The survey found that in nearly 80% of families, the elderly are the "main force" with babies.
Nowadays, it is not a new thing for old people to help with children. But in a family with two elderly people, the way they take the children will inevitably be compared.
Sugar Mom found that young couples began to make various evaluations of whether the old man's love was "sincere" or not. Measure the practices of the elderly by the standards in their own hearts.
However, due to the differences in parenting methods between the elderly and young people, some small misunderstandings are easy to make the elderly chill.
Bao Mom complained about her mother-in-law's "fake pain baby", which made her husband dissatisfied
Some time ago, the neighbor's small two quarreled, the reason is that bao mom feels that the mother-in-law's usual pain performance of the child is "pretended".
Bao Mom said that every time the mother came to buy things for the child and spend money, the mother-in-law just moved her mouth to say that she liked the eldest grandson, in fact, when it came to spending money, it was "a dime".
Every time the mother-in-law takes the child out to play, the child has something he likes, and the mother-in-law will refuse the child to spend money on the grounds of "too expensive and useless". On several occasions, the child complained to his parents that grandma would not buy snacks for himself.
When The father saw the child say this, he taught the child that it was not easy for the grandmother to earn money. Unfortunately, Bao Mom believes that the old man just has money and is reluctant to let the child spend it is a "fake pain baby" approach.
The couple argues, and the husband is dissatisfied with Baoma's complaints. In one breath, he let the old man go back to his hometown. So as not to take the baby for a long time, the more contradictions there are.
The old man does not spend money on the child, and is there a relationship with the "fake pain baby"?
Young couples evaluate the standards of the elderly with children are different, but a closer look will find that many people are concerned about whether the elderly are willing to spend money on their children.
This kind of example sugar mother is not the first time to see, usually there will be many parents private messages to me, think that the elderly do not spend money, is not to love children.
Even think that the old man only makes promises, but does not really spend money on the child, is a manifestation of hypocrisy and stinginess, so how to ask the child to honor them in the future.
For this problem, if I had no children, I would have felt that the old man was a little stingy. But after giving birth to a baby, I learned that sometimes the elderly are not willing to spend money on their children, but also for the good of their children.
My grandmother usually does not advocate spending more money on children. In the words of their older generation, spending too much money on children is a "blessing" for the children.
This kind of reason is not easy for young people to accept, but everyone cannot completely deny the practice of the elderly. Because compared to not spending money, the following ways are the performance of the elderly's "fake pain baby".
These kinds of behaviors of the elderly are really "fake pain babies", which are more worrying than not spending money
In the process of children's growth, they not only need material sufficiency, but more importantly, what kind of education they have received.
Some elderly people spend a lot of money on their children, but the children they bring out are not educated, do not know how to be grateful and reciprocal. Some elderly people really don't spend money on their children, but they can bring their children well, and everyone praises them.
"Provoking" the parent-child relationship is one of the manifestations of the fake pain baby
Some elderly people in the process of taking children, either because of dissatisfaction with their daughter-in-law and son-in-law, or because of their own personality reasons, can really do "a set of face to face behind the set".
Although they are good to the child on the surface, they provoke the relationship between the child and the parents behind the scenes. For example, parents ignore him, and will only honor the elderly in the future, and play a very bad example for children.
Eccentricity is the "fake pain baby", and neither child benefits
In a family, it is also possible for an elderly person with two children. If the old man is really frugal because of his habits, then he will not spend too much money on both children.
If it is a "fake pain baby", he only spends less money on one of the children, but he is very willing to show another child.
In fact, such eccentricity is not good for both children, children who spend less money are wronged and feel unfair; children who spend more money feel taken for granted, and the requirements may become higher and higher in the future.
Bottomless coddling of children is the "fake pain baby"
After having two children, Sugar Mom deeply feels that the elderly are principled and serious when taking children, but it is better than spoiling children without a bottom line.
In the process of taking the baby in the next generation, the former may make the child cry more, but the child gets the education he deserves. The latter makes the children happy every day, but there are no rules and tutors to speak of.
If the elderly follow the child's wishes in everything, it looks like love, but it is actually a "fake pain baby", laying hidden dangers for the child's poor education in the future.
Just because the old man doesn't spend money on his children doesn't mean he doesn't hurt his children
Love is not a superficial form, if the elderly are only willing to spend money on their children, but usually do not care about teaching children's small problems. Even go out to play mahjong, square dance, ignore the children, and what is the point of spending more money.
What's more, the elderly have reached the stage of bringing children, most of them are already older, and many elderly people do not have too much pension and pension money, and it is reasonable to be reluctant to spend money.
In other words, as long as the elderly help the young people with their children, they are already very grateful. You can't force them to prove that they love their children by spending money.
Whether it is a grandmother with a baby, or a grandmother with a baby, since it has contributed, the daily expenses of the child should be borne by the young couple themselves, otherwise the elderly have a lot of pressure.
When evaluating whether the elderly are willing to spend money on their children, they must not only consider the economic conditions of the elderly, but also reflect on whether they are good to the elderly. Sometimes the elderly are reluctant to spend money, indeed because there is no need.
To live a family life, you don't have to buy what you like. If the elderly are principled, do not spend money indiscriminately on children, but will let children develop good habits.
Candy Mother's Heart:
Someone helps with the baby, and the young couple is out fighting, which is the happiest thing. People's hearts are mutual, and although the old man loves the next generation, he is always disliked and questioned.
【Today's topic】Do you think that if the elderly do not spend money on their children, they do not love their children?