1, I put Moutai wine in a mineral water bottle, went to the restaurant to eat, just happened to meet a few years have not seen the hair small. I gave Fa Xiao a full glass, Fa Xiao took a look, thinking it was loose wine, a little

1, I put Moutai wine in a mineral water bottle, went to the restaurant to eat, just happened to meet a few years have not seen the hair small. I gave Fa Xiao a full cup, Fa Xiao looked at it, thought it was loose wine, a bit of a look of contempt, but still drank. After a while, he couldn't help it and said: Waiter, come to the bottle of Maotai. Then he unscrewed the lid and filled each other with a cup, took a sip and said, "This is much more comfortable to drink." ”??

2. Often enter and leave the chairman's office alone, and are fired by the chairman's wife. After losing my job, I wandered the streets all day looking for a job. When I was wandering around today, I met my cousin who I hadn't seen for a long time. I asked, "What have you been up to lately?" Cousin: "I work part-time in the hospital, two times a month, about 600 yuan!" Me: "You can earn three hundred yuan a day!" Cousin: "You can also go part-time!" I asked in surprise, "Does the hospital want me like this?" The cousin was very sure: "Of course I want it!" Donate plasma twice a month, everyone wants it! ”

3, very cryptic jokes, the IQ to understand is generally above 200: a woman has three good friends, one surname Gao, one surname Li, one surname Chen. A few months later, the girl gave birth to a son, but the woman did not know whose son it was, and was worried about the name of the child, and a professor named the child: Guo Chunhai. Female smell, great joy. - Do you understand?

4. Today, I went to the examination room of subject three to proctor the exam, and the younger brother came up as a big sister. The whole process went smoothly, and the car pulled over and was about to finish the exam. Suddenly there was a bang of throttle, I was suddenly pushed into the seat, the car spun out several meters, a sharp brake, I was lying on the storage box in front of the co-driver. Only to hear the eldest sister come lightly: "I'm sorry, I used the throttle as a brake." "Scared me for a while.

5. Lost his daughter-in-law A also folded the soldiers. Recently, the family arranged for his cousin to go on a blind date, this time he actually met his first love of that year, and the two people actually chatted about special speculation, as if they were in love, with endless words. After they finished eating together, the cousin immediately called the matchmaker, thanked the family in particular, and sent a red envelope of 188 yuan to express his gratitude. After a while, the matchmaker returned a phone call to her cousin, saying that her first love did not look at him, and scolded her, introducing what kind of things...

6. I negotiated a big project of 500 million yuan for the company, so the boss rewarded a box of Maotai. My father-in-law asked me how much this wine cost, and I said dozens of dollars. In the morning, my father-in-law called: Xiaoming, the last time you sent me that wine, last night I drank well, you get me a few more boxes, drink all the drinkers, say ok, I give my own money... Alas, this is the old wine of Moutai, dozens of dollars where do I buy it? So I told my father-in-law: The distillery has closed down, the director of the factory has eloped with his sister-in-law, and these bottles of wine were still snatched from the warehouse.

7. Ah Xi of college married a rich wife. Once, a few people in our dormitory came out for a supper and found Ashie strange. Ash had been drinking, taking a few sips of wine, taking out his pocket watch again, reading it and continuing to drink. Several times and three times, Xiaoming couldn't help but ask: "Why do you keep looking at the time, is it because you are worried about going home late and being scolded by your wife?" Ash opened his pocket watch and said, "This is a picture of my wife, and the moment she becomes gentle and delicate proves that I am drunk and unconscious." ”

8. The wife is the only daughter of the family, and when she got married, her father-in-law married a BMW 7 series. After marriage, the car has always been driven by my wife, I bought an electric car, usually riding the tram to work. Yesterday, when I was going home from work, it suddenly started pouring rain outside! I didn't bring a raincoat and dripped chicken at home. Then I got cold and the sneezes were one punch after another! My wife was very distressed, and quickly helped me find clothes to change, and I took a towel to wipe my hair, and I was very touched in my heart! I don't know why, my wife suddenly slapped me, and then yelled: Tell me honestly, what a good thing you did outside, how so many people think of you... I was speechless for an instant, could it be wrong to sneeze?

9. Me: "Why divorce your wife?" Man: "We don't have a common language, I don't like her." His words made me know that he was a misbehaving person. Me: "What possessions do you have in your family?" The man tried to monopolize the family property, saying: "The courtyard is a piece of sheep, a piece of sheep, a piece of flour, and so on." I said, "For the sake of justice, the courtyard is divided among your wives, and the pieces are distributed to you; the sheep are distributed to your wife, and the pieces of sheep are distributed to you; the flour is distributed to your wife, and the pieces of flour are distributed to you..."

10. After graduation, I worked hard and finally became the manager of the company, but the problem of singleness has not been solved. My parents really couldn't stand it and arranged a lot of blind dates for me. I haven't been idle for a week, and I've seen seven of them before and after. In this way, I met my childhood playmates, the lesbians who had no contact with primary school, the nieces of my uncle's brothers, the nieces of my neighbor's aunts, and the daughters of distant relatives of the uncle in the front yard. Finally, I actually met the girlfriends of my two good brothers!

11. After dinner, I was lying on the window playing with my mobile phone, when the leader suddenly called me to play mahjong together, and I hurried over. It was more than 12 o'clock, and the leader had been losing and we were embarrassed to stop. It was finally until four o'clock in the morning, and I won the most. When I got home and was just about to go to bed, I received a text message from the leader: "Come to the company at 5 o'clock in the morning, there is a very urgent project, and the report must be written before 8 o'clock in the morning!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #