Children who obey their parents in childhood often begin to communicate with their parents and make confrontations when they reach adolescence.
Among the problems encountered on the road to parenting, the rebellion of about 2 years old is not a big deal in the eyes of parents, and puberty is the stage that makes parents the most headache.
Sugar Mom found that whenever adolescence is mentioned, the words that impress everyone most are rebellion and willfulness. But teenagers should be the most beautiful age for children, and if they do not deal with the problems at this stage, it is likely to affect the child's life.
Girls have some "doing" after puberty, and the examination finds that it is depression
Sugar Mom remembers that in junior high school, there was a female classmate who often took leave. At first, the parents said that she was hooked on online games and was ready to take a break at home for a while in order to quit her addiction.
About a month later, the girls returned to school. Internet addiction did quit, but her personality also became eccentric, and teachers and classmates were afraid of provoking her.
She was not the best student in her class, but she was previously recognized as polite and disciplined, so she also served as a disciplinary committee member of the class.
But since being locked up by his mother at home to quit Internet addiction, the whole person has become very grumpy, and occasionally cries in class. The teacher found that the situation was not good, so he communicated with the parents about the specific performance of the girl.
Parents feel that girls are only more "doing" in adolescence, as long as they continue to strictly discipline, they can't get too used to her.
The teacher is worried about the girl's state, affecting life and learning. Parents are advised to take the girl to the hospital for examination. After learning the results of the examination, the parents were confused, and it turned out that the girl already had moderate depression.
Adolescent children are not "doing", but reaching the "sensitive age"
The heart of an adolescent child is made of glass, hard to the touch, but shattered when it is knocked. And because of the inherent stereotype, everyone thinks that adolescent children are rebellious and ignore their true feelings.
The sensitive age of children is 14 years old, which is also known as the legendary "dangerous age". Boys are most likely to fight and learn badly, and girls' personality changes are also very large, and they are more "done" in the eyes of outsiders.
It seems that some "doing" is actually because of the following categories, small things in the eyes of outsiders, it is easy for children to have depression.
1) Emotional setbacks during periods of ignorance
One of the major manifestations of adolescent children is the emotional excitement, when they are no longer like elementary schools and kindergartens, just like to play with a person, but the idea of being together all the time.
In fact, the feelings of adolescence are also very pure, but due to age problems, they are often considered by parents and teachers to be early love. Once the signs are spotted, the child is blamed or even abused. Not only are feelings frustrated, but self-esteem is also hurt, laying hidden dangers for depression.
2) Be particularly concerned about changes in your appearance
During puberty, the child's body changes, the girl comes to menstruation for the first time, the chest slowly develops, becoming more and more mature; the boy begins to grow throat knots, the height jumps, and there are many little secrets hidden in the heart.
Some children don't care about physical changes, they may become more beautiful and handsome in adolescence, and some of the previous disadvantages are slowly made up. But there are also some children who have fat and acne in adolescence and have a taste on their bodies.
Children who have a change in their body will become very inferior, dare not see people, dare not talk to others, and even be ridiculed by their classmates, and over time develop depression.
3) Deterioration of relationships with parents
The child is always the child, he will not become bad because of puberty, or become a bastard in the mouth of the parents. Many children have deteriorating relationships with their parents during adolescence and are not entirely at fault for their children.
During primary school, if children are willful, they can also be deterred by the power of their parents. But children reach puberty, basically in middle and high school. Not only have they become more self-aware, but their physical abilities are also growing and even surpassing their parents.
This leads to their reluctance to be bound by their parents' discipline and to prove in various ways that they have grown up. But in the eyes of parents, children are always children, and a series of practices are not bad, but they also make children a little depressed.
When children are constantly denied and disapproved, or when parents degrade their personality, children will not only be irritable and rebellious, but also plant the seeds of depression in their hearts.
Don't let your child get knocked down during adolescence, parents remember to do so
Harvard research found that 80% of a child's lifelong counterattack is completed during adolescence.
As children's learning pressure in middle school increases, there are also some feelings of confusion in the face of life. Don't let your child's adolescence be shrouded in depression, start from the following aspects.
Explain the basic changes of adolescence to children in advance, sugar mothers have been very surprised by a set of data, many children do not understand physiological knowledge after college, and they do not understand the changes since puberty.
This knowledge is included in the teaching materials, but for many years the teacher is embarrassed to talk about it, and the students are embarrassed to listen, so they neglect to educate children in adolescence.
Intimate topics are more suitable for people who are close to each other, and mothers can tell girls about their upcoming menarche and breast development, so that children are mentally prepared; fathers can tell boys about puberty, some special changes in the body.
Change the way of communication, so that children have people to trust and rely on, when the child is very young, the parents are 100% trustworthy people for him, so they have happy and sad things, they will find the parents to tell it at the first time.
When children are adolescence, parents should also listen to them more, do not directly deny their children's ideas, and discuss the reasons and psychology behind them. The child regards his parents as the person who can solve the problem for him, and will not go home and be killed again after being wronged outside.
Parents "pull out" the hidden dangers of adolescence and grow up with boys and girls
The process of "raising a baby" is also the process of parental growth, adolescent children, pay more attention to what others think of themselves, the purpose of parents is to find out the hidden dangers mentioned above, and build up children's confidence and security.
For example, physical development is a necessary process for everyone, even if you are fat now, it doesn't matter, you can slim down through hard work.
When encountering difficulties, we must tell our parents that when parents are also growing up in the education of adolescent children, they will find that the original precarious parent-child relationship will become better unconsciously.
Stop using negative words such as paranoia and rebellion to evaluate adolescent children. Think about the past, they were also the good babies who were well-behaved and cute and loved very much.
I hope that every family with adolescent children can have a good parent-child time and make adolescence a good memory for everyone.
【Today's topic】What are the performances of the adolescent children around you?