01
It is said that the daughter is the most intimate little cotton jacket of the parents, and it is true that the parents have been enjoying such a beauty when the daughter is a child, but when the daughter enters adolescence, it seems that everything has changed.
After the daughter entered puberty, she seemed to have a hostile relationship with her parents. Whatever the daughter does, the parents can't see it well; what the parents do, the daughter can't see it. In the face of the rebellious problem of adolescent daughters, we can often see parents wailing on the Internet, all complaining that their daughters do not know what to do and torture their parents.
However, how many parents really know what their daughters are thinking at this time?
02
Yesterday, a netizen shared in today's headlines the monologue of her daughter's rebellious stage after she spent puberty, which was simply unbelievable.
(1) Shallow scars on the wrist.
Recalling the process of her daughter's adolescent rebellion, her mother described it this way: "She often quarreled with me, and I didn't say a word about her, so she immediately got angry and dropped her chopsticks, and then slammed the door to the room to continue to drop things." I was often angry and crying, and during that time I felt that every day was gray. ”
At the same stage, does the daughter feel better?
The daughter showed her mother the scar on her wrist, which she said she had cut with a blade after arguing with her mother. He also told his mother that he didn't know why he was angry at the time, and sometimes he even felt that he couldn't control his emotions.
(2) At that time, I felt that there was no point in being alive.
For mothers, children's small fights are small things, but the decline in academic performance has become a pain that is difficult to swallow. To this end, she also spent a few thousand yuan to enter a group dedicated to learning how to deal with adolescent children, trying to let the children successfully enter the key high school in the third year of junior high school.
And the children? Who has the heart to focus on learning?
My daughter recalled: "I saw that everyone was not happy, I felt that life was not happy at all, and even the mother who loved me the most became the worst mother." I felt that there was no point in living, and I wanted to jump off the building several times, but I didn't want to live. ”
03
In the words of the mother, after listening to her daughter's self-report, she was scared out of a cold sweat. She has always stressed that she did not expect things to be so serious at that time, although her daughter has now safely passed her adolescence, but she still wants to share this and wake up more parents to pay attention.
Xi Xi's mother believes that after reading this adolescent girl's monologue, we should at least understand the following points -
(1) It is important to pay attention to the child's mental health.
Her girlfriend has been a left-behind child since she was a child, living a long-term life under the fence, which makes her extremely eager for father's love and maternal love. But many neighbors in the countryside always like to talk nonsense, such as: "Your parents definitely don't want you, so they don't take you with them." "They must have had a younger brother with you and will never want you again."
With a longing for her father's love and mother's love, she finally looked forward to her parents back in the first grade of junior high school. As the neighbor said, he did bring home a younger brother who was waiting to be fed.
She herself is extremely eager for the care of her parents, and she is instructed by her parents to do various housework every day, and she has to bear severe criticism if she is not clean. Every day, he was asked to take care of his younger brother, and if his brother fell, he would inevitably have a stink and a blank stare.
In her words, when she looked at the pesticides used to kill crops next to the shoe cabinet at home, she often stood there against the wall in a daze, and countless times she wanted to drink and cut it off.
Adolescent children are sensitive and vulnerable at heart, and they also want their parents to care about their own existence, rather than pointing fingers all the time. Therefore, it is really important to pay attention to the mental health education of adolescent children.
(2) Give your child a buffered environment.
Families have sons, and many parents may not worry much about other aspects except academic performance.
But there are daughters at home, and parents must not only pay attention to their children's academic performance, but also pay attention to their children's dating circles, teach children self-esteem and self-love, and so on. It is precisely because of this that parents are eager to keep their daughters in place, for fear that their daughters will fall into the mud with a mistake.
But adolescent girls, more eager for freedom, eager to be able to get rid of the nagging environment of their parents, eager to be able to stay away from the days when their parents open their mouths and shut their mouths are all scores, and eager to escape from the life of their parents who have to worry about any small thing.
What about many parents? The more I watched my daughter rebel, the more I wanted to tie my daughter to the waistband of my pants, resolutely not let my daughter live in school, and insist that my daughter go home on time. But in fact, when the relationship between parents and daughters is already very tense, and they have to quarrel without saying two sentences, it is also a wise choice to let their daughter change her living environment.
First of all, children also need a certain amount of free space, and long-term under the supervision of their parents will make children feel very depressed. Secondly, after the child lives in the school, he is surrounded by peers, and everyone can be understood by everyone who talks to each other, which plays a key role in venting the child's dissatisfaction. Finally, as the saying goes, "far away and close to smelly", when each other has some distance, both sides can see each other's good.
(3) Shut up is the best way to deal with it.
When it comes to adolescent daughters, countless parents are anxious. Like what:
"My daughter is in her third year of junior high school, and I am experiencing it. Children in the first and second grades are more obedient, and their studies are also very serious, and as a result, they begin to do various works in the third year of junior high school. I was so angry that I hadn't spoken a word to her for half a month, nor had I asked her any questions, and I really couldn't see a little hope. ”
"My daughter has now entered a rebellious period in the first year of junior high school, and she and I often quarrel, and her grades have suddenly regressed a lot. She couldn't listen to what I said, it was really annoying! ”
"My daughter became more intense when she entered the third year of junior high school, and sometimes she scolded me, just like a devil."
Getting along with adolescent daughters is like a mother-in-law relationship with a discordant mother-in-law. Obviously, both sides are not accustomed to each other, and they have to force one of them to listen to the other, is this not an obvious impossible thing?
Learning to shut up is the best way for parents to cope with their adolescent daughters! Accept the child's small emotions, accept the child's frizziness, because at this stage of the child, the body is experiencing rapid development, and some inexplicable bad emotions are normal.
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Finally, I would like to advise parents: If you push your adolescent children too urgently, your children may really be depressed!
How old is the mother of your child? Going through adolescent rebellion? What is your confusion? Say it, let's help you analyze it together!