Wen | Wu Qingqian
When it comes to the marriage itch, many people first think of the word seven-year itch, probably the movie "Seven Year Itch" starring the famous Hollywood movie star Marilyn Monroe is too famous. But in fact, marriage seems to be more than a seven-year itch, if the couple belongs to different classes, different types of people, and is not willing to communicate and understand, no matter how many years of marriage will encounter a marriage crisis, just like Hao Dongmei and Zhou Bingyi in the TV series "The World", after more than thirty years of marriage, they are still divorced. The couple is not right, one is a small woman who is content with a small life, and the other is a big man who is determined to do big things, and they quarrel in front of misunderstandings, and eventually make a divorce storm. They have also walked together for more than thirty years, experienced countless ups and downs, but in the end they still lost to the chickens and dogs in life, and had to let people sigh, and this also poked at the pain of contemporary marriage.
In the Spring Festival of 1973, Li Suhua watched the eldest son Zhou Bingyi marry Hao Dongmei, and the marriage of his daughter Zhou Rong and Feng Huacheng was also approved by Zhou Zhigang, and he planned to open the marriage of his younger son Zhou Bingkun, and wanted to bring Zhou Bingkun and Qiao Chunyan together. As a result, Qiao Chunyan changed her mind, and in order to get Cao Debao, she also created the illusion that Cao Debao drilled her bed. Fortunately, Qiao Chunyan did not come together with Zhou Bingkun, otherwise under the calculation of this woman who could make profits, the Zhou family brothers would not fall out, and the Zhou family concubines could not be harmonious, but they were afraid that Hao Dongmei would have to divorce even more.
From this time node, it can be inferred that Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei married in 1972. When Hao Dongmei and Zhou Bingyi divorced, it was when the demolition plan for the light character film was about to come out, and then in the blink of an eye into 2004, the demolition announcement in the light character film public notice column was one after another. From this point of view, Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei divorced in 2003, that is, the two had been married for thirty-one years. In the corresponding name of the marriage age, thirty years of marriage is called pearl marriage, thirty-five years of marriage is called coral marriage, Hao Dongmei and Zhou Bingyi's marriage is between thirty and thirty-five years, and close to thirty years, it should still belong to pearl marriage.
Zhou Bingyi is the son of a worker's family, originally a Shandong family, his ancestors moved to Jichun to escape the war, originally also Shuxiang Mendi, and then due to the compulsion of life, to Zhou Bingyi's grandfather's generation has broken the incense of books, but the father Zhou Zhigang is very lucky, although Zhou Zhigang himself has no culture, but because of his high consciousness, he turned over in New China and became a worker, Zhou Bingyi has achieved seven levels of work when he got married, and the Zhou family has gradually prospered again. Hao Dongmei is the daughter of a high-ranking cadre family, and is not an ordinary high-ranking high-ranking cadre, but a particularly high-ranking high-ranking high-ranking cadre - Hao Dongmei's father, Hao Jinlong, is the governor of Jiangliao Province, and her mother Jin Yueji is a provincial cadre.
Obviously, these are two families that are not on the same class, according to the world, the door is not right, so Zhou Bingyi when he was young was inferior to this love. But Hao Dongmei didn't care, and was determined to be with Zhou Bingyi, and they fell in love when they were still middle school students. Later, in the face of ten years of turmoil, Hao's father and mother were persecuted, Hao Dongmei became a girl from a downcast high-ranking cadre family, and was more eager to marry Zhou Bingyi, who came from a worker family (the representative of the workers' family, Gen Zheng MiaoHong), and at this time, it was not Zhou Bingyi who was inferior, it was Hao Dongmei's turn. However, Zhou Bingyi did not dislike Hao Dongmei because of the exchange of status, still with her, and later gave up the opportunity to be transferred to deputy political commissar Ming as a secretary for Hao Dongmei.
Originally, as long as he was willing to end his love affair with Hao Dongmei, a girl from a bad background, he could become a secretary and have a good future for development, and Yao Lisong, who was also an officer in the Propaganda Section of the Third Division of the Jiangliao Production and Construction Corps, also tried his best to persuade Zhou Bingyi to put his career first, but Zhou Bingyi still decided to give up the opportunity for Hao Dongmei to go to the side of Deputy Political Commissar Ming. In fact, Hao Dongmei is not absolutely beautiful. When the news came out that Zhou Bingyi had given up being a secretary for Hao Dongmei, many men and women in the nearby production team were curious about what kind of national color Hao Dongmei was, and how he could make Zhou Bingyi give up his great future, and they ran to Hao Dongmei's production team to see what was going on, and after seeing it, they were disappointed and went away, thinking that Hao Dongmei also had such a posture in their production team. It can be seen that Hao Dongmei is indeed not a closed moon shy flower, but Zhou Bingyi is not good at color, and does not care whether it is absolutely beautiful.
It is also this legendary story, and then there is Hao Dongmei love Zhou Bingyi, when Hao Jinlong and Jin Yueji were reinstated, although they did not approve of their daughter's marriage in their hearts, they still accepted Zhou Bingyi, even if they later interceded for Zhou Bingyi for Cai Xiaoguang's college, they still did not beat the Mandarin Duck. However, he only reluctantly accepted Zhou Bingyi, and never accepted the rest of the Zhou family, including Zhou Bingyi's parents. After the 1980 Spring Festival gift-giving Oolong, Hao Jinlong and his wife did not mention the matter of meeting, so the two families were in Jichun for twenty years, and they had never met once, which made Zhou Zhigang grumpy and did not let go until before he died.
Hao Dongmei originally loved Zhou Bingyi very much, and seeing that Zhou Bingyi did not abandon himself during the ten years of turmoil, and gave up such a good opportunity for development, after his parents and officials were reinstated, they also listened to their own living in the compound of the provincial party committee, which could be described as a dead heart for Zhou Bingyi. Even if her parents disliked the Zhou family and were dissatisfied with Zhou Bingyi's intercession for Cai Xiaoguang and Zhou Zhigang's delivery of tea, they obviously felt that the Zhou family treated her worse than Zheng Juan because she was the status of the governor of the province and did not pay much to the Zhou family, but they were still bent on living well with Zhou Bingyi. Even if Zhou Bingyi later went to the military factory and was transferred to Hayang and Beijing, she herself was frightened and feared, and she endured the separation of the two places for many years. It was not until he later lost his job as the director of obstetrics and gynecology, and Zhou Bingyi always had no time to take care of her after applying for transfer back to Jichun, that he broke out and wanted to divorce Zhou Bingyi.
Hao Dongmei, who was lonely in Jichun after Jin Yueji's death, planned to resign and go to Beijing to accompany Zhou Bingyi. When she made her resignation report and completed the handover of work with the new obstetrics and gynecology director who took her place, Zhou Bingyi called her and told her that he was going to transfer back to Jichun as mayor and secretary of the municipal party committee. This made Hao Dongmei very passive, and had to continue to work in the hospital, but instead of continuing to be the director of the obstetrics and gynecology department, he went to the newly established physical examination department of the hospital and led a group of retired and re-hired doctors and nurses to work. Although the work of obstetrics and gynecology was her favorite job, the dean also tried his best to keep her in her original post and continue to be the director of obstetrics and gynecology, but Hao Dongmei refused. There should be the following two considerations, one is that the work has been handed over, the successor has been started, because the husband came back to suddenly grab the position back, not authentic, it is a serious harm to the new director of obstetrics and gynecology, and the second is that the reason why the dean retains is not because of her medical skills and reputation, but because the dean must also know that Zhou Bingyi wants to return to Jichun as a parent official, where dare to let the new official's wife go to the physical examination department where there are few willing to go to the physical examination department for the elderly. Neither out of morality nor to avoid falling into the tongue can not remain in the same position.
If Zhou Bingyi returns to Jichun and spends more time with his wife and communicates with his wife, Hao Dongmei may not file for divorce. But after Zhou Bingyi returned to Jichun, he was more involved in his work than before, as if the earth could not move without him, not only did not care about the body, regardless of the serious stomach disease, but also had no time to take care of his wife, in the face of his wife's anger from time to time, did not ask the reason, but also said that she was particularly anxious, is it menopause.
When Zhou Bingyi learned about her going to the physical examination department, he was not only uncomfortable, but also blamed her for not greeting him first and leaving no room for him to do things. At this time, Hao Dongmei couldn't help but get angry, saying that she had always listened to her mother Jin Yueji's words, and if she couldn't help, don't help it, whether it was Zhou Bingyi going to the military factory, Russia, or later transferred to Hayang and Beijing, she silently supported it. Zhou Bingyi instructed her to take good care of his younger brothers and sisters, and she was also responsive to everything and went all out, without any ambiguity. She studied medicine for eight years, performed countless surgeries, became a knife in the obstetrics and gynecology department of the provincial hospital, and felt that she was also a leader in her job, but in Zhou Bingyi's eyes, she was a person who took it for granted, a person who should pay for him and sacrifice for him at any time.
