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There is a saying that says: Marry someone and do not marry a phoenix man.
The so-called "phoenix man" generally refers to the male who is admitted to college through personal struggle, leaves the relatively poor living environment, and remains in the urban life circle.
In fact, in the past, "Phoenix Man" was a positive word, at that time, college students were relatively scarce, and the students who could break through the cold window from a small place were all one of the best.
Just like Song Yunhui in "Great Rivers and Great Rivers 2", he not only knows people, but also can apply what he has learned and break out of the world in the city.
At that time, the phoenix man, who belonged to a rare corner, was synonymous with high-quality talents.
01. Can a phoenix man marry?
Nowadays, university education is widespread, and college students are everywhere.
There are also many masters and doctors from small places. The threshold of the phoenix man is low, the number of people is large, and the quality is inevitably uneven.
After some phoenix men entered the circle of urban life, the weaknesses in personality and the shortcomings in running marriages were exposed. Therefore, there is the phrase "marry someone and do not marry a phoenix man".
In fact, this sentence is more like a prejudice. Because in any group, there are good quality and bad quality, and it is obviously unfair to overturn a boat of people with a pole.
However, this sentence can be spread, indicating that this topic resonates with many women and has a certain universality.
On the Internet, some people have listed many reasons why they cannot marry Phoenix Men, such as Phoenix Men's inferiority, conceit, pedantry, filial piety, calculation, lack of psychological boundaries...
In fact, the same applies to any man who applies these reasons for not being able to marry.
I think that a man, as long as he has good character, three views, positive self-motivation, strong plasticity, and deep thinking habits, whether he is a phoenix man is actually not the most important.
Of course, if in order to reduce the sunk cost, it is also a choice to avoid the phoenix man directly when choosing a mate.
02. Visit your boyfriend's hometown
The boyfriend of netizen Yang Xi (pseudonym) is a phoenix man from a remote town.
Boyfriend Liu Chen (pseudonym) is 3 years older than her, and has been in a relationship with her for nearly two years, and the relationship has been relatively stable, and both of them have plans to get married.
As the saying goes, find a woman to see the mother, find a man to look at the family.
Although Yang Xi does not mind that Liu Chen is a phoenix man, but marriage is a lifelong thing, she is more cautious, and she has always wanted to go to the man's original family to see before getting married.
During the Spring Festival this year, with the support of her parents, she finally got her wish and went to Liu Chen's hometown. However, after returning from Liu Chen's hometown, she was ready to break up.
Because she found that Liu Chen had changed into a person after returning to his hometown.
In the city, Liu Chen is a humble and humble person, cautious and cautious, very frugal in life, even a meal, will be careful.
However, in his hometown, Liu Chen became very generous and generous. Moreover, Liu Chen was extremely arrogant and vain, and seemed to enjoy the feeling of being touted and envied.
03. Pulled into the family group by the phoenix man
What really broke her guard was actually a small thing.
In the two days when she was in Liu Chen's hometown, Liu Chen pulled her into the family group. After she made an appearance in the family group, she has paid little attention to the dynamics in the group.
On that day, she saw that the family group was very active, so she casually clicked in and found Liu Chen handing out red envelopes in the group. She looked at it for a moment, and she was suddenly a little angry.
Sending red envelopes in the family group is originally just an atmosphere, in general, the amount of red envelopes will not be too large. In fact, other people in the group are quite normal, and the amount of red envelopes does not exceed 30 yuan.
However, Liu Chen generously sent 9 200 yuan red envelopes.
Moreover, under the praise of relatives in the group, Liu Chen has no sign of stopping. Although Liu Chen is indeed one of the more prominent relatives, he originally studied at the 211 college, and the current work unit sounds quite loud.
But in fact, Liu Chen's income is not high, 9 red envelopes of 1800 yuan, equivalent to a quarter of his after-tax monthly income.
The reason why Yang Xi was angry was because when discussing the specific matters of marriage at Liu Chen's house before, she learned that Liu Chen, who was usually very frugal in eating and wearing, only had 120,000 savings for 7 years of work.
Moreover, Liu Chen's parents also said at that time that the family was more nervous, and they could not help with getting married and buying a house.
She understands that Liu Chen has many brothers and sisters in the family, Liu Chen's parents have not earned much from farming for a long time, and after consulting with the family, she agreed to use Liu Chen's provident fund loan to buy a house, and the down payment of the house is paid by her family.
Although the problem of the house is solved, what should I do about the decoration of the house, furniture, appliances and other marriage costs?
In addition, the city where her family is located also has the custom of receiving a bride price.
Liu Chen means that decoration, furniture, and home appliances can be installmented, and as for the bride price, let her go back to discuss relief with her parents.
04. After watching him generously send 9 red envelopes, I was ready to break up
Yang Xi is not a material girl. However, she tried her best to find a way to get married, and Liu Chen, who was already financially strapped, spent money lavishly for a few hypocritical praises when she needed money most when she was getting married.
She was mentally unbalanced. When they were together in the past, she knew that Liu Chen's family was not well-off, and rarely asked Liu Chen to invite her to eat a big meal, give her holiday gifts, and take the initiative to share the cost of love.
Unexpectedly, after Liu Chen got used to her efforts, he gradually became at ease, and was very generous to people related to him, but he was stingy with her.
After Yang Xi saw that Liu Chen had generously sent 9 red envelopes, he could no longer bear to make a phone call. Liu Chen said that the group was full of relatives of his own family, and it didn't matter if he sent a few red envelopes in the New Year.
She said: "You are posing in front of your relatives, or you can be fat and fat, provided that you have to take care of your own home first, we have been dating for so long, we have never seen you so generous to me." ”
Liu Chen was stunned for a moment, and then explained:
"Trees want bark, people want faces, my parents for our children, a lifetime of humble knees, looked down upon, it is difficult to cultivate me, of course I can not lose face, the most important thing for men is dignity, you don't understand." 」
Yang Xi was a little angry and said, "How reliable can the dignity piled up with money be?" Your life is good, your life is happy, that is the most important thing. ”
Seeing that Liu Chen was silent, she continued: "My parents also need dignity, and if they marry their daughters without a bride price, they will be looked down upon..."
Liu Chen was suddenly anxious and said: "Marriage is two people working together to create a new home, to invest together, the value of men is generally reflected in the later stage, the early stage can work more, you invest more, I invest more in the later stage." If everyone is preoccupied, they will not be able to go together at all. ”
The more Yang Xi thought about it, the more aggrieved he became, and asked, "When you say that you want to be in the same boat with me, you are actually just looking for someone to help you support your home and your face." ”
After a big fight with Liu Chen, she was ready to break up.
There is a saying on the Internet that says:
Men who are willing to spend money for you may not necessarily love you; but men who are unwilling to spend money for you must not love you.
Although this sentence is too absolute, a man, if he regards money as more important than you, he must love himself.
All marriages that make people feel warm and happy must have love. Having love for you will put you in a very important position.
A man, whether he is a phoenix man or not, if he ranks you behind your parents, siblings, relatives and friends, face, and money, he is not worthy of your marriage.
Well, today is here, I hope that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Yu'er, please pay attention to me, give the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~