1 Friend got sick and went to drip, because he was in a hurry, he sped up the speed of drip! When the doctor saw it, he slowed down, and when the doctor left, he adjusted it faster. The doctor didn't adjust quickly but he didn't listen, doctor

1 My friend got sick and went to drip, because he was in a hurry, he sped up the drip! When the doctor saw it, he slowed down, and when the doctor left, he adjusted it faster. The doctor did not hurry but he did not listen, the doctor shouted: "Really hurry, then you drink!" The boyfriend said worriedly, "That won't work!" What if I open the lid and have another bottle?"

2 Last night at 12 o'clock, I slept soundly, the phone came to the phone, very helplessly answered, I said confusedly "who", she said "I'm in the toilet, bring me some toilet paper". I said, "It's too late today, tomorrow." "Then I hung up. When I woke up in the morning, I was abused by my roommates

3 The classmate asked me, "What do you say about crabs in the Wenling dialect?" I said, "Ha." She repeated, "What do you say about crabs in your dialect?" I said, "Ha." She was helpless: "... What do you say about the fish in your dialect?" Me: "Huh?" (Nasal). She said, "I'm asking about the 'fish' in your dialect, what do you mean?" Me: "Huh?" And then she ignored me...

4 Soon after the new marriage, the mother came to the house and saw that the family was extremely messy. He fiercely counted his wife down, the wife was very aggrieved, and after the mother left, she picked up the mobile phone and called her mother-in-law to complain... Crying for half a day, the other party did not say a word. Before a sentence came: "Next time I see the number, I will call again, I am your mother-in-law."

5 The eighty-six-year-old gentleman proudly said to the doctor during the physical examination at the 301 General Hospital: I made my 32-year-old wife pregnant, do you say that I am not healthy? The doctor told him a story: once upon a time there was a hunter who had never lost his hand in hunting, but once when he went out, he mistakenly used his umbrella for a shotgun, and when the bear pounced on him, he drew his umbrella and pointed it, and the bear fell down in response. The old gentleman interjected: This is impossible, it must be someone else's gun. The doctor said: You are right!

6 Today the boss talked to me and said: You have a strong personal work ability, and then give a department to manage it. I asked: Is the salary increased? Owner: No plus. I replied: I am not a carving card, nor am I a white, and I can't do anything that does not increase the price.

7 One day in class, the teacher asked Xiaoli, "What is the motherland?" Xiao Li said, "Teacher, the motherland is my mother." The teacher said, "Very good answer." Then the teacher asked Xiaoming, "Xiaoming, what is the motherland?" Xiaoming said, "Teacher, the motherland is Xiao li's mother." ”

8 The spider is going to marry the bee. Spider asked his mother, "Why should I marry a bee?" The spider mother said: "The bee is nagging a little, but the family is a flight attendant." The spider said, "I prefer Miss Mosquito." Mother Spider said, "Don't mention the little nurse, the last time my mother got sick and had an injection, she gave my mother a edema." ”

9 In order to prove the harm of smoking to the students, the teacher deliberately put the nicotine extracted from the cigarette on the bug, and the bug died after a while. The teacher then asked, "You see, what does this experiment illustrate?" The students replied in unison: "Smoking does not grow bugs."

10 The teacher was lecturing when he saw two students sleeping with books on their pillows, one of whom was a student with excellent grades and one who was a poor student. The teacher pulled the poor student up and scolded: "You unmotivated guy, you sleep as soon as you read a book, and you see people even sleeping and reading books." ”

11 Walking in the park, I suddenly saw a couple in front of me drinking water and throwing plastic bottles on the ground. I quickly ran to the couple, picked up the plastic bottle and yelled at the couple: "It is because of people like you that others say that we have no quality Chinese." The couple shyly left, looking at the distant couple, I took the plastic bottle and said, "Pick a few more and save enough money to take the bus home." ”

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