A bowl of water is flat, easier said than done, no one can do absolute fairness and justice, many times, you think you have done it, in fact, you just think you have done it. The standard of fairness and justice given by each person is different, and in the same case, it can only be less calculated.
As long as you have a calculating heart, how can you pick the reason, and fairness and justice, but also depends on the situation, environment and conditions, not you have this heart, you can be leveled.
Why bother? At the end of the day, profit is the way it is.
There are many friends around, gave birth to two sons, in their own words, do not worry about life, do not worry about raising, only worry about getting married later, how to deal with the relationship between family members.
A mother-in-law to a daughter-in-law may be inseparable, and one more person needs to consider and maintain, think about it.
Share the experience of a person who came over: What kind of experience is it to have two daughters-in-law? Summary of the 53-year-old mother-in-law.
1, too difficult to do.
The two sons are brothers, do not care, have tolerance, and are accommodating, but after a man gets married, he can only be regarded as half a man, and the other half must listen to his daughter-in-law and be influenced by his daughter-in-law. Therefore, it is normal to fight for their own reason and profit, and perhaps everyone cannot be an exception.
But because of this, it is difficult for the mother-in-law to be sandwiched in the middle, be nice to her, give something, and the other one is angry, saying that it is eccentric, mainly money and children.
The eldest son married first, the bride price was given less, but the house was larger, and the younger son got married after the bride price, and the bride price was more than 20,000, but the house was a little smaller.
The two daughters-in-law were often dissatisfied, biting the amount of the bride price and saying to each other that the in-laws were eccentric.
In addition, about the matter of taking children, when the eldest daughter-in-law gave birth to a child, she was young, had energy, and took care of more, and when the daughter-in-law gave birth to a child, the energy was not enough, the body was uncomfortable, and the care was not much, and the result was that the daughter-in-law said that in the end it was still good for the boss.
There are also young sons and daughters-in-law who work in public institutions, and later the mother-in-law takes the children full-time, and will also be complained about by the eldest daughter-in-law. Occasionally, when the eldest daughter-in-law has an affair, the mother-in-law has to take the child of the younger daughter-in-law to the eldest daughter-in-law's home, thus causing emotional dissatisfaction.
Although they are all small things, relatively speaking, the family is harmonious enough, but it is also very annoying and very difficult to do.
2, very hard.
Always accommodating two children, wanting to balance the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I can't think about myself at all, and sometimes I will wronged myself. Occasionally, I wanted to go out and live my own life, but with the consent of my two daughters-in-law, the nature became a leave of absence in the work content.
It is inevitable to think that there are more children, and it is really a burden.
When I was young, I thought that it would be good to stay up until middle age, and no matter how tired I was, I had hope, and I looked forward to my son growing up, starting a family, completing my task, and I could shake my hands and live my own free life. The ideal is good, but the reality is cruel, unless you can be so hard that you don't hesitate to offend your two daughters-in-law.
From the eldest son to get married, the mother-in-law began to take the child again, after the big one with the small, it was difficult to bring the children up, and then began to take turns to pick up and drop off from school, cook and wash.
There is no time of his own, no life of his own, and the focus revolves around the small family of his two sons.
3. Extremely complex.
When families encounter things, including land acquisition, there are more people who express opinions, and these people who express opinions are still people that you have to consider.
Let's take a simple example.
For a certain thing, it is only about two people, and here it only involves the will, ideas, and opinions of two people, and it is easy to take it in the end. But when there are three more people and four people, this matter is not easy to negotiate the result, conflicts are the norm, and there are more conflicts of position.
So as long as there is something going on in the family, it is a mess, everyone holds their own position, each person holds their own ideas, you say a word to me.
So who do you want to listen to? Whoever listens to this person will offend that person, and if neither of them listens, he will offend both of them.
Of course, there are good places, when really encountering difficulties, everyone has people to discuss and help, the key is those small things, easy to accumulate into big contradictions.
4, there is happiness.
There are thousands of kinds of happiness, freedom is a kind of happiness, ease is a kind of happiness, losing freedom and ease, being under the knees of children and grandchildren is also a kind of happiness. Especially during the New Year's Festival, the mother-in-law will feel a special satisfaction and vanity, because there are many people in the family and the popularity is strong.
On the contrary, compared with those cold and cold families, this is more worthy of envy, of course, it has paid a lot of hard work in exchange.
Therefore, there are advantages and disadvantages to everything, people's happiness is not given by children, and when one day they really live a life full of children and grandchildren and bear the knees of joy, that sense of happiness is unparalleled and irreplaceable.
Hard work is real, happiness is real, pain and happiness, that's about it.
The process of bringing children is hard and stressful, but the child's naughtiness, cuteness, innocence, and also a kind of nourishment for their own spirit. It's like, you can't get married for the sake of getting married, and you can't take the kids for the sake of having kids, and feel it with a different mindset.
In fact, it is still quite real, the most stressful place may be the increase in family members, for family affairs, there is one more person's thoughts, opinions and opinions, the key is that you can not not consider. Between two people, it is relatively easy to level a bowl of water, and between three people, a bowl of water is flat.
After the son gets married, he has his own family, it is normal to focus on his own family, and the soft-hearted parents will help share some, but in the face of the situation of the two sons, they have to share.
Perhaps only when children reach a certain age can they understand themselves, but the calculation and willfulness of young people are inevitable, which is also part of the pressure.
At least a small friction cannot be avoided, after all, life is not completely separated, there is no same experience, and it is difficult for us to put ourselves in the position of someone to look at the problem. It is very important to do a good job in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, maintain a good sense of proportion and distance, and do not worry about each other's difficulties.
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