If it were you, would you accept that your other half had a confidant of the opposite sex?
With this question in mind, I asked my friends around me, both boys and girls.
"Okay, I have it after all." When I was young, I played well with a boy in the neighborhood, and when I grew up, I still kept in touch, knew each other, shared my thoughts, and felt that there was nothing wrong with it. ”
"No, as long as she is my other half, it can only be me, I am not generous enough to accept that there are others around her." 」
"What blue-faced confidant, red-faced confidant, I don't believe this, in my opinion, there is no pure friendship between the opposite sex to speak of, the so-called heterosexual confidant, just to find a fig leaf for extramarital affairs." 」
After asking a dozen people, only two can accept that the other half have confidants of the opposite sex, which is understandable, after all, this involves the bottom line of marriage, that is, the issue of loyalty.
The writer Schiller once said: "True love is single-minded, and the field of love is very narrow, it is so narrow that it can only accommodate two people to survive; if you fall in love with several people at the same time, it cannot be called love, it is just an emotional game." ”
Whether it is a man or a woman, the most unacceptable thing is that the spouse betrayed himself, stepped on the bottom line of marriage, and stabbed him in the back. Even if you love again, even if you don't want to be separated, once this bottom line is stepped on, even the best feelings will crack, and it is difficult to recover as before.
No one dares to risk their marriage, allowing the other half to have too close contact with the opposite sex, so that they may be betrayed. When they see that the other half is with the other members of the opposite sex, it is perfectly normal to be angry, jealous, and suspicious.
Zhou Guoping once said: "The sense of proportion is a sign of mature love, interpersonal communication, to know how to abide by the necessary distance between people." ”
Instead of complaining that your spouse doesn't trust you and complaining that they suspect you, it's better to reflect on yourself, and if your behavior crosses the line, you can't complain that your other half has to think about it.
"No one should persuade me, I will not forgive her, something shameful, how can I give birth to such a daughter who does not know how to check?"
Hearing Liu Jingjing's mother's angry voice, the people around her did not know how to persuade.
Recently, 26-year-old Liu Jingjing suffered a double blow, first being dismissed by her fiancé, then the wedding two months later was in vain, and she was kicked out of the house by her mother. However, all this can not blame anyone, only herself.
01.
Liu Jingjing was divorced three days ago.
At that time, Liu Jingjing's mother Aunt He was watching a TV series at home, and suddenly saw the future mother-in-law with the son-in-law to visit, felt very surprised, when ready to entertain them, Liu Jingjing's mother-in-law said her intentions: "Jingjing her mother, it is really not that we are rebelling, but I just found that our two families and three views are not compatible, not suitable for marriage, and your daughter is not suitable for my daughter-in-law, so it is better to cancel the marriage!" ”
The daughter was suddenly divorced, aunt He felt unacceptable, more strange, after all, in the previous contact, the mother-to-be also shown to like her daughter.
Whether it is the 80,000 dowry, or the purchase of a house in the provincial city, as well as the wedding process such as wedding dresses and wedding rings, the mother-to-be is very good at talking, giving them the respect that the family should have, making her feel very satisfied.
Therefore, Aunt He patiently listened to the reason why the other party wanted to withdraw from marriage, and as a result, she was angry with her daughter Liu Jingjing.
"It's not that we're rebellious, it's not that my son is empathetic and not in love, but your daughter is too bad, as an unmarried girl, what male girlfriend she had before marriage, it was already very outrageous, and now, she is about to get married, and she can't let go of people's homes, learn that people are sick, run to people's homes for half a night to visit, lonely men and widows in the same room, stay for one night, does she have my son in her eyes?" Does she care how my son feels? I would like to ask, how did your family teach their daughters? ”
Daughter has a boyfriend? Are you going to get married and spend a night with your male girlfriend, an orphaned man and a widow? Listening to the accusations of the mother-to-be, Aunt He was incredulous, called and ordered her daughter to come back immediately to explain clearly.
02.
After Liu Jingjing returned, she saw her mother-in-law and boyfriend in her own home, everyone's face was not good-looking, not only did not explain what was going on, but as soon as she came up, she asked her boyfriend: "Why don't you just refuse to believe me?" I really just talked to him all night and we didn't do anything! ”
After listening to her daughter's words, Aunt He had to believe that what the mother-to-be said was true, and she was so angry that she angrily roared at her daughter and questioned her daughter what was going on.
It turned out that the daughter's male girlfriend was called Lin Tao, the two people met in elementary school, sat at the same table for three years, and later entered the same junior high school, the same high school, and went to the same city to study in college, the fate is quite deep, and the friendship between the two people has been maintained until now. In Liu Jingjing's eyes, Lin Tao is his good buddy and confidant.
However, probably because the two people are too familiar, Liu Jingjing has never had love for Lin Tao. Two years ago, Liu Jingjing met her boyfriend and came together with him.
Liu Jingjing has a blue face confidant, the boyfriend soon found out, for this, he is very rejected, can not accept, many times persuaded Liu Jingjing to break off relations with him.
Speaking of this, the boyfriend also spoke: "Half a year ago, I quarreled with you, because you went out with him, did not return overnight, I was angry and wanted to break up, you begged me, I softened my heart." At that time, you obviously deleted him in front of me and stopped contacting him. I really didn't expect that you would add him later. ”
"I didn't have anything to do with him that time, I just went to sing, it was because your heart was too small, I had to make trouble, I had to delete him, and it wasn't us who was wrong."
03.
Speaking of the reasons that led to Liu Jingjing's resignation, last week, the male girlfriend Lin Tao sent a message to Liu Jingjing, telling her that she was sick and felt very uncomfortable, hoping that Liu Jingjing would come to see him.
"He's here alone, he has no girlfriend, no relatives, he's pathetic, I just want to do my duty as a friend and comfort him."
Therefore, Liu Jingjing first went to the pharmacy to buy medicine, and personally cooked the dishes that the male girlfriend loved to eat, went to the male girlfriend's house, chatted with him, and the more the two people chatted, the happier they were, and they chatted all night.
When honestly explaining the incident, Liu Jingjing is still a dismissive attitude, thinking that the boyfriend is too stingy, so angry that her fiancé dropped a sentence of "be careful with your eyes, jealousy is too strong, whatever you say, anyway, I can't afford a wife like you, we won't see each other again" and left.
Liu Jingjing's mother-in-law also got up and retired, and when she left, she hoped that Aunt He would talk to her daughter well. However, Aunt He did not reason with her daughter, but gave her daughter a slap and drove her out of the house.
First dismissed from marriage, and then driven out of the house by her mother, Liu Jingjing was even more depressed and did not understand what was wrong with her.
04.
Balzac said: "The happiness of marriage is not entirely based on prominent status and property, but on mutual respect." ”
To be honest, can this blame Liu Jingjing's fiancé for getting angry and wanting to quit the marriage? Not to mention the innocence between Liu Jingjing and the male girlfriend, it can be seen from Liu Jingjing's behavior of ignoring her boyfriend's opinions and having to continue to maintain close contact with Lin Tao, that she does not respect her boyfriend at all, acts arbitrarily, and makes her boyfriend feel extremely disappointed.
Whether it is love or marriage, once there is a lack of respect, there is no need to continue.
As for the question of innocence, know that the premise of others trusting you is that you are trustworthy. If you hadn't crossed the line and done something that made others suspect you, it wouldn't have caused so much turmoil.
END.
XiaoQi asked you to comment: Do you think Liu Jingjing was wronged by being divorced and expelled from the house? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.