Zhou Bingyi also felt that he was very wronged, and he also paid and sacrificed a lot. Hearing his wife say this, she couldn't help but pour bitter water. The first is to listen to Hao Dongmei's words and live in the Hao family and feel deeply wronged. You may not understand it if you are a high-ranking cadre family, but the people of the whole world know that it is called entering the fold, that is called inverting the door. Your parents are unwilling in their hearts, but my parents are willing in their hearts? They were afraid that I would be embarrassed and didn't say anything, but they didn't say that I should be treated as if I didn't have this, I was the son of Zhou's family, could I? It is true that before Zhou Zhigang died, it was only he himself who released his nostalgia for his relatives, and Zhou Bingyi did not release his feelings for his in-laws, always blaming himself for not being the eldest son, making his father feel uncomfortable for twenty years. Although he lived in the Hao family, his parents-in-law supported him and taught him, but their support and teaching, including living in the big house of the Hao family, did not have the feeling of sending people under the fence? The second is that because of Cai Xiaoguang's affair, he was deeply wronged by Hao Jinlong for a long time. He admitted that Hao Jinlong was right to be wary of him, but it made him hate himself, hating himself for being small, incompetent, and humble, "and let his parents be implicated, otherwise they would not have been able to meet with their high-ranking relatives until they died." ”
Hao Dongmei was even more angry when she saw Zhou Bingyi say this, thinking that Zhou Bingyi was very resentful, and it was not easy to endure for so many years, and said that Zhou Bingyi had said so much and had not yet said his most important grievance, that is, she could not have children, and Zhou Bingyi did not have her own children for her. Although Zhou Bingyi has regrets that he does not have children, he is not yet to the point of being wronged, or even regarding it as the most aggrieved, otherwise he would not be angry and say "you say yes.". At this time, Hao Dongmei, only angry and irrational, took this as the truth and filed for divorce in one breath.
This remark hurt Zhou Bingyi's heart, and he did not go home for several days. Hao Dongmei was even more angry, but the divorce was only talking, otherwise she would not have sent Zhou Bingyi to change clothes. When she was sent, she saw that Zhou Bingyi was too involved in talking about work with young female colleagues, and she was jealous of this, thinking that her husband at this time wanted to be single, so he wanted to do whatever he wanted, and he proposed divorce again, and zhou Bingyi went to handle the divorce procedures. Or Zhou Bingyi was generous, saying that she was his dearest relative, they had been so many years, she could casually say such a thing as divorce, and she didn't know if she was gambling or really didn't want to live with him, and then took out his diagnosis. Hao Dongmei learned that her husband had early stomach cancer, and people did not mess with her, which reconciled.
In this divorce farce, there are actually problems with both sides.
First, the matter of work transfer does not communicate with each other and makes up their own minds. The two decided to transfer jobs for the sake of husband and wife together, the original intention is good, of course, Zhou Bingyi applied to return to Jichun there is another reason, that is, to demolish the light character film, do some practical things for the hometown. Just the lack of good original communication will cause misunderstanding, because both sides do not greet each other before deciding to transfer the work, which leads to Hao Dongmei losing the position of director of obstetrics and gynecology. After the misfortune, if Zhou Bingyi was comforting rather than accusing, perhaps Hao Dongmei would not be so angry.
The second is mutual incomprehension and inconsiderateness. First of all, Hao Dongmei is the only daughter of a high-ranking cadre's family, and it is not she who lives in her spouse's house, but her husband Zhou Bingyi, and she cannot possibly feel zhou Bingyi's inverted insertion of the door and the detention of Hao Jinlong and his wife under the fence and being guarded by the high-ranking Hao Jinlong couple. Although it is a new society, in the 1970s until the New Jubilee, men who have their doors upside down will still be looked down upon. However, Hao Dongmei neglected her husband's feelings in this regard, less understanding and understanding, and the other party thought that the other party was resentful when he talked about this matter, as if Zhou Bingyi should not complain.
Secondly, although Zhou Bingyi attaches great importance to feelings, he also loves his career, and when he achieves such a high position as the secretary of the municipal party committee, his career and body are no longer his alone. Moreover, before Zhou Zhigang's death, since Xiao Guoqing's father died in the coal mine, he was very dissatisfied with Zhou Bingyi, a high official, who had failed to solve the problem of housing shortage in guangzi and more places, just like he himself and Zhou Bingkun were fishing, if he could not solve the problem of food and clothing for the people, even if he became a provincial-level cadre, his father would not be happy. Deciding not to let his father's second hometown Jichun be left behind forever, he too much wanted to do something for the people during his term of office, reverse Jichun's backward appearance, and improve people's livelihood. But Hao Dongmei does not understand her husband in this regard, she is just a small woman who wants to live a good family, not a big woman like Jin Yueji who does it herself and also assists her husband to do big things, and the pattern determines that Hao Dongmei cannot understand her husband. What's more, after arriving at the physical examination department, I am not busy, I am idle, and I have more time to think wildly, watching my husband busy with work all day long, ignoring my body and myself, and I am angry and want to sleep in separate rooms.
Of course, Zhou Bingyi also has his own problems. On the one hand, it is an objective problem, he knows that Hao Dongmei is different from Jin Yueji, but the busyness of work, the limited spirit, coupled with the thousands of problems at work, a bunch of problems waiting for him to solve, so that he always has no energy and time to care for his wife, once he returns home, he can't help but get angry when he faces his wife's anger and accusations, and his wife says ugly words, and he can't help but shake his grievances out.
On the other hand, it is a subjective problem, and Zhou Bingyi lacks consideration and expression for his wife. For example, on the matter of work transfer, if he said in advance, did not approve the organization, Hao Dongmei would not be so embarrassed, the resignation report was beaten, the work was handed over, and the result was not gone, the scalpel was picked up after eight years of study, practice many times, and was respected and recognized, suddenly there was no job, and it was fifty years old, the knife could not be picked up again, and it was no wonder that she was angry. For example, the pain of his wife alone in Jichun is also rarely expressed, only to Zhou Bingkun said, your sister-in-law has been alone at home for many years, home is the place to go back to sleep, the stove is cold, I understand her pain, but similar words are rarely said to Hao Dongmei, no wonder Hao Dongmei is so angry that she wants to divorce.
Whether it is Hao Dongmei or Zhou Bingyi, in their marriage, they have paid each other a lot, and there is no big mistake, some are small problems, small flaws, but many marriages are dead from these problems and flaws. How many people in love can be desperate, regardless of the difference in family class, regardless of the views of outsiders jokes, swearing that the sea is rotten and broken through all obstacles together. Can enter the marriage, with the chicken and dog fragments wave after wave, what job changes, often overtime, often not at home, do not engage in some sweet ceremonies, other people's husbands more than you can't do, other people's wives thirty-five or a flower you yellow face wife, quarrels, mouths or cold war will become a daily routine, if the two sides of the family background, growth environment differences, more misunderstandings. At this time, if they did not understand and communicate with each other more, they would be divorced like Hao Dongmei and Zhou Bingyi. You must know that not all men are Zhou Bingyi, when they quarrel until they are dead, they will be soft, and not all women are Hao Dongmei, saying divorce, but also sending a change of clothes to their husbands, so after the trouble, they are really divorced. In recent years, our divorce rate has risen repeatedly, and many couples have left in this way.
From the divorce storm of Hao Dongmei and Zhou Bingyi in "The World of Man", we must understand the following three philosophies of life: There is really nothing wrong with the door, whether it is a man or a woman, if you want to achieve a class leap through marriage, you must be prepared to understand each other and quarrel with the gap between the two families; and even if the door is right, if you are a small woman or a small man, if you marry a career-oriented person, you will have to suffer the pain of staying alone in an empty house, if you are a big woman or a big man, But if you marry someone who lives a small life, you must be able to tolerate each other's small devices, otherwise it will end early; and even if the door is right, and it is the same small person or big person, then learn from Zhou Zhigang, Li Suhua or Hao Jinlong, Jin Yueji, the little person learns from the previous couple, understands and tolerates each other, and the big person learns a couple after school, supports each other and completes it, otherwise even if it is not separated, it is a bitter word.
This article is original by the theory of Qing Asa, welcome to pay attention to, together to explore the connotation of entertainment life!