years?
Why would he say such a thing after receiving the accusation?
Wang Yongqiang's parents also accepted interviews and reports from the media after asking the media for help.
When they told the media about the experience of the past 20 years, they said that their son Wang Yongqiang had disappeared after going to Japan.
They said that their son was very talented in reading from an early age, first admitted to the Institute of Physics of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, and later admitted to Peking University for further study, becoming a postdoctoral fellow at Peking University.
In 1999, Wang Yongqiang called to tell them that he was going to take his wife to Japan next because of the needs of work. This is a good thing, and Wang Yongqiang's family is very supportive of his choice. Soon after, because his parents had no money to buy medicine, they called Wang Yongqiang for help.
Without admitting it, Wang Yongqiang did not say a word on the phone, and after hanging up the phone, he not only did not send money over, but he never contacted them again, so there was no news, obviously he did not care about the death or death of his family.
In order to find this "unfilial son", they searched all of Wang Yongqiang's classmates, teachers and colleagues, and finally found Wang Yongqiang's ex-wife's home to inquire.
But the responses of these people to the old couple were all "unclear", and in desperation, the old couple had to call the police for help. Finally, with the help of the police, they learned that Wang Yongqiang had written off his personal identity in China in the year he went to Japan, and since then he has not been able to find this person, and it is not even clear whether he is alive or dead.
The old couple remembered that this son had been hanging on for 20 years, and had been worried about whether he had encountered some accident and had died. Who knows, after 20 years they learned that the missing son had not been in an accident, that he had lived well in the United States, had a decent job, a high salary, and lived comfortably.
Such news naturally dealt a heavy blow to the old couple. When it comes to emotions, Wang Yongqiang's father is full of righteous indignation, and his mother lies on the bed and silently watches with tearful eyes.
When the media saw that they were pitiful, they contacted their son Wang Yongqiang, who was far away in Atlanta, and asked him when he would come back to meet his parents. But Wang Yongqiang's performance was very cold, he told his family not to look for him again, how his mother's condition had nothing to do with him, he would not go back.
Such a reaction not only made his parents very sad, but also made netizens who paid attention to this matter feel very angry. However, in the face of the accusations of netizens, Wang Yongqiang did not explain too much, but responded with one sentence: "It is difficult for qing officials to judge family affairs." ”
In fact, Wang Yongqiang's experience is not exactly as his parents told him to be the "white-eyed wolf" of modern society, on the contrary, Wang Yongqiang is simply another "Fan Shengmei" in the world.
Wang Yongqiang was the second son in the family, and when he was born, the family already had an older brother and sister. His parents gave birth to him with great expectations, because the brother before him suffered from encephalitis and analitis, and the family had no money to treat the disease, leaving him disabled.
Wang Yongqiang's parents are eager to have a healthy son who will help the family earn money and take care of his brother in the future. Wang Yongqiang, who was born with such expectations, did not enjoy the love he deserved from his family. His parents loved and protected the eldest son too much, and unconsciously snubbed Wang Yongqiang, who was the second son.
Although he did not get enough care and affection, Wang Yongqiang was very angry. One thing his parents were right about was that Wang Yongqiang was indeed extremely talented in reading. He is talented, has a good memory, and has quick reflexes, and has always been a famous bully in the local school.
Wang Yongqiang's parents were making a living by selling rat poison in the streets and alleys, and Wang Yongqiang was very distressed to see his parents busy, so he was more active in studying. But what his parents want is a healthy son who can bring wealth to the family and support the family in the future, and does not care about Wang Yongqiang's study.
Wang Yongqiang also took the scores and test papers home to show his parents when he got good results, but the harvest was always impatient and perfunctory, otherwise he simply did not even look at it. In their view, children only need to be able to read and write, there is no need to learn too much knowledge, to stop in moderation.
More than once, they wanted Wang Yongqiang, who was admitted to middle school with excellent grades, to drop out of school to work, which made Wang Yongqiang very incomprehensible. He learned from school teachers and textbooks that "knowledge can change destiny", and he was convinced of this, and he always hoped that in the future, he would be able to completely change the fate of his family by learning to go out of the countryside.
And his parents' approach is undoubtedly to tear down the ladder he climbed upwards, Wang Yongqiang knows that as long as he obeys his parents' ideas, his future can only be a copy of his parents, struggling at the bottom, there is no way out, and then continue to continue from generation to generation.
Wang Yongqiang gritted his teeth and continued to study, hoping to repay his parents with better grades. In order to persuade his parents, he used various methods, and finally he promised to work half-time and read half-time, and his parents only agreed to let him go to high school, but usually they often talked in his ear about the children who had gone to the factory next door to work, saying that other people's children had made a lot of money, but Wang Yongqiang only knew how to read, what was the use of reading so many books?
This made Wang Yongqiang unable to defend himself. Later, he was admitted to Soochow University under the pressure of his parents, and during his college years, his parents hardly gave him any living expenses, but Wang Yongqiang sent home all the bonuses and school subsidies he could get and handed them to his parents, hoping that they would see a change in the money.
But his actions only made his parents worse.
Without the living expenses given by his parents and the subsidies from the school, Wang Yongqiang had to work continuously to earn money. With the money to work, coupled with frugality, Wang Yongqiang can barely maintain the most basic living expenses in school.
When he was admitted to graduate school, the monthly subsidy rose to 72 yuan. This time, Wang Yongqiang hesitated and decided to hide the matter from his parents. After all, he is also an adult, and he also needs to socialize in addition to reading.
But somehow missed the trap, his mother ran to the school to find out the news, went to Wang Yongqiang and made a big fuss, scolded Wang Yongqiang for having no conscience, said that he was unwilling to make money for the family against his parents' will, and even dared to secretly hide money.
This made Wang Yongqiang lose face at school and had to take all the money out and let his mother bring it back.
It was from this time that Wang Yongqiang's mentality began to change.
He couldn't understand why he had paid so much for the family, but he could not satisfy his parents. Why studying and self-motivated is a matter that is beneficial to both parties, but it has not been supported by parents.
His resistance became increasingly serious, and after graduating from graduate school, he continued to study despite his parents' objections, and successfully entered the postdoctoral examination at Peking University. The fame of this famous school finally touched his parents, but their first thought was not to congratulate the younger son, but to let the younger son find a job for his brother.
Wang Yongqiang, who had that ability, rejected his parents and was scolded by them. He was exhausted, but fortunately he knew the daughter of a professor, and the love affair between the two diluted his pain.
But his marriage was not supported by his parents, because they were worried that after his son married a woman from abroad, he would not send money to the family again, and even his son's wedding was not attended, only Wang Yongqiang's uncle came to participate.
At the wedding ceremony, the woman's parents were there, but Wang Yongqiang's side had only one uncle. But after marriage, his parents still did not let him go, and looked for Wang Yongqiang to do things at both ends of the three days, sometimes asking for money, sometimes helping people find relationships.
Wang Yongqiang's wife soon couldn't stand it, she was not unwilling to serve her in-laws, but she didn't support her son's love affair like this, she didn't even participate in the wedding, she still caused trouble for them all day, she cried and made trouble without agreeing, and even the tolerant daughter-in-law couldn't stand it for too long.
She asked Wang Yongqiang, "Do you want them to 'suck blood' like this for a lifetime?" ”
Wang Yongqiang could not answer. His wife was disappointed and filed for divorce from Wang Yongqiang. At this time, Wang Yongqiang had come to Japan, and after the divorce, he was physically and mentally exhausted, and when the phone call from his parents asking for money came again, Wang Yongqiang broke out.
His parents wanted more than just money, they wanted Wang Yongqiang to help the whole family immigrate to Japan. After Wang Yongqiang came to Japan, he also had to work part-time to earn money, and he couldn't do what his parents proposed.
His outburst was somewhat silent, and he remained silent on the phone with his parents, but after hanging up, he turned around and bought a plane ticket to the United States, canceled his Chinese identity, and never wanted to return to his hometown. Wang Yongqiang got married and had children in Atlanta, USA, and finally lived a peaceful and happy life.
It was not until 20 years later, when his social account was found by well-meaning netizens, that Wang Yongqiang learned about his parents' recent situation again.
Although Wang Yongqiang had three or two replies, he never showed up. Even the criticism of netizens who "read so many books for you", Wang Yongqiang was not moved.
His mother's condition deteriorated, and Wang Yongqiang did not come back to see her until her death.
At this moment, Wang Yongqiang's brother and uncle stood up. They all admitted that this matter is actually hidden, and Wang Yongqiang will choose not to have contact with his parents, but also because he was too badly hurt by his parents.
Under the explanation of their brother and uncle, netizens learned about Wang Yongqiang's past, and also understood the true meaning of Wang Yongqiang's sentence "It is difficult for a clean official to judge family affairs", and many people regretted Wang Yongqiang's crazy scolding behavior without understanding the situation before.
However, there are still many netizens who, after understanding the situation, although sympathetic to Wang Yongqiang's suffering, still think that Wang Yongqiang's approach is inappropriate. His life is not easy to understand, but even if his parents ask him for money too harshly or force him to do a lot of things, which makes him feel disgusted, it is also the father and mother who gave birth to him and raised him, and should not be desperate to the end.
More netizens expressed sympathy for Wang Yongqiang, after all, "without the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be kind." What's more, parents like Wang Yongqiang gave birth to him just to take him and wanted to kidnap his whole life.
As the saying goes, mourning is greater than death.
30 years ago, I saw the Father respect the Son, and 30 years later, I saw the Son respect the Father. Wang Yongqiang's parents and the original most prominent children have quarreled to such a point, I wonder if they are ashamed?