Shortly after Lin Zhixue and Gu Wei had just established a relationship, Shao Jiang once said something to her:
"I've always liked you, from high school to now, but at that time I thought you were still young, I don't know what our future will be like, and I don't know if I can... Anyway, I didn't tell you at the time, and I regret it now. School, if I had told you at the time, wouldn't we all be together? I think it should be us together. ”
To tell the truth, Shao Jiang is really quite a good person, and I think that if Lin Zhixue is really with him, he should also be happy.
But, as Lin Zhixue said, there is no if. Lin Zhixue chose Gu Wei after all.
And this choice, if you want to measure according to the world's eyes, Gu Wei and Lin's schools are actually not as good as Shao Jiang and Lin's schools. So where did Shao Jiang lose? It wasn't until I finished watching the finale of "The Rest of My Life, Please Advise" that I finally figured out this question.
nature.
Gu Wei and Lin Zhi's school, from acquaintance to marriage, this series of processes is relatively compact. Of course, there is the influence of Lin Zhixiao's father's illness factors, but in the final analysis, it is Gu Wei's decisive and crisp personality that plays a decisive role.
Gu Wei is the kind of man who is very crisp and clean, and does not drag mud and water. He likes Lin Zhixue, and he will not hesitate to confess that he will not look ahead like many men, fear of rejection, or fear that his family will not accept it, and so on.
It is precisely because of his personality that he can smoothly and quickly establish a romantic relationship with Lin Zhixue and then enter the marriage hall. If he had changed another person, even if he had the same feelings as Dr. Gu for Lin Zhixue, I am afraid that the results would be very different.
Looking at Shao Jiang, he himself said that he had liked Lin Zhi School since high school, but at that time, Lin Zhi School was still young and uncertain about the future, so he did not confess.
On the surface, this seems to be a responsible attitude, but in the end, it is actually the indecisiveness of his character. He had a lot of scruples, so he missed the best opportunity.
Of course, it is not that his personality is not good, but that when facing Lin Zhixue, his personality is obviously not as advantageous as Gu Wei.
Lin Zhi School is a very simple, very frank little girl personality, she is not suitable for hiding. For her, love is love, not loving is not loving, being good to you is good, not being good is not good, and the method of showing love with one appearance to cover up another essence is doomed to miss the opportunity.
And Shao Jiang liked her from high school to now, but until people fell in love, this looks at some people, maybe it is a long-term affection, and here in lin school, it will only be inappropriate.
There is no need to say that it is an encounter at the wrong time, if it is the right person, so many years, how can you find the right time. Nothing was found, more, due to his character.
Fit.
Love, in essence, is the love of two people. A couple, from love to marriage, in this process, personality is very important, but no matter how good your own personality is, it is not in tune with each other, and it is also a white match.
Therefore, whether two people can eventually come together, fit is a very important consideration.
As we said before, Gu Wei and Lin's schools, according to the world's point of view, are actually not so matched. Gu Wei is a doctor, but Lin Zhi school loves music, Gu Wei is more than 30 years old, but Lin Zhi School has not yet left the campus. On the contrary, Shao Jiang and Lin Zhi schools are closer in terms of hobbies and ages.
However, we can experience different feelings from their state of being together.
When Gu Wei and Lin Zhixue were together, people felt full of ease and sweetness, although there was no particularly obvious common hobby between them, they could talk about anything, and no matter what they talked about, there would be no feeling of being very blunt and divided, even if they sat face to face and did not speak, they could overflow with happiness.
What about when Shao Jiang and Lin Zhixue were together? Although the two of them share common interests, there seems to be nothing else to say but to talk about music and playing. Even when talking about this kind of topic, Shao Jiang always has a posture of a senior and a brother, making it difficult for the other party to let go.
That's the fit. Two people with a high degree of fit will be more in tune and more comfortable together, and will not fall into awkward silence or perfunctory perfunctory because you say that the other party is not interested, nor will it make the other party feel oppressed because of the tone and attitude of one party.
Obviously, Gu Wei and Lin Zhi's school had a higher degree of compatibility.
From this point of view, even if Shao Jiang chose to confess in the first place, he may not be able to come together with Lin Zhixue in the end, the same reason, it is not that he is not good enough, but that he lost in the other party that does not have a high enough fit.
Security.
If you were to ask me what girls value most in choosing a mate, I would tell you without hesitation: it's security.
Lin Zhixue had not known Gu Wei for a long time, but he was able to enter the marriage hall with him very firmly, and a very important reason was that Gu Wei gave her enough security.
Before they got married, Lin Zhixue's father once asked Gu Wei, "Can I trust Lin Zhixue to you?" ”
Gu Wei gave this answer:
"Since the first day I was with Lin Zhixue, I have already regarded her as my wife, even if life is impermanent and things change, I will work in this direction, I will definitely spend the rest of my life to protect her."
Gu Wei said the same thing not only to his father-in-law, but also to his parents and colleagues. It can be seen that he did not deliberately say this to reassure his father-in-law, but he really thought this in his heart and did this.
What could be more secure for a girl than a guy running to get married from the first day of dating? In fact, many times, what girls want is not to enjoy the glory and wealth with you, but to want you: no matter what the future holds, they will accompany her.
And this is exactly what Shao Jiang lacks. Shao Jiang has refused to confess to Lin Zhixue for so many years, precisely because he has some concerns about the uncertainty of the future, perhaps from his point of view, he just wants to give Lin Zhixue a better future, but, as Gu Wei said, life is impermanent, and who can say that the future is accurate.
When you are with a person, you should not only think of enjoying the beauty of the future, but you should be prepared, no matter what the road ahead, you must not give up. This is the attitude that a man who can really give girls a sense of security should have.
In this comparison, Gu Wei is far more secure than Shao Jiang, so it is not difficult to understand that Shao Jiang, who looks very good, still loses.
epilogue:
In the past, I have always felt that to achieve a love, it is indispensable to be in the right place and place.
Until I saw the happiness of Gu Wei and Lin Zhixue and Shao Jiang missed this fate, I suddenly realized that the so-called time and place are actually not a passive waiting, but an active struggle.
Where Shao Jiang loses, whether it is personality, fit or security, in the final analysis, it mainly depends on himself. If he had realized this long ago, the outcome might be different and unknown.
However, there is no if in life, and love is the same. So we should try to do better from the beginning, so that when you encounter a feeling that you want to cherish, there is more possibility to grasp.
About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of articles in the emotional field and the analysis and answer of emotional questions, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.