Yi said that the gathering place for women's growth, may you not wear armor, you can resist thousands of life is not easy, welcome attention.
Zhou Bingkun in "The World of Man" is really enthusiastic, he can say to his friends and family that he can help and carry it, because he knows Zheng Juan and finds a lover who has walked together for a lifetime, because he and Qu Xiuzhen have become friends for a long time.
Because of his enthusiasm, he makes the people around him feel warm, and he is also a group of buddy friends who come to help. The most difficult time for the Zhou family was when the Zhou family's mother was unconscious, and Zheng Juan wanted to support the family for Zhou Bingkun alone, and a group of friends of Zhou Bingkun often came to help them get through the difficulties. Zhou's father suddenly fell ill, and it was also this group of friends who helped to send him to the hospital.
This is the warmth of the human feelings of the light word film, but the help under the sensibility will inevitably give rise to many contradictions and problems, look at Zhou Bingkun, you know that in the adult world, there are three kinds of help can not help, not only no human feelings, but also may exhaust the feelings of friends for many years.
One does not help with children
Zhou Rong sent her daughter Yue Yue back to her parents' home because of an accident of her husband, but she did not expect that her mother also fell ill and fell ill, and Yue Yue never took it back for various reasons, so Zhou Bingkun and Zheng Juan took the child for their sister, and the area was more than ten years.
If it is said that Zhou Bingkun raised a child for his sister, it was a helpless move for a reason, then in reality, the things that take children for others should be done less and not done, because the responsibility is too great.
Hao Dongmei wanted to help her sister and brother solve the difficulties of the in-laws, and told her mother to let Yue Yue come to the house to live temporarily, hao Dongmei's mother Jin Yueji was a very rational person, and she refused to take a bite. Jin Yueji's reason for refusing is very simple, although Yue Yue is fourteen years old and does not need too much care, she is a child after all, and she needs to be responsible for living at home.
Jin Yueji's words are very easy to understand, on the other hand, if there is an accident in the child's home, how do they give an account to Zhou Bingyi, how to give an account to Zhou Rong's two mouths, how to give an account to the Zhou family, and now the refusal is only to offend Zhou Rong, making Zhou Bingyi unhappy, but if the child really has an accident, it is more serious than the consequences that make them unhappy now.
Therefore, even if Jin Yueji liked Yue Yue later and let Yue Yue come to live at home temporarily, once she found that Yue Yue and Nan Nan might fall in love, she immediately sent Yue Yue back to Zhou Rong's house.
In fact, Jin Yueji is very reluctant to Yue Yue, but she knows very well that loneliness is a matter for her alone, which can be overcome, awkward or responsible is a matter of both sides or parties, and there is no way to rely on one person to overcome and solve.
Therefore, the matter of helping others with children is beyond the scope of interpersonal help, because responsibility is more important than rejection. Rejection is just a temporary lack of friends, and responsibility is likely to change a person's life trajectory and destiny.
Here can't help but complain, has not understood Zhou Rong's approach, can go to the sister-in-law to let Yue Yue live in someone else's home, and did not think about how to clean up their own small house, in that era, the practice of separating a house into a small house is also very common.
The second is to save the emergency and not help the difficulties
Regarding the matter of helping, for that kind of emergency, people will have the first reaction to lend a helping hand, which is understandable, the meaning of mutual help is that you have a tricky matter that you can't solve, and I just happen to have the ability to solve it with you, which is perfect.
When Jin Yueji rejected Dongmei's proposal to let Yue Yue live at home temporarily, the first sentence was, how long is it to live for a period of time? She said that if the children of friends and colleagues want to live at home, even if it is a month or half a year, it is okay, the key is that Yue Yue comes to live temporarily, there is no deadline.
Borrowing for a few days is the solution to the urgent matter, and can help; indefinitely staying temporarily is the solution to the difficulties and cannot help.
This is what can save the emergency but cannot help the difficulty, just like the emergency is not to save the poor is a truth.
Zhou Bingkun didn't care about these things, he only knew that these good friends had helped him, and he should help them with any ability, and as a result, he met someone like Wu Qian.
Xiao Guoqing's sister returned to the city, the family house could not live, just Zhou Bingkun also bought a big house and moved out of the light character piece. Therefore, Zhou Bingkun let them borrow the house. There is no time limit for this loan, and Xiao Guoqing and Wu Qian also think that this house can be lived in forever.
Unexpectedly, Zhou Bingkun's big house was taken back, and he had no place to live, so he had to get the house back. At this time, Zhou Bingkun was particularly embarrassed, and he also bought gifts to tell Xiao Guoqing about moving. Wu Qian could not accept this reality, directly lost control of her emotions, blamed Zhou Bingkun, and threw the canned food she sent to the ground.
In this matter, Wu Qian is indeed unclear about the boundary and is messing around, but from another point of view, this is also the reason why Zhou Bingkun did not think about the problem when he first lent the house to live. That is, this house can live indefinitely.
It is a good thing to save people and help people solve difficulties, but in the adult world, things that can be solved with one-time help can be done, and things that cannot be completely solved need to be solved by myself, rather than relying on you to carry all the troubles for him.
Third, you can't help repeatedly
Zhou Bingkun for the help of things, let Wu Qian turn his face and scold him, why? Because he helped them too much, so much that wu Qian would think of Zhou Bingkun as soon as she had difficulties, and let Zhou Bingkun help them solve it.
Zhou Bingkun first helped Wu Qian and Xiao Guoqing solve the housing problem, and then arranged for Wu Qian to work in the bookstore. A house and a job are solved by the most important things in their lives, which are things that involve survival. It is also because of these help, indefinite housing, and stable work that Wu Qian and Xiao Guoqing have no sense of life crisis.
Therefore, when Sun Xiaoning resigned and left the bookstore, Wu Qian went to Zhou Bingkun at the first time and asked xiao Guoqing to be arranged into the bookstore. This time, Zhou Bingkun did not agree, because it violated the employment system for the husband and wife to work in a bookstore.
Wu Qian didn't care about these things, she thought that she was so difficult, Zhou Bingkun must solve it, and she must be responsible for the end. Wu Qian's mentality, in addition to selfishness, is more of an inertial thinking, in addition to looking for Zhou Bingkun to help, she can no longer think of how to solve the difficulties in life, it can also be said that she can not get out of the comfort zone of her current life.
Repeatedly give help to a person, it is easy to have such a problem, and finally turn the help into a should and must, once no longer give help, but will blame you, turn the face into an enemy.
Of course, not everyone is like Wu Qian, who also borrowed a house to live in first, and then solved the work problem of his sister Sun Xiaoning, sun chaochao and Yu Hong never asked Zhou Bingkun. They know that all that Zhou Bingkun can help has already helped, and then there are difficulties that need to be overcome by themselves, after all, their lives depend on themselves.
As for Zhou Bingkun, he never regretted that he had helped his friends, even if Wu Qian was so unreasonable, he still helped Xiao Guoqing find a temporary job as a janitor. In his heart, friends are helping each other, and everyone's life can get better and better. This is the touching and warm place in human nature.
Jin Yueji's ideal can indeed keep her away from a lot of troubles, but it also makes her feel lonely in the cold, and she will also envy Qu Xiuzhen, saying that she is good at mingling with the masses, in fact, behind this is the choice of helping and not helping.
In reality, helping does need to be divided into situations, and cannot be generalized. Dou Mien, is there less trouble with rice revenge?
(The pictures are all from the screenshots of the TV series "The World of Man", if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)