1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you

1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you get mine. I sneered and ignored it. The class leader came over and said, "Old classmate, last time you borrowed me 3 million, can you pay it back next month?" "I said yes. When the first love saw this, she couldn't help but move closer to me and whispered, "You can still chase me now!" I moved to the side, "I won't let you get mine." After the first love left, the class leader came over and shook my hand and said, "Old classmate, I'm interesting enough.... Give you a long face. "I quickly pulled my hand away, this dead fat man has a crush on me for ten years, and his heart will not change.

2. After graduating from college, I entered a travel agency to work, and today I took a group of foreign tourists to participate in the Shaolin Temple. A young foreigner came up to me and said, "I want to see my chest hair." I exclaimed, "Here?" No..." The foreigner said, "Yes, your chest hair is beautiful." After hesitating for half a long time, I still took off my shirt, and the foreigner looked at me in shock and ran away. I think in hindsight, he is going to the zoo, good luck his English is also past the fourth level, you say panda is not OK? ?

3. The goddess girlfriend was abandoned after she was pregnant with the chairman's child. The spare tire that chased her for ten years said that he would not give up and was willing to marry her, and his girlfriend was touched and married him. Now that the two have been married for two years, my girlfriend remembers that she has never cooked for him. This is not a sudden whim today, so I made green pepper meat shreds. The girlfriend watched her husband take a bite with anticipation, and as a result, he actually looked at the girlfriend and cried! The girlfriend hurriedly said: Don't get excited, I will often cook for you in the future... Her husband said: It's not that I'm too excited, but I'm crying!

4, once went to guangxi railway station, my mobile phone was lost, my witty daughter-in-law immediately sent me a text message with her own mobile phone, saying: "Husband, why have you been in the toilet for so long, why don't you answer the phone?" When I got to the point, I left first, I deposited the 20,000 yuan given to my mother to the station storage office, box 186, the password is 1685, see you at home Ha!" So, half an hour later, we caught the thief at the storage office!

5. I got my wife in a hurry last night and didn't pay attention to me until this morning. When I go to work, I ask my colleagues what to do? Colleague said: When you go back, you should also pretend to be very angry, it is best to drop a bowl, if you can calm her down is the best, if you can't stop it, then kneel on the glass ballast, anyway, I have always knelt on the glass ballast.

6. Last winter, it was snowing heavily outside, and my sister-in-law was too cold to drive her cousin's Audi to work. Just arrived downstairs, called my cousin and asked why the air conditioner in the car was not heated. My cousin quickly taught her, told her to open the inner circulation, turn on the compressor, and all the possibilities that came to mind were repeated. After a while, I called again and said that it was still not OK... I really can't think of any reason, I was preparing to go down to see, my sister-in-law suddenly asked my cousin: Is there anything to do with the fact that the air conditioner is not heated and the car is not on fire?

7. On weekends, the whole family went on a road trip, and the sister-in-law volunteered to drive. On the highway, the wife co-piloted, and my son and I played games behind. The sister-in-law who drives the car will drink water and everyone will talk to her, but no one will pay attention to her and let her solve it by herself. Ten minutes later, everyone put down their mobile phones, my wife helped her pinch her back for massage, my son smiled and praised her good driving skills, and I carefully handed over Red Bull. Why? Because she said: Ready to turn around and go back!

8. After retiring as the secretary of the chairman of the water supply company, the old man received a pension of 3 million yuan. In order to be able to share the money, I tried to please the old man. Knowing he liked fishing, I gave him a fishing rod worth 50,000 yuan. After the old man got the fishing rod, he was very surnamed Fen, and dragged me to the river to fish. As soon as we walked to the river, we saw a big fish in the river. But the rod can't catch it at all, and we can't catch it without the net. The old man was in a hurry and said to me: You are here to watch it and don't let it run, I will go home and get the fishing net. I was messy, let me watch the fish not let it run, it wants to run can I stop it?

9. When I got up early in the morning to wipe the car, I met Fa Xiao who lived in the same community. The surname Fen, who had a small face, said to me: "I seem to have taken peach blossom luck recently, and I may have to get off the list." I asked curiously, "What's wrong?" Fa Xiao continued, "There was a beautiful woman on the opposite floor waving a handkerchief at me early in the morning. I looked up and said, "People are wiping glass." ”

10, walking on the way to work, I hold the breakfast in one hand, and look at the manager's news with the other. The manager asked me for yesterday's report, I was not convenient to type, and I reported to the manager by voice. The manager was relieved to hear this: this time has been hard, and you will be given a salary increase next month. I was very happy to hear it, pressed the voice button and hurriedly said: Not hard, this is what I should do. At this time, a big brother happened to pass by next to him, and said loudly: Broken company, too tired, Lao Tzu does not do it. Then he managed to overpower my voice, and the problem was that I had it!

11, married to his ex-wife for a year, do not know what reason, has not been pregnant. Later, after seeing the family again, they also had children. On this day, my son asked me, "Dad, what is resignation?" I said, "To quit is to be doing a job and to say that I will never do this work again." "When I was practicing at night, I promised my son that he would rest after practicing for the last time. But one of his tones in the middle was not right, so I corrected it and asked him to pull it again. He said, "Didn't you say you'd rest after pulling this time?" I'm going to resign! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #