1, the husband called, said that tonight there is a party, can not go home to eat. The son asked, "Mom, what is socializing?" I explained to my son, "I don't want to go, but I have to go

1, the husband called, said that tonight there is a party, can not go home to eat. The son asked, "Mom, what is socializing?" I explained to my son, "I don't want to go, but I have to go, and it's called socializing." The son suddenly realized. The next morning he was going to school and said to me, "Mom, I'm going to socialize." ”

2, many years ago, I was eating ice cream in front of my house, and a child in the distance looked at my ice cream and swallowed. I asked him: Do you want to eat? The child nodded, and I handed him a stool and said, "Come, sit and watch." Many years later, I went to the woman's house, and it happened that she had a younger brother. His brother asked me: Do you want to marry my sister? I nodded. At this time he also handed me a stool and said to me: Come, sit and think.

3, that day on the side of the road waiting for the bus, the bus came to find that the legs were numb, limped up. A little girl on the bus had to let me sit, and I was more introverted and embarrassed to sit down when so many people argued. After a while to the station, I found that the legs were good, but the little girl who sat was still there, and the face could not pass, and I limped down again...

4. When I was in high school, there would be free porridge in our school cafeteria. I want to drink a little more will fill a bowl. I picked up the bowl and moved my body slowly, trying to move to my seat. On the way I met a cute girl, standing motionless, and let me pass, so I walked slowly in front of her. When my soup was right in front of her, she actually took a sip! I looked at her in surprise, she blushed, and said: I am afraid that the soup will spill out, so I will help you take a sip!

5, my husband hated me for having a daughter, and I parted ways, I did not find a partner again, but lived alone with my daughter. Last night I worked overtime until late to leave work, and when I got home, I cooked for my daughter again. Lying on the bed after cooking, my daughter came in and saw me and asked: Mom, what are you doing? I said, "Girl, my mother is sleeping." The girl said: How do you sleep with your eyes open? Is your heart sleeping like this? Yeah, the heart is very tired, and I want to sleep.

6, wife: "I want to travel once during the holidays." Husband: "Why spend that wrongful money and buy a travel magazine to read?" Eye-opening and money-saving. Well, don't think about it, go buy vegetables and cook. The wife immediately replied: "Buy vegetables?" Why spend that unjust money, buy this recipe to see, isn't it also eye-opening and saving money? ”

7, a certain same (learn gum inflammation to see a doctor, the doctor said to do (surgery. Classmates said: "I haven't had surgery before, there is (a little nervous.) The doctor said, "Don't be nervous, I (also had surgery for the first time)." This is the nurse coming over (asking: "Is the anesthetic in the mouth or outside the mouth?"). (The doctor said, "Hit the leg so you don't have to wait for him to run...")

8, when I was a child, my parents had a very bad relationship, and they often quarreled together. Once my parents quarreled again, my father could not argue with my mother, and I was particularly depressed and came into my room. Dad: Did you write your homework? I; : It's all done. Dad: Then review! Me: I'm memorizing English words. Dad: Then why don't you hurry to memorize it, and talk to me here? I:......

9, there is a person in front of the bank to set up a stall to sell boiled corn, the business is very good, the time is not long, he saved a sum of money. When an acquaintance heard the news, he approached him and wanted to borrow a sum of money from him to do business. The corn seller said to the borrower, "I'm very sorry, I signed a contract with this bank when I was setting up a stall here, and we don't compete, that is, the bank doesn't sell boiled corn, and I don't provide loan services." ”

10, each carton processing fee of 3 cents, processing 108 per minute, equipment 300,000, need 3 workers, wages 4500 / person / month, equipment power consumption 15KW / h, rent 7500 / month, work 8 hours a day, work 28 days a month, the gods calculate how long to return the cost, how long after the start of profit?!!

11, Mid-Autumn Festival National Day eight days small long holiday ~ day1 take the boyfriend home to see the parents day2 relatives to visit / barbecue day 3 to visit the grandfather and aunt uncle day4 temple to ask for a sign / go to the wind farm to play / give grandpa a 79th birthday day5 both parents meet day6 big brother in Huizhou to see the house / two Huizhou half-day tour day7 in the boyfriend's house lying corpse day 8 times deep / clean up the room summary: the small long holiday only rested for one day! Also gloriously injured!! Grill burns the chest

12, the company recruited a branch director, all aspects of the talk is appropriate, is ready to ask him when can report? He continued with our stubble: Wait a minute, I'll confirm one thing first, can my salary be on my two cards on a 4/1 scale? Such a strange request? We wonder: Why? He was embarrassed to say: My beloved wife and the beloved old mother are sworn enemies, and then my salary card is handed over to my wife, and the old mother can't take care of it...

13, the mother's mentality has always been very optimistic, one day, she said to herself a little sadly: "Alas, in the blink of an eye, I am 50 years old." I was about to comfort her, and then I heard her say the second half of the sentence leisurely: "1/3 of life has passed like this!" ”

14. When you go to the toilet during the study time of the third year of high school, you must take leave. One day I had diarrhea and ended up with tragedy. As soon as I ran out of the classroom, I met the old class. Me: Teacher, I have diarrhea and want to take time off.　　Old Ben: You go buy medicine?　　Me: No, I've eaten.　　Old Ben: So you go to the bathroom?　　Me: I'm going to change my pants.

15, son: Mom, this month's living expenses are 50, give some money. Wife: I want money to talk about, but I'll give you an idea, and you can go to your father. Son: Don't make trouble, my dad has money! Wife: Although he has no money, he will teach you how to spend 50 yuan for a month